been thinking on this lately, u know when baby was born, people usually notice his/her age, too be honest, we count the days his/her is living, but as we grow older, we don't care about the day anymore, we care on year, and i believe that's the reason why we feel that we are still young as age pass very long, but days pass very fast, serious....
i don't know, i can't tell how much thankful i am for reaching 7305 days, i remember i told my friend once, "aku rasa aku mati muda, dalam 20 cam tu", and recalling back the dialogue, i can't afford other than to sit and istighfar, how that time i said without planning, i mean i could somehow feel that i won't live too long on this dunyah, but how come i could just say without doing anything, what a waste right?
i remember during the semester 3 holiday, i totally felt that it's the "day", and when i was in the bus from alor star to butterworth and suddenly the bus stop in sudden, i could not afford to do anything other than tawakkal to Him, "if this is the day, please forgive all my sin", and when nothing happened, i pray that i could continue my sem 4 and continue to do dakwah....
and people were busy preparing for the IB exam, i was busy playing with the feeling, i know that it's either i wll die before the exam or He'll ease everything, and when i finished the paper, i know that i will pass JPA requirement even though not as excellent as others....
and that feeling comes again, i seriously thought that there will be no 2 september 2011 to me, and how i passes the days with ambiguous feeling, especially during ramadhan, when i wake up on september 2, only Allah knows how do i feel, but again, the same question slapped my head, how much do i prepare for the "day"
and again, i have no guarantee that i will fly, death can come in sudden right? Allah had remind us so many times but why do we still repent? i don't know, too many things in my head, i know that i always think too much but it makes no harm to me but insha Allah, it's way better than spending time uselessly right?
that's all for now, the number is no longer 7305 days, it's becoming 7312 days today, alhamdulillah, and let's work and live as of we are seeing Allah, and if we don't He is watching us what? :p
aishah hopes u manage to see the unseen :)
i don't kk
