salam..
had a very nice dream last night, it's hard to describe, but i feel like being slapped, it's a wake-up call for me, if before this i read how dream can actually change people, now i started to belive it, hopefully.. one thing for sure, life after this will be totally different from what i've planned, may be i was too small to understand the real atrocious world, yes it is.. depress? yes, i am but i am telling myself to accept it full heartedly, things will never be easier, i just need to be better... there are so many ways to be better, to contribute to the ummah especially with my limited hands and the capacity that i have as a woman, i know he knows it better.. andai itu takdirnya, aku terima ketentuanmu, ya -Rabb., walaupun sukar, ampunkan aku dan elakkan aku daripada menjadi kuffar, i remember this book i read long time ago, sesiapa yang banyak berangan ialah kawan syaitan, i was telling myselg that i actually imagining not dreaming but i now i realised that i actually manupulate Islam to be in my way, ampunkan aku ya allah, aku khilaf... so many things need to be pondered,
yeah, things will never be easier, u just need to be better, thank you for waking me up Ya -Rabb!!!
Thursday, 26 February 2009
Sunday, 22 February 2009
i am free, at last!!!!
salam...
done with my TOEFL today, now only i feel totally release, da feeling that i never had even after i finished my SPM....alhamdulillah...
it started at 10 but i reached kdu, penang(the place where we did da exam) at 8.45.. before 8.20 cleo texted me that he is there, awal gell.... and when i reached there, i saw amir is there tooo. so, after hi!!! and what are u doing now session, we talked a lot until syed arrived with his new airdo which really remind me dekat abg habib!!! alamak, cukuplah seorang abg habib in my life but i think i have the second one, sacrastic in his own way but thank god u are "cute", so i just think that syed is actually like kids yang suka cari pasal, nasib you lah syed hahaha.... btw, he's a drummer from VI and he's going to Italy for marching band competition in july!!! congrats lah, u memang ada muka drummer pon..... so syed asked me about my certificates, i sent the original to tamu... so, again, telan yo lah ur gelak tu and he told me that he has two aunts from tkc, and guess what his aunts said? budak tkc memang macam tu, i was like? what? but i understandlah, may be da kerek thingy and jaga pride kot but i think i talk to them jugak, i was not quiet just that i don't talk toooo much and we have just met, i mean a few months je kot, lepak lah!!!! but the good side about him, no offense girl!!! i was smiling and said, never mind, we are used to it....hahahaha
we talked a lot of thing and cleo said that tamu actually has this flying club where u can actually get ur Private Pilot Licence(PPL) there and u'll learn da basic things about flight and it is yours, i mean u can fly the air craft on ur own anytime that u like an u just have to pay 56 US dollars per month, it's another wow!!! i'll joint it for sure, insha allah!!! then we talked about Berkeley and all, and cleo told us that we can stay overnight at his grandma's house in California, which will cause 10 days trip from Texas, i'll enjoy it...insha allah...
we met this guy from JOrdan, currently doing Ph.D computer scienece at USM, his English is fine eventhough there are a few questions that he didn't understand and we need to ask again. i forgot his name in Arabic but the meaning is thunder. and the good thing about this guy is he has two wives and he told us about it.!!! a candid muslim guy. and he said that malaysia is an islamic country and he feels safer and he thinks that his kids will grow up islamically, but he complained about the goverments employee, da time and money that he wasted because of this poor "relax"attitude.. he advised us to work harder in States as it is a country where u neeed to be hardworking and not like Malaysia where u can relax and all, shame on Malaysians and we apologized him for that. it is nice to talk to him lah. fatiah came in alone by flight, i wonder how she survived, congrats dear, i can't do it yet!!! Shah is fine, still in his weird attitude, da guy yang Syed selalu laugh to, don't know, may be he's like Nisa kot, but he's nice and he's doing his business, selling e-bay products online and he's making a lot of profit, more than RM1000 per month, another wow!!! everyone seems to have da x- factor but i am still clueless about my x-factor, hahaha
sue's article is out but i couldn't buy The Star, sorry sue!!! ur message came in late, i was doing my Toefl at that time, hahaha.. after went through the courses and exams, i think Sue actually desrves that scholarship, u suppose to be the one that get the sponsor, not me.. allah knows better, i guess but being in that circle makes me think, eventhough they are different from me, but the variety that leads to the chaos, it does!!! don't know when are we , G6 are going to meet again, may be in April when we will work with exxon, hopefully we can go offshore together, that will be surely memorable, hahaha... to u sue!!! saya bangga dengan anda, u're poetic my dear, keep it up!!! u are much more better than Dina Zaman, better ideas and better argumentations, write a book and i'll surely read it, u have better understanding on Islam rather than she does, i really mean it...i tak sempat baca does my head look big in this?, tak pe, later on i'll cari dekat bookstore, hopefully still ada...ameen
TOEFL is fine, da vocab especially. it's like english test in college, ok i guess!!! it's over and i don't care about it, i just have to pray for the seat in TAMU, hopefully, i can go by this september, sorry ma and abah, i have to go and i will not let it down, i have my own reasons and i believe that ALLAH understands me very well... whoever that is looking for the ideas on how does TOEFL looks like, u can ask me for the details, malas nak elaborate, hahaha
i received a parcel from Alexandria, it's da second parcel.... but this it's da Quran's translation, which i've been looking for a long time, it's in english yah!!! i am preparing myself for that and i am learning all da hukums and rukuns in english, yelah nanti mat salleh tanya why can't u apostate in Islam, nanti i was wondering what is apostate, it's embarassing and plus it will be good if i can come out with some of the verses in Quran, moga ada yang dapat hidayah...ameen., terima kasih buat dia yang memahami, hanya kesyukuran yang dapat dipanjatkan, dia yang tak pernah mengecewakan, dia yang sentiasa mengetahui. the first parcel ada books on misconceptions about islam and some more, very interesting. since i am totally free right now, i am using this time to understand fully, it is difficult to translate the rukun iman, islam, wudhuk and all in English but i am doing fine with it kot, hahaha...
this is my first post yang i lepak sikit and elaborate everything in details, u have da reason right for my inscrutable, vapid posts, i apologize u for that... and before i end, let's ponder this:
by time,
indeed, mankind is in loss,
except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience
(Al-Asr, 103)
done with my TOEFL today, now only i feel totally release, da feeling that i never had even after i finished my SPM....alhamdulillah...
it started at 10 but i reached kdu, penang(the place where we did da exam) at 8.45.. before 8.20 cleo texted me that he is there, awal gell.... and when i reached there, i saw amir is there tooo. so, after hi!!! and what are u doing now session, we talked a lot until syed arrived with his new airdo which really remind me dekat abg habib!!! alamak, cukuplah seorang abg habib in my life but i think i have the second one, sacrastic in his own way but thank god u are "cute", so i just think that syed is actually like kids yang suka cari pasal, nasib you lah syed hahaha.... btw, he's a drummer from VI and he's going to Italy for marching band competition in july!!! congrats lah, u memang ada muka drummer pon..... so syed asked me about my certificates, i sent the original to tamu... so, again, telan yo lah ur gelak tu and he told me that he has two aunts from tkc, and guess what his aunts said? budak tkc memang macam tu, i was like? what? but i understandlah, may be da kerek thingy and jaga pride kot but i think i talk to them jugak, i was not quiet just that i don't talk toooo much and we have just met, i mean a few months je kot, lepak lah!!!! but the good side about him, no offense girl!!! i was smiling and said, never mind, we are used to it....hahahaha
we talked a lot of thing and cleo said that tamu actually has this flying club where u can actually get ur Private Pilot Licence(PPL) there and u'll learn da basic things about flight and it is yours, i mean u can fly the air craft on ur own anytime that u like an u just have to pay 56 US dollars per month, it's another wow!!! i'll joint it for sure, insha allah!!! then we talked about Berkeley and all, and cleo told us that we can stay overnight at his grandma's house in California, which will cause 10 days trip from Texas, i'll enjoy it...insha allah...
we met this guy from JOrdan, currently doing Ph.D computer scienece at USM, his English is fine eventhough there are a few questions that he didn't understand and we need to ask again. i forgot his name in Arabic but the meaning is thunder. and the good thing about this guy is he has two wives and he told us about it.!!! a candid muslim guy. and he said that malaysia is an islamic country and he feels safer and he thinks that his kids will grow up islamically, but he complained about the goverments employee, da time and money that he wasted because of this poor "relax"attitude.. he advised us to work harder in States as it is a country where u neeed to be hardworking and not like Malaysia where u can relax and all, shame on Malaysians and we apologized him for that. it is nice to talk to him lah. fatiah came in alone by flight, i wonder how she survived, congrats dear, i can't do it yet!!! Shah is fine, still in his weird attitude, da guy yang Syed selalu laugh to, don't know, may be he's like Nisa kot, but he's nice and he's doing his business, selling e-bay products online and he's making a lot of profit, more than RM1000 per month, another wow!!! everyone seems to have da x- factor but i am still clueless about my x-factor, hahaha
sue's article is out but i couldn't buy The Star, sorry sue!!! ur message came in late, i was doing my Toefl at that time, hahaha.. after went through the courses and exams, i think Sue actually desrves that scholarship, u suppose to be the one that get the sponsor, not me.. allah knows better, i guess but being in that circle makes me think, eventhough they are different from me, but the variety that leads to the chaos, it does!!! don't know when are we , G6 are going to meet again, may be in April when we will work with exxon, hopefully we can go offshore together, that will be surely memorable, hahaha... to u sue!!! saya bangga dengan anda, u're poetic my dear, keep it up!!! u are much more better than Dina Zaman, better ideas and better argumentations, write a book and i'll surely read it, u have better understanding on Islam rather than she does, i really mean it...i tak sempat baca does my head look big in this?, tak pe, later on i'll cari dekat bookstore, hopefully still ada...ameen
TOEFL is fine, da vocab especially. it's like english test in college, ok i guess!!! it's over and i don't care about it, i just have to pray for the seat in TAMU, hopefully, i can go by this september, sorry ma and abah, i have to go and i will not let it down, i have my own reasons and i believe that ALLAH understands me very well... whoever that is looking for the ideas on how does TOEFL looks like, u can ask me for the details, malas nak elaborate, hahaha
i received a parcel from Alexandria, it's da second parcel.... but this it's da Quran's translation, which i've been looking for a long time, it's in english yah!!! i am preparing myself for that and i am learning all da hukums and rukuns in english, yelah nanti mat salleh tanya why can't u apostate in Islam, nanti i was wondering what is apostate, it's embarassing and plus it will be good if i can come out with some of the verses in Quran, moga ada yang dapat hidayah...ameen., terima kasih buat dia yang memahami, hanya kesyukuran yang dapat dipanjatkan, dia yang tak pernah mengecewakan, dia yang sentiasa mengetahui. the first parcel ada books on misconceptions about islam and some more, very interesting. since i am totally free right now, i am using this time to understand fully, it is difficult to translate the rukun iman, islam, wudhuk and all in English but i am doing fine with it kot, hahaha...
this is my first post yang i lepak sikit and elaborate everything in details, u have da reason right for my inscrutable, vapid posts, i apologize u for that... and before i end, let's ponder this:
by time,
indeed, mankind is in loss,
except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience
(Al-Asr, 103)
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
m in love=)
salam...
hahaha, i admit that, m soooo in love with turkey, everything, the idyllic weather n scenery n also, da history....
i dunno, turkey has something to tell me, in fact before this i don't really know and care about it, the only thing that i knew is about sultan muhammad al-fateh n constantinapole, but now since i am having too much time, i know quite a lot, and yes m in love with turkey n turkish, why? simply because i believe that i can find da real me in turkey n i can meet another me from a turkish, crap, i know
so, here i am....dym, if u read this, i put the target in next 5 years, we have time to kumpul da ongkos and it needs to be one month, if ada rezeki, i want to have a house there so that, my next generation can marry a turkish...hahahaha
n since m a tea addict, urkey is da best place, farrah, if u read this, ada rezeki, insha allah, i post u one...ameen
jan, if u read this, i invite u there but i know i won't be a good tourguide, hehs
m praying that he'll give me a chance to gother...ameen
p/s: pray for my TOEFL on feb 22
kejatuhan sistem khalifha, bilakah akan kita jadikan iktibar?
a good question for a sleepless night....
hahaha, i admit that, m soooo in love with turkey, everything, the idyllic weather n scenery n also, da history....
i dunno, turkey has something to tell me, in fact before this i don't really know and care about it, the only thing that i knew is about sultan muhammad al-fateh n constantinapole, but now since i am having too much time, i know quite a lot, and yes m in love with turkey n turkish, why? simply because i believe that i can find da real me in turkey n i can meet another me from a turkish, crap, i know
so, here i am....dym, if u read this, i put the target in next 5 years, we have time to kumpul da ongkos and it needs to be one month, if ada rezeki, i want to have a house there so that, my next generation can marry a turkish...hahahaha
n since m a tea addict, urkey is da best place, farrah, if u read this, ada rezeki, insha allah, i post u one...ameen
jan, if u read this, i invite u there but i know i won't be a good tourguide, hehs
m praying that he'll give me a chance to gother...ameen
p/s: pray for my TOEFL on feb 22
kejatuhan sistem khalifha, bilakah akan kita jadikan iktibar?
a good question for a sleepless night....
Sunday, 15 February 2009
he knows it better=)
salam...
honestly, i didn't gwt the targetted marks for SAT, i am depress and i never had such depression, shame on me. feel like bumping ,y head to the wall, hay!!! u're a tkcian and how can u get such result? u should be better than them but look now!!! shame on u aishah!!! that's what i kept on telling myself on da night but i just got a slap, suddenly i realised that for all this while, i was too busy thinking of my future, i asked him for everything, i mean depends on things that i think ae right but i forget that there may be some things that i think are right but actually are not, he makes me realise that, i need to accept it with open heart. with such result, we still can go to the uni, i mean , we are sponsored and they need us for the money, they don't really care about ou achivement but i don't wanna go there just because i am sponsored, it'll be difficult for me to catch up da lessons, engineering is not that easy, mechanical is hard!!! but cleo told me that during da first year, we'll focus on our study only since we don't have da a-level n all. i don't know, i scared of asking from him, i just ask for da best from him, he knows me better that i do. i am praying for the best, if we get the admission on august, it means that he knows that i can handle it beautifully, insha allah...
at least now i realise that i can't ask him what i want but i need to ask him to give n show me da right way, he knows it as he's da creator, thank you allah for giving me da lessons, mahalnya harga sebuah hidayah!!! i don't mind to get such result because i learn very big lessons behind it, thank you for showing me da right path, u never fail to understand me=)
i am helping syakeer with debate, n i helped shafiq too, they are at the camp for their NS, it's not a big matter but i suddenly miss debate, specifically bm debate... sorry guys if i don't help u much bcoz after months of indulging myself without facts, my critical thinking's abilities are getting worst but i love to help u guys, u make me think a lot, ily=)
something went wrong wif da family n i feel like being a lawyer, nut i can't. if they think they can play and anaiaya my family, you are wrong. if you think that we are nobody, you are wrong... u shouldn't discriminate others, hay everyone has his/her own rights ok?
m going for kpp test tomorrow, hoping for the best. it's kinda difficult to hafal all da acts but i'll try. i don't feel like having a licence yet, i am still young but my parents forced me, so i am going for motorcycle first as that's da one that i have confident, may be i'll have for da car in next 5 years, ameen.... i am a coward when it comes to licence, i know. hehs
so many things happening and i know i have to be matured, nothing comes easy in life but i know as long as i remember and ask for da strength from him, he'll alleviate my path=)
i am going to be a human soon, insha allah=)
honestly, i didn't gwt the targetted marks for SAT, i am depress and i never had such depression, shame on me. feel like bumping ,y head to the wall, hay!!! u're a tkcian and how can u get such result? u should be better than them but look now!!! shame on u aishah!!! that's what i kept on telling myself on da night but i just got a slap, suddenly i realised that for all this while, i was too busy thinking of my future, i asked him for everything, i mean depends on things that i think ae right but i forget that there may be some things that i think are right but actually are not, he makes me realise that, i need to accept it with open heart. with such result, we still can go to the uni, i mean , we are sponsored and they need us for the money, they don't really care about ou achivement but i don't wanna go there just because i am sponsored, it'll be difficult for me to catch up da lessons, engineering is not that easy, mechanical is hard!!! but cleo told me that during da first year, we'll focus on our study only since we don't have da a-level n all. i don't know, i scared of asking from him, i just ask for da best from him, he knows me better that i do. i am praying for the best, if we get the admission on august, it means that he knows that i can handle it beautifully, insha allah...
at least now i realise that i can't ask him what i want but i need to ask him to give n show me da right way, he knows it as he's da creator, thank you allah for giving me da lessons, mahalnya harga sebuah hidayah!!! i don't mind to get such result because i learn very big lessons behind it, thank you for showing me da right path, u never fail to understand me=)
i am helping syakeer with debate, n i helped shafiq too, they are at the camp for their NS, it's not a big matter but i suddenly miss debate, specifically bm debate... sorry guys if i don't help u much bcoz after months of indulging myself without facts, my critical thinking's abilities are getting worst but i love to help u guys, u make me think a lot, ily=)
something went wrong wif da family n i feel like being a lawyer, nut i can't. if they think they can play and anaiaya my family, you are wrong. if you think that we are nobody, you are wrong... u shouldn't discriminate others, hay everyone has his/her own rights ok?
m going for kpp test tomorrow, hoping for the best. it's kinda difficult to hafal all da acts but i'll try. i don't feel like having a licence yet, i am still young but my parents forced me, so i am going for motorcycle first as that's da one that i have confident, may be i'll have for da car in next 5 years, ameen.... i am a coward when it comes to licence, i know. hehs
so many things happening and i know i have to be matured, nothing comes easy in life but i know as long as i remember and ask for da strength from him, he'll alleviate my path=)
i am going to be a human soon, insha allah=)
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
he makes it easy for me=)
salam...
i thank HIM again for alleviating my path, my way. cleo called me to tell me that texas amu had called chalveen n told us that they didn't received any cover letter n etc. but the good news is our seats in texas amu are secured n guaranteed and now the most important thing is our result, i would kindly appreciate if whoever reads this will pray for my SAT, hopefully i can get min 2000 marks, i can't say that it is easy but i believe that he'll help me....ameen, my TOEFL will be on feb 22 and insha allah i'll do it well, credit to semaa', for helping me to buy da books, i owe u big again, thank you chum
da political crisis is getting worst, i got migrain yesterday because of this thing, dunno what to say, i think ustaz is right, i have my own stand but i tend to get influenced., hehs. well, i don't know what will happen and i can't say it further as i am still dangkal and that's why i pray that i can go to texas amu as soon as possible so that i can learn so many things. currently, m reading a book about da basic things in islam and the misconceptions. sounds childish, ain't? but i just have too, i need to understand everything from the basic, the pure thung without any influence, i don't wanna be a muslim just because i was born as a muslim, but i am a muslim because i choose to be a muslim, and that's me now, i choose to be a muslim..
so, let's pray together for my result, my SAT, hopefully i can go to texas by this august...ameen
texas, here i come=)
i thank HIM again for alleviating my path, my way. cleo called me to tell me that texas amu had called chalveen n told us that they didn't received any cover letter n etc. but the good news is our seats in texas amu are secured n guaranteed and now the most important thing is our result, i would kindly appreciate if whoever reads this will pray for my SAT, hopefully i can get min 2000 marks, i can't say that it is easy but i believe that he'll help me....ameen, my TOEFL will be on feb 22 and insha allah i'll do it well, credit to semaa', for helping me to buy da books, i owe u big again, thank you chum
da political crisis is getting worst, i got migrain yesterday because of this thing, dunno what to say, i think ustaz is right, i have my own stand but i tend to get influenced., hehs. well, i don't know what will happen and i can't say it further as i am still dangkal and that's why i pray that i can go to texas amu as soon as possible so that i can learn so many things. currently, m reading a book about da basic things in islam and the misconceptions. sounds childish, ain't? but i just have too, i need to understand everything from the basic, the pure thung without any influence, i don't wanna be a muslim just because i was born as a muslim, but i am a muslim because i choose to be a muslim, and that's me now, i choose to be a muslim..
so, let's pray together for my result, my SAT, hopefully i can go to texas by this august...ameen
texas, here i come=)
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Saturday, 7 February 2009
apostasy, ben n me
salam...
just in the mood and i feel like sharing, raihan told me that i speak my mind and don't really tell about my surrounding, hahahaha. jan, this is what i am waiting for, i can't stand any longer to bottle my mind up, and this blog is my medium. well, apostasy is actually murtad.
actually, this thing happened during my preparation class with TPR(the princeton review), it's at wisma mpl, jalan raja chulan. i did enjoyed my class actually. everything is conducted in english, it's like a big surprise because in college we converse in manglish but it's fine lah. my english instructor is ben( we call them by name, n i felt awkward even until now). well, ben is a singaporean but he studied in cambridge lah n i have the instinct like he's curious about me since i am wearing tudung properly. oh, he's an atheist. well, as a non-muslim, he must curious about muslim and obviously he thinks that i am the right one to ask about islam. well, i have such instinct but i told allah that i am not reasy for such question. and he's totally open minded, everyone enjoyed the conversation, honestly, i didn't feel comfortable and he knew it. so he said sorry and told me that texas is an islamic state. i just smiled and said, i don't mind....hahaha
and he's sooo good with his profanity, sorry i totally against profanity. i don't like it and it's sooo not comfortable. but then, daaaa, americans are well-known with profanity, so, just accept it lah, hehs
i can't remember when was it, ben asked us regarding this apostasy. he asked us like, u can choose to be a muslim right? and we were like, yes! then he asked us again, why can't u choose not to be a muslim? why do u have to kill the people that choose to apostate? they have the right!... i was speeechless and blamed myslef, amir tried to anwer him, in islam, that's the law. but he refused to listen and we continued the lesson. may be for some people, there's nothing to do with it but hay! it gave me a big slap. honestly, i am not ready yet for such questions but now i am preparing myself. i know i'll meet soooo many ben outside and i really need to proove that i am proud to be a muslim, u can't underestimate me just because i am a muslim. and i sent a mail to this brother in states and here is the reply:
Praise be to Allaah.
Some countries allows the freedom of choice(but this is the law of these countries), in islaam and in countries running upon the law of Allaah Ta'aala and his Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) apostasy is not permissible, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever changes his religion, kill him." (reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, no. 3017)
Narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever changes his religion, put him to death." (Al-Bukhaari 6922)
The one who has known the religion which Allaah revealed, entered it and practised it, then rejected it, despised it and left it, is a person who does not deserve to live on the earth of Allaah and eat from the provision of Allaah.
By leaving Islaam, the apostate opens the way for everyone who wants to leave the faith, thus spreading apostasy and encouraging it.
The apostate is not to be killed without warning. Even though his crime is so great, he is given a last chance, a respite of three days in which to repent. If he repents, he will be left alone; if he does not repent, then he will be killed(islamqa 811/14231)
Base on these leaving islaam is not a game, infact you will be playing with the fire of hell as Allaah Ta'aala says:
"Truly, the Deen before Allaah is Al-Islaam." [2] [Qur'aan 3:19]
"And whosoever seeks a religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers." [Qur'aan 3:85]
Allaah Ta'aala also says:"Today, I have perfected your religion for you, and completed my Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Al-Islaam as your Deen(religion)." [Qur'aan 5:3]
Sister Allaah Ta'aala says that islaam is the perfect religion i.e the perfect way of life for humankind for success both on earth and the hereafter, how can you think that islaam is no longer adaptable to your life?
Some reasons might be:*Your country is not islaamic and thus cannot practise islaam as it should be.*The area in which you are living is plenty of non-muslims and their way of life is affecting you on the following points:Their clothing are different.They don't pray five times a day which could put in your mind that praying five times is bulky.They always do parties with music etc..
These are fitnah (temptation) to make you believe that you should live like the kaafir , but Allaah Ta'aala for sure will reward you if you resist these fitnah.
Islaam is the state of submission to the will of Allaah Ta'aala and it is the only religion which is adaptable to all people and all ages till the day of Judgement. Islaam is the only way to attain salvation and you should have the will to attain it and the will to be in paradise forever.
We ask Allaah for guidance, health and safety for both on earth and the hereafter, may peace and blessings of Allaah be upon his messenger.
i really need to understand and remember this and hopefully when i meet another ben next time, i'll give him such answe and he'll be speechless and tell me, help me to be a muslim.... ameen..
p/s: it'll be so difficult for me to describe something especially my feeling becuase i hate da jiwang feeling. i seldom describe my feeling, either in bm or english, i prefer to speak out my mind rather that telling u my feeling, hahaha!!! my bad
we are perfect but our attitude make us imperfect, eyp understand?
we better poner than think about it, hehs
just in the mood and i feel like sharing, raihan told me that i speak my mind and don't really tell about my surrounding, hahahaha. jan, this is what i am waiting for, i can't stand any longer to bottle my mind up, and this blog is my medium. well, apostasy is actually murtad.
actually, this thing happened during my preparation class with TPR(the princeton review), it's at wisma mpl, jalan raja chulan. i did enjoyed my class actually. everything is conducted in english, it's like a big surprise because in college we converse in manglish but it's fine lah. my english instructor is ben( we call them by name, n i felt awkward even until now). well, ben is a singaporean but he studied in cambridge lah n i have the instinct like he's curious about me since i am wearing tudung properly. oh, he's an atheist. well, as a non-muslim, he must curious about muslim and obviously he thinks that i am the right one to ask about islam. well, i have such instinct but i told allah that i am not reasy for such question. and he's totally open minded, everyone enjoyed the conversation, honestly, i didn't feel comfortable and he knew it. so he said sorry and told me that texas is an islamic state. i just smiled and said, i don't mind....hahaha
and he's sooo good with his profanity, sorry i totally against profanity. i don't like it and it's sooo not comfortable. but then, daaaa, americans are well-known with profanity, so, just accept it lah, hehs
i can't remember when was it, ben asked us regarding this apostasy. he asked us like, u can choose to be a muslim right? and we were like, yes! then he asked us again, why can't u choose not to be a muslim? why do u have to kill the people that choose to apostate? they have the right!... i was speeechless and blamed myslef, amir tried to anwer him, in islam, that's the law. but he refused to listen and we continued the lesson. may be for some people, there's nothing to do with it but hay! it gave me a big slap. honestly, i am not ready yet for such questions but now i am preparing myself. i know i'll meet soooo many ben outside and i really need to proove that i am proud to be a muslim, u can't underestimate me just because i am a muslim. and i sent a mail to this brother in states and here is the reply:
Praise be to Allaah.
Some countries allows the freedom of choice(but this is the law of these countries), in islaam and in countries running upon the law of Allaah Ta'aala and his Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) apostasy is not permissible, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever changes his religion, kill him." (reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, no. 3017)
Narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever changes his religion, put him to death." (Al-Bukhaari 6922)
The one who has known the religion which Allaah revealed, entered it and practised it, then rejected it, despised it and left it, is a person who does not deserve to live on the earth of Allaah and eat from the provision of Allaah.
By leaving Islaam, the apostate opens the way for everyone who wants to leave the faith, thus spreading apostasy and encouraging it.
The apostate is not to be killed without warning. Even though his crime is so great, he is given a last chance, a respite of three days in which to repent. If he repents, he will be left alone; if he does not repent, then he will be killed(islamqa 811/14231)
Base on these leaving islaam is not a game, infact you will be playing with the fire of hell as Allaah Ta'aala says:
"Truly, the Deen before Allaah is Al-Islaam." [2] [Qur'aan 3:19]
"And whosoever seeks a religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers." [Qur'aan 3:85]
Allaah Ta'aala also says:"Today, I have perfected your religion for you, and completed my Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Al-Islaam as your Deen(religion)." [Qur'aan 5:3]
Sister Allaah Ta'aala says that islaam is the perfect religion i.e the perfect way of life for humankind for success both on earth and the hereafter, how can you think that islaam is no longer adaptable to your life?
Some reasons might be:*Your country is not islaamic and thus cannot practise islaam as it should be.*The area in which you are living is plenty of non-muslims and their way of life is affecting you on the following points:Their clothing are different.They don't pray five times a day which could put in your mind that praying five times is bulky.They always do parties with music etc..
These are fitnah (temptation) to make you believe that you should live like the kaafir , but Allaah Ta'aala for sure will reward you if you resist these fitnah.
Islaam is the state of submission to the will of Allaah Ta'aala and it is the only religion which is adaptable to all people and all ages till the day of Judgement. Islaam is the only way to attain salvation and you should have the will to attain it and the will to be in paradise forever.
We ask Allaah for guidance, health and safety for both on earth and the hereafter, may peace and blessings of Allaah be upon his messenger.
i really need to understand and remember this and hopefully when i meet another ben next time, i'll give him such answe and he'll be speechless and tell me, help me to be a muslim.... ameen..
p/s: it'll be so difficult for me to describe something especially my feeling becuase i hate da jiwang feeling. i seldom describe my feeling, either in bm or english, i prefer to speak out my mind rather that telling u my feeling, hahaha!!! my bad
we are perfect but our attitude make us imperfect, eyp understand?
we better poner than think about it, hehs
Thursday, 5 February 2009
what am i searching for???
salam...
it had been a long time i didn't put myself in this "mushy" mood and i start to miss it. and, since today is friday n last nite, i just spoke to raihan for one hour., i think i need to say it out. dunno, i woke up early today and i started to reflect myself. no, actually it started when my mom told me that it would be better if i can apply for jpa instead of exxon and it's even better if i can go to other countries like japan instead of states.
after all, i know choosing to accept exxon's offer and choosing to be in states in this situation is such a gamble, i know my parents are surely worry of my future, it's not because of the econs only but also the politics, yes i know. even my relatives also against me and i kinda expect this thing pun but i don't really care as for me u don't know the reasons. hay! studying in overseas is something that i've been dreaming n hoping since i was 12. nobody knows the real reason, it's not because of da snow, it's not because of da glamorous, it's because of da freedom! NO!!! but there's something that i've been searching for a long time, there's something that i need to find it there, something that i'll never find it here, malaysia. and when allah gives me da chance, i'll take it because only he knows what i am hoping for, only he understands me well. if going to states will lead me to death, i don't mind as i know, allah knows better. i heard this statements only twice in my life time and i am not really sure but it goes somethig like; i went to france and i found islam without muslims and i went back to egypt and i found muslims without islam. i don't really sure who said this, either as-syahid imam hassan al-bana or syeikh jamaluddin al-afghani but this statements enlighten my spirit to study overseas. i don't care about da snow n etc. but i care about da islam. yes, i don't wanna be a muslim just because i was born as a muslim, no! and that's why i keep on reading books about this thing and i keep on asking people esp my ustaz and ustazah regarding this thing. it's not because that i don't believe in islam, no! i do believe in islam but i just want to find out and i really want to have da strong reasons why i am a muslim like the muallaf have. i always admire the muallaf esp those that choose to be da da'ie after they converted to islam, u make me proud. i don't wanna be a banal muslim no! i believe that allah created me with his own purpose which i don't know and that's why i need to discover. i remember when i asked my ustaz da question. it's like, "ustaz, as muslims we think that we're right and for the christs, they also think that they are right and how can u gave me da guarantee that we are right?" ustaz was speechless, it's like illogocal and can lead to murtad don't get me wrong. i just want to know da correct answer. i read a lot especially about religious thingy and i will not forget ustaz's advise," awak lepas baca buku agama terus tanya sesiapa untuk minta penjelasan, jangan baca buku tanpa tanya orang beragama sebab awak ada potensi nak sesat".. i was speechless and when da next time i prayed, i cried. i want to have da keimanan like what da sahabats have, i want my imam to be like imam al-bana and all da people that are willing for jihad and that's why i keep on searching for that. that's why i need to study overseas, i want to find da true islam, not muslims. i want to bring back da muslims glory and that's why i need to go overseas and search for da strength and guts. i can't afford to be with secularists anymore, i need to find my inner strength. i know my soul, i know, if those are the reasons, going to al-azhar is the best way, even my relatives will be very happy but no! i want to have da sunnatullah and syariatullah. allah does not ask everyone to go to the battle filed and fight, and i don't want to search for akhirat only, i want to have both because that only can open their eyes. even during the glorious time that muslims have, they are all-rounded.
i don't choose to go overseas without purpose. after five years living in seremban, yes, my home is the best place but i keep on asking myself, until when i am going to be in this comfort zone. if snow is my main purpose, i better live in malaysia and travel there with my family during snow. if freedom is my choice, i don't have to go overseas, i can also get it in malaysia but haaa....
i always love da feeling when i feel hopeless and at that time i don't have any help except from allah. i love da feeling when i think that i live alone in this world and i only have allah. i have da feeling when i am surrounded with muslims girls that don't wear tudung and i'll say to myself, ya allah, i hope that u'll keep on giving me da guts to keep on weraing tudung even though i am surrounded with naked people. it's not about proud but it's about the keimanan that u have towards him to keep on doing things that he asked. and alhamdulillah, i thank allah for always giving me such feeling. i need to eradicate myself from this comfort zone as soon as possible, i can't afford to stay any longer or if not i'll keep on thunking that i don't need him anymore.
what am i searching for? it's a norm when spm is coming very soon, u can see people are busy reciting da yassin, reading quran, stop profanity, perfoming hajat prayers and all, but i always ask myself, what am i searching for by doing this thing? is it only for my spm and after i get my result, i'll stop doing this? and, i'll surely answer it as no!!! i'll keep on doing that through out my life time and for that reason, i really need to go overseas. i don't have to go to states just to be an engineer. i have cousins who study engineering in malaysia. no, i am going to overseas to find islam, to find ny inner strength to bring back muslims glory and come back to malaysia to perbetulkan the secularists and muslims that practise liberal islamic. yeah, that's what i am hoping and working for. i have my own reasons for making such decision and for that reason, i only rely on allah to decide my path and i'll just follow him and i'll ignore what others will say as i know he's the only one that knows what's good and what's not for me....
what's the real purpose of our existance in this world?
-tidak aku jadikan jin dan manusia kecuali untuk beribadat kepadaku-
let's ponder=)
it had been a long time i didn't put myself in this "mushy" mood and i start to miss it. and, since today is friday n last nite, i just spoke to raihan for one hour., i think i need to say it out. dunno, i woke up early today and i started to reflect myself. no, actually it started when my mom told me that it would be better if i can apply for jpa instead of exxon and it's even better if i can go to other countries like japan instead of states.
after all, i know choosing to accept exxon's offer and choosing to be in states in this situation is such a gamble, i know my parents are surely worry of my future, it's not because of the econs only but also the politics, yes i know. even my relatives also against me and i kinda expect this thing pun but i don't really care as for me u don't know the reasons. hay! studying in overseas is something that i've been dreaming n hoping since i was 12. nobody knows the real reason, it's not because of da snow, it's not because of da glamorous, it's because of da freedom! NO!!! but there's something that i've been searching for a long time, there's something that i need to find it there, something that i'll never find it here, malaysia. and when allah gives me da chance, i'll take it because only he knows what i am hoping for, only he understands me well. if going to states will lead me to death, i don't mind as i know, allah knows better. i heard this statements only twice in my life time and i am not really sure but it goes somethig like; i went to france and i found islam without muslims and i went back to egypt and i found muslims without islam. i don't really sure who said this, either as-syahid imam hassan al-bana or syeikh jamaluddin al-afghani but this statements enlighten my spirit to study overseas. i don't care about da snow n etc. but i care about da islam. yes, i don't wanna be a muslim just because i was born as a muslim, no! and that's why i keep on reading books about this thing and i keep on asking people esp my ustaz and ustazah regarding this thing. it's not because that i don't believe in islam, no! i do believe in islam but i just want to find out and i really want to have da strong reasons why i am a muslim like the muallaf have. i always admire the muallaf esp those that choose to be da da'ie after they converted to islam, u make me proud. i don't wanna be a banal muslim no! i believe that allah created me with his own purpose which i don't know and that's why i need to discover. i remember when i asked my ustaz da question. it's like, "ustaz, as muslims we think that we're right and for the christs, they also think that they are right and how can u gave me da guarantee that we are right?" ustaz was speechless, it's like illogocal and can lead to murtad don't get me wrong. i just want to know da correct answer. i read a lot especially about religious thingy and i will not forget ustaz's advise," awak lepas baca buku agama terus tanya sesiapa untuk minta penjelasan, jangan baca buku tanpa tanya orang beragama sebab awak ada potensi nak sesat".. i was speechless and when da next time i prayed, i cried. i want to have da keimanan like what da sahabats have, i want my imam to be like imam al-bana and all da people that are willing for jihad and that's why i keep on searching for that. that's why i need to study overseas, i want to find da true islam, not muslims. i want to bring back da muslims glory and that's why i need to go overseas and search for da strength and guts. i can't afford to be with secularists anymore, i need to find my inner strength. i know my soul, i know, if those are the reasons, going to al-azhar is the best way, even my relatives will be very happy but no! i want to have da sunnatullah and syariatullah. allah does not ask everyone to go to the battle filed and fight, and i don't want to search for akhirat only, i want to have both because that only can open their eyes. even during the glorious time that muslims have, they are all-rounded.
i don't choose to go overseas without purpose. after five years living in seremban, yes, my home is the best place but i keep on asking myself, until when i am going to be in this comfort zone. if snow is my main purpose, i better live in malaysia and travel there with my family during snow. if freedom is my choice, i don't have to go overseas, i can also get it in malaysia but haaa....
i always love da feeling when i feel hopeless and at that time i don't have any help except from allah. i love da feeling when i think that i live alone in this world and i only have allah. i have da feeling when i am surrounded with muslims girls that don't wear tudung and i'll say to myself, ya allah, i hope that u'll keep on giving me da guts to keep on weraing tudung even though i am surrounded with naked people. it's not about proud but it's about the keimanan that u have towards him to keep on doing things that he asked. and alhamdulillah, i thank allah for always giving me such feeling. i need to eradicate myself from this comfort zone as soon as possible, i can't afford to stay any longer or if not i'll keep on thunking that i don't need him anymore.
what am i searching for? it's a norm when spm is coming very soon, u can see people are busy reciting da yassin, reading quran, stop profanity, perfoming hajat prayers and all, but i always ask myself, what am i searching for by doing this thing? is it only for my spm and after i get my result, i'll stop doing this? and, i'll surely answer it as no!!! i'll keep on doing that through out my life time and for that reason, i really need to go overseas. i don't have to go to states just to be an engineer. i have cousins who study engineering in malaysia. no, i am going to overseas to find islam, to find ny inner strength to bring back muslims glory and come back to malaysia to perbetulkan the secularists and muslims that practise liberal islamic. yeah, that's what i am hoping and working for. i have my own reasons for making such decision and for that reason, i only rely on allah to decide my path and i'll just follow him and i'll ignore what others will say as i know he's the only one that knows what's good and what's not for me....
what's the real purpose of our existance in this world?
-tidak aku jadikan jin dan manusia kecuali untuk beribadat kepadaku-
let's ponder=)
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
politics, islam is the best way
salam....
this is my favourite issue actually but of course i can't elaborate it like what the politicians do but i need to voice out, at least.. it may sounds childish and ridiculous but hay! i am just 17 going to 18 and i am not bias for sure, it is childish but i think base on logic so, it'll be ok.
i am writing now base on what happen in perak, i don't wanna say it too much and i just finished reading an article, written by RPK in out of the tempurung regarding the new Malay dilemma...
after all, politics is suck, everyone is actually thinking thay they are right, pretending in front of everyone that they are right and many more, i wanted to joint politics before this now, i think that i need to change my mind. i am wondering why can't we Malaysians unite? i mean yeah, live happily and why can't the government implement hudud n why can't u rule Malaysia with Islamic law? why? are u scared of losing the non-Muslims votes? come on babe!!! when Rasulullah ruled madinah, the people there; muslims and non-muslims lived together happily, and i believe that we can do that too. u shouldn't care about the votes too much, people will vote u if u show them the qualities, u don't have to tell people what are the qualities that u have but people will know from ur attitudes and for this reason i think and urge the leaders to come back to islam, be the true muslim or mukmin, direct the path and practise the islamic law, it's from allah and only allah knows his hamba, u'll never reach perfection but if u practise islam, if everyone practises islam(the muslims) and same goes to other religions, i believe that this world can reach the idyllic state, it's not a utopia. don't be selfish, be the real muslims and at that time, we can bring back the muslims glory. we will manage to conquer the world like what sultan mehmed did. no, this is not about domination but this is matter of separating allah's words. we will actually give very good impression to the non-muslims. we are not forcing them to be muslims but from our attitudes, they'll be interested to be muslims. and this is the only answer and this is the only key for all the crisis.
believe me, islam is the only solution if everyone follows what rasulullah did.
we can bring back da muslims glory.
islam pasti akan gemilang but will we be among the contributors? i am wondering...
this is my favourite issue actually but of course i can't elaborate it like what the politicians do but i need to voice out, at least.. it may sounds childish and ridiculous but hay! i am just 17 going to 18 and i am not bias for sure, it is childish but i think base on logic so, it'll be ok.
i am writing now base on what happen in perak, i don't wanna say it too much and i just finished reading an article, written by RPK in out of the tempurung regarding the new Malay dilemma...
after all, politics is suck, everyone is actually thinking thay they are right, pretending in front of everyone that they are right and many more, i wanted to joint politics before this now, i think that i need to change my mind. i am wondering why can't we Malaysians unite? i mean yeah, live happily and why can't the government implement hudud n why can't u rule Malaysia with Islamic law? why? are u scared of losing the non-Muslims votes? come on babe!!! when Rasulullah ruled madinah, the people there; muslims and non-muslims lived together happily, and i believe that we can do that too. u shouldn't care about the votes too much, people will vote u if u show them the qualities, u don't have to tell people what are the qualities that u have but people will know from ur attitudes and for this reason i think and urge the leaders to come back to islam, be the true muslim or mukmin, direct the path and practise the islamic law, it's from allah and only allah knows his hamba, u'll never reach perfection but if u practise islam, if everyone practises islam(the muslims) and same goes to other religions, i believe that this world can reach the idyllic state, it's not a utopia. don't be selfish, be the real muslims and at that time, we can bring back the muslims glory. we will manage to conquer the world like what sultan mehmed did. no, this is not about domination but this is matter of separating allah's words. we will actually give very good impression to the non-muslims. we are not forcing them to be muslims but from our attitudes, they'll be interested to be muslims. and this is the only answer and this is the only key for all the crisis.
believe me, islam is the only solution if everyone follows what rasulullah did.
we can bring back da muslims glory.
islam pasti akan gemilang but will we be among the contributors? i am wondering...
Monday, 2 February 2009
knowing me
salam...
i did this tag n i think it's da best so far that i manage to describe myself, hehs...
1. can be altruism esp to altruism people>>>i can be devoted
2. stupid n clueless esp bout entertainment, it's not my main concern3. forcing myself to enjoy my teenage life in my own way>>>it can be lagha n i really need to avoid to get hati yang suci
3. was a secularist but hopefully not am>>> after all, i really need HIM and i find the tranquility
4. not a chauvinist but hoping n working to be>>> i have too but daaa, i still believe in consideration
5. forgetful esp to things that i think it's not important even though others say it is>>> not sellfish but i have lots of thing to remember
6. don't really know my passion but pretend to know>>> i am just an average teenagers
7. weird in my own way>>> i am not myself because i need to be like the real muslims
8. wish to be different>>> esp to current teenagers but normal to muslims teenagers
9. always love da caliphate system n hoping to bring it back>>> my main concern and i care about it, one of my desire
10. hoping that the men will play their role so that the women can too>>> wish to be a housewife,hahaha
11. never dream to be rich>>> yeap because later in akhirat, i'll enter the jannah lambat because i have so many money to hisab, tak sanggup!!!
12. love turkish>>> no specific reason but i pray to ALLAH that my roommate in uni is a turkish...ameen
13. love aeronautics but hate mechanical>>> this is true but i need to learn mechanical
14. hoping to be a doc but hate da wounds>>> i am sure i will not be a doc, so docs,, i sallute you
15. outspoken esp for things that i think i am right>>> but i can accept my wrongs, lets discuss man!!!
16. like to be commented but hate denouncing>>> yeap, i have pride doh!!!
17. love bahasa melayu even my tatabahasa is caca merba>>>i really mean it n working for my perbehendaraan kata
18. argumentative n love to be one>>> there must be reasons right? tell me lah...
19. a tea addict>>> i find the relaxation while drinking
20. working for husnul khotimah>>> my dreams....ameen
21. love to ponder da quotes>>>love to make my own too
22. admire sultan mehmed n salahudin damn much>>>they were the conquerors when they were young! subhanallah
23. love da 'ketuanan melayu' words, just da words n i am not a racist>>>no specific reasons, that is just me
24. wanna have my own private pilot licence>>> i have too because if not i can't drive my own fighter jet
25. wanna do parachuting n paragliding>>> i have tooo, this is real
hahaha, it's not that precise but basically yes, i am esp bout my passion n ambition. i am still blur about it, honestly! hay, i love medic too and i don't really is engineering is good for me. one thing that i am sure enough, i need to be an engineer because i promised to ALLAH and it's because of the desire that i have. yeap, the desire that keep me awake every time i fall asleep, give me a slap every time i feel sleepy, n most important, it comforts me and keep me moving. and i thank ALLAH very much because until now, after 6 years, da desire still enlighten my life n yeah, i need to be an engineer, no matter what. i have too and at that time, we will see the kebangkitan umat islam. oh ALLAH, please alleviate my dreams as it's for everyone....
this is real and this is me, i am just a normal GOD's creature but i know the real purpose of my existance; tidak aku jadikan jin dan manusia kecuali untuk beribadat. and for that reason, i need to change. i am not alone in this world and i need to help others in need...
lets ponder.....
i did this tag n i think it's da best so far that i manage to describe myself, hehs...
1. can be altruism esp to altruism people>>>i can be devoted
2. stupid n clueless esp bout entertainment, it's not my main concern3. forcing myself to enjoy my teenage life in my own way>>>it can be lagha n i really need to avoid to get hati yang suci
3. was a secularist but hopefully not am>>> after all, i really need HIM and i find the tranquility
4. not a chauvinist but hoping n working to be>>> i have too but daaa, i still believe in consideration
5. forgetful esp to things that i think it's not important even though others say it is>>> not sellfish but i have lots of thing to remember
6. don't really know my passion but pretend to know>>> i am just an average teenagers
7. weird in my own way>>> i am not myself because i need to be like the real muslims
8. wish to be different>>> esp to current teenagers but normal to muslims teenagers
9. always love da caliphate system n hoping to bring it back>>> my main concern and i care about it, one of my desire
10. hoping that the men will play their role so that the women can too>>> wish to be a housewife,hahaha
11. never dream to be rich>>> yeap because later in akhirat, i'll enter the jannah lambat because i have so many money to hisab, tak sanggup!!!
12. love turkish>>> no specific reason but i pray to ALLAH that my roommate in uni is a turkish...ameen
13. love aeronautics but hate mechanical>>> this is true but i need to learn mechanical
14. hoping to be a doc but hate da wounds>>> i am sure i will not be a doc, so docs,, i sallute you
15. outspoken esp for things that i think i am right>>> but i can accept my wrongs, lets discuss man!!!
16. like to be commented but hate denouncing>>> yeap, i have pride doh!!!
17. love bahasa melayu even my tatabahasa is caca merba>>>i really mean it n working for my perbehendaraan kata
18. argumentative n love to be one>>> there must be reasons right? tell me lah...
19. a tea addict>>> i find the relaxation while drinking
20. working for husnul khotimah>>> my dreams....ameen
21. love to ponder da quotes>>>love to make my own too
22. admire sultan mehmed n salahudin damn much>>>they were the conquerors when they were young! subhanallah
23. love da 'ketuanan melayu' words, just da words n i am not a racist>>>no specific reasons, that is just me
24. wanna have my own private pilot licence>>> i have too because if not i can't drive my own fighter jet
25. wanna do parachuting n paragliding>>> i have tooo, this is real
hahaha, it's not that precise but basically yes, i am esp bout my passion n ambition. i am still blur about it, honestly! hay, i love medic too and i don't really is engineering is good for me. one thing that i am sure enough, i need to be an engineer because i promised to ALLAH and it's because of the desire that i have. yeap, the desire that keep me awake every time i fall asleep, give me a slap every time i feel sleepy, n most important, it comforts me and keep me moving. and i thank ALLAH very much because until now, after 6 years, da desire still enlighten my life n yeah, i need to be an engineer, no matter what. i have too and at that time, we will see the kebangkitan umat islam. oh ALLAH, please alleviate my dreams as it's for everyone....
this is real and this is me, i am just a normal GOD's creature but i know the real purpose of my existance; tidak aku jadikan jin dan manusia kecuali untuk beribadat. and for that reason, i need to change. i am not alone in this world and i need to help others in need...
lets ponder.....
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