amalgam

assalamualaikum warahmatullah...

sungguh! tiada daya dan upaya kita selain dari Dia.

i was once felt that i've found what i've been seeking for long. i was later realised that i have finally found something that i will dedicate my life for. later i found the answers to all the questions that i've been pondering. and life was completely amazing. i smiled, looking on the stars, whispering, dear Allah, i've found you. and life was completely changing, i totally indulge in the life. alhamdulillah :)

bu later, when my sujud is no longer fill with tears, and i walk pass non-Muslims without whispering any doa, and look up for the sky heartlessly, i know that i've lost something. and that loss is a big loss, a total emptiness. Allah always love to keep us on the track. and He will do any test just to get us back on the track. those sahabahs and scholars, they too felt the something, but they fought, they lose, and they fought until they win. so do me, and us. life is tiring, it is. and i do wish that i can be in jannah soon, i can't wait to live happily without havng to struggle hard, and deal with people that gives me not just headache but even worse heartache. but the time and chance that Allah give me and us to survive in this world for a while should not be taking for granted. keep oving on. just move. keep on moving by all means, and praying, and force our hearts crying, longing for a purified heart, reciting the Quran whole-heartedly, remembering the hadith and practising them and live life in Allah's accordance. things are not gonna be easy, but Allah is listening, and He is monitoring, beong with us all the time. and we all should be shameful, for having the laziness, coz Allah never fail to give us a lot of nikmahs.

and we should all move by all means. may Allah keep guiding and opening our hearts for His path. may i fpund what i've loss, coz life means nothing without Him. indeed!

ya Allah,

this heart is sickening, and filling with the black dots. i seek for Your purification, forgiveness, and guidance.

sungguh! tiada daya dan upaya kita selain dari Dia.

kehidupan. aku mahu terus hidup dan menghidupkan.

p/s: aishah hopes u see the unseen

hanya Dia. kerana Dia. cukup Dia.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah

Allah! Sungguh! Tiada daya dan upaya kita selain dari Dia. Allah sangat hebat. Dia akan terus menguji sehinggalah dalam hati kita hanya Ada Dia. Tanpa perlu bergantung pada manusia. Tanpa! Kita mungkin boleh mengadu, bercerita, berharap agar manusia faham Dan membantu tanpa kita sedar akhirnya mereka tak faham. Mereka tak beri pertolongan yang kita harapkan. Mereka tak faham situasi yang kita alami. Kita terlampau berharap, berharap pada manusia, sedang kita lupa, kepada Dia sepatutnya kita bergantung harap. Hanya Dia! Cukup Dia! Dia Maha Mendengar, mendengar sendu seorang hamba yang butuh akan pencerahan, sendu seorang hamba yang mengharapkan bimbingan. Sendu seorang hamba yang mengharapkan pertolongan tatkala merasakan dirinya sedang menuju ke jurang neraka.

Tak Senang. Susah. Sangat. Untuk kita berlari menuju Dia. Dalam diri terus ditarik oleh jahiliyyah yang tak pernah kenal penat. Berharap ada tangan-tangan yang akan lawan tarik tali dengan jahiliyyah. Tapi tiada. Allah izin begitu. Sebab Allah ingin kita sendiri. Ya Allah. Aku dah jauh sangat dari Kau. Aku menuju jurang kehinaan. Selamatkan aku. Kau takkan menzalimi hambaMu. Adu lah. Menangis lah. Tunduk dan sujudlah. Hanya pada Dia. Jangan diharap pada manusia. Mereka mungkin takkan berada tatkala jahiliyyah hampir menang. Jangan diharap pada ukhuwwah. Juga pada orang kita berukhuwwah. Bergantunglah pada Tuhan pemberi ukhuwwah.

Kita mungkin tak lagi seiringan sekarang. Kamu di hadapan, aku di belakang. Jangan takut dan sedih. Selagi aku punya Dia, aku akan terus berjalan. Walau aku hanya merangkak sedang kalian berlarian. Itu janji. Bukan pada kamu. Tapi pada Dia. Hanya Dia. Untuk Dia. Cukup Dia.