musafir

I’ve been leaving home since 13, and since then, the feeling of being a traveller often occupies my mind. I like being a traveller, I enjoy staying on the bus or trains for hours while my mind freely pondering even most of the time I sleep! One thing good when you being a musafir is the feeling of being a traveller itself. When you start unpack stuffs at any destination with a thought in your mind that you will be packing things up back! And you live your life at that particular destination with a thought that this is just something temporary! Another stop is indeed another journey. That is not even a destination! That is what life is I supposed! Travelling and preparing for leaving, realizing that this is indeed some part of my journey. I remember the first time I left home in January 2004, Zulkaedah in Hijri. Ma and abah were leaving on the same date for their Hajj. I was just so innocent at that time, still am! Since then, Hajj and hijrah become very significant to me. I first went to UK in Zulkaedah, the same date Malaysians leaving for their Hajj. My second year was the same too. And here I am for my third year too! One thing challenging about Hajj is the sacrifice! You have to leave in order for you to be there. Meninggalkan dan ditinggalkan. It is always an issue. Different amalgam of feelings but one faith! Meninggalkan dengan penuh takut dan harap pada orang yang ditinggalkan. Ditinggalkan dengan penuh takut dan harap pada Allah. To Allah we leave everything for, indeed!

When we left our camp for hiking, we do know that the destination is the campsite. You have to go through the journey and be back! But I guess, often our present journey hypnotises us. We were just so excited to be at the peak! That was my aim for the first 2 hours as far I could remember. Upon reaching at the peak, I was just so happy and jaded. Looking at the breathtaking scenery above, I started to realise that the peak was not my destination, it just half of the journey. We went down the hill happily I remember, because we thought we had achieved our mission. And Allah wanted me to understand this in depth when we passed by a very beautiful river. We were very jubilant to see the river! Everyone got separated and did own businesses. 2 of us were busy washing hands and drinking while another 2 were enjoying the place. I laid down by the river, glazing up the sky. It was a perfect day with perfect scenery! Subhanallah! I didn't know what hypnotized us but we were blinded at that time. I was just feeling like taking a nap! I know that is insane! We spent 30 minutes stopping and doing nothing! Suddenly, one of us realised the presence of a brother on the other side. That brother warned us that we haven’t reached our destination back! We continued walking for another 2 hours before reaching at the campsite in one piece, Alhamdulillah! Dunia mempesona, I often tell that. Most of the time; the destinations that we have dream about are indeed just some part of the journey!

I love to be reminded that this world is just something temporary. We are all leaving soon; anytime. Life is about preparing for a better tomorrow while cheering and treasuring the moment you have. But this world is not the destination. Studying and living in UK are not my destination. There is no such thing as settling down because unpacking is indeed another packing.  I am leaving for UK soon, so soon that I cannot brain! I don’t know what’s coming ahead but I know Allah is in Malaysia, UK and anywhere. Make doa for everybody.

Meninggalkan dan ditinggalkan; Allah takkan pernah!

12^th September

How beautiful, is this worldly life
But not a soul shall remain
We all come into this world
Only to leave it one day
I can see that everything around me
Rises then fades away
Life is just a passing moment
Nothing is meant to stay

This worldly life has an end
And it's then real life begins
A world where we will live forever
This beautiful worldly life has an end
It's a just bridge that must be crossed
To a life that will go on forever
So many years, quickly slipping by
Like the Sleepers of the Cave
Wake up and make a choice
Before we end up in our graves
O God! You didn't put me here in vain
I know I'll be held accountable for what I do
This life is just a journey
And it's taking me back to You

p/s: aishah hopes you see the unseen

asal Kau tak murka

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah

146 – dan betapa banyak nabi yang berperang didampingi sejumlah besar dari pengikut yang bertaqwa. Mereka tidak lemah kerana bencana yang menimpanya di jalan Allah, tidak patah semangat dan tidak menyerah. Dan Allah mencintai orang-orang yang sabar

147 – dan tidak lain ucapan mereka hanyalah doa, “ya Tuhan kami, ampunilah dosa-dosa kami dan tindakan-tindakan kami yang berlebihan urusan kami dan tetapkanlah pendirian kami dan tolonglah kami terhadap orang-orang kafir

(Ali ‘Imran)
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Wahai Tuhanku Kau sahajalah tempat ku mengadu kelemahan tenagaku dan kurang bicaraku, kehinaanku di mata ramai. Wahai Tuhan yang maha pengasih Kaulah Tuhan mereka-mereka yang lemah, Kaulah Tuhanku, kepada siapakah Kau akan serah aku ini? Kepada mereka yang jauh yang bencikan aku atau kepada seteru yang Kau berikan kuasa ke atasku? Andaikata tidakada sebarang kemurkaanMu keatas aku,maka tidak akan aku pedulikan, tetapi kemaafan dan kurniaan Kau lebih luas untukku. Aku berlindung dengan cahaya zatMu yang menyinari segala kegelapan dan yangmemberi manfaat dunia dan akhirat dari kemarahanNya keatas ku dan kemurkaanMu, Kau sahaja yang menegur sepuasnya. Dan tidak ada helah bicara dan tenaga hanyalah dengan Kau sahaja.

(doa Rasulullah di Taif)
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Reading doas from anbiya’ will make you ponder very deeply. The trials that they have countered often shaken their hearts but not faith. Often their doas are simple, but deep and you can feel the faith that they have.

Wa isra fana fi amrina

Most of the times, people do mistakes because of ignorance or some innocence. To me that is fine! What makes it worse is the extra mix of emotions that we have. Ladies! Our skeptical minds, our angers mix with frustrations, stubbornness, and arrogance.  When Allah show us the right path, and looking back on the days that full with roller coasters, we will knee down and recite the doa full heartedly. How I wish things could have been that worst! Berlebihan dalam urusan, we are all indeed. May Allah forgive us for that.

When we say we want to please Allah, as long as His anger is not with us, we will do everything! Even that means sacrificing the arrogance that your heart wants! Maybe the satisfaction or redemption that you should be feeling after completing something that you have been dreaming since twelve.

Alat vs matlamat; you will surely be tested on this! And always remember that Allah is always seeking for His pure servant. Allah deserves not to be shared what more challenged!

For You, I will!

p/s: aishah hopes you see the unseen