huge space

assalamualaikum warahmatullah...

i always have this question in my mind, how am I going to love a lot of people? i don't think i have such a huge space in my heart for me to love people. love means devotion, responsible, commitment and lots more. even worse, i don't really have a lot of time to whisper specific doa for specific people that i love. i just cannot because they are just many! embracing this summer with mindset as orang yang bakal ditinggalkan and we really count you, i know that i have such a huge task to work on soon, very soon! and i know that i cannot make that if i don't have them in my heart. and that occupies my mind. one of my prayer list for this summer is to learn to love a lot of people.
I saw Serial Cinta by Us Anis Matta during DW. and i know that i have to grab it. i just love the feeling of indulging myself with books, reading the thoughts, enjoying and indulging with the language, and swimming in the stories. Alhamdulillah, Allah answers my prayers. just what i need at this point of time! kekuatan jiwa!
i couldn't argue for much when he said erti cinta ialah memberi dan kita takkan memberi kalau kita tidak memiliki. so, where do you get the love from? Allah! the stronger the kekuatan jiwa you have, the stronger the love that you can give! cinta ialah memberi, memberi tanpa mengharapkan balasan. memberi sampai orang tu rasa diberi dan walaupun tak diberi balik, cukuplah Allah maha Pemberi!
Allah! i just couldn't keep the feeling! now i know!
now only I understand when ISHAB said kita menawan mereka dengan kasih sayang. it's a pure love i am telling you. love of the ummah to help them saving their life from hell fire, and it just a matter of love!

and while sending choy off, we discussed this topic together with auni.
i am telling you that to give is just so dahsyat! i cannot deny that i need some space for my own, just to recharge. "kadang-kadang aku tak layan anak usrah aku sebab waktu tu aku tak mampu nak bagi. dan aku banyak diam dengan diorang. sebab aku tak tahu apa nak bagi", somebody said. and me too most of the times would laying down with my eyes glaring up high, searching, bulding and recharging the strength! i cant stop tears running. it is indeed a huge responsibility and love and therefore deserves big heart! ya Allah, help me with that!

to love is to give!

ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku memohon kepadaMu agar selalu mencintaiMu, mencintai orang orang yang mencintaiMu, dan amal perbuatan yang dapat mengahtarkanku untuk mencintaiMu. ya Allah, jadikanlah cintaku kepadaMu melebihi cinta pada diriku, keluargaku dan melebihi air yang menyejukkan. (HR at-Tirmidzi)

p/s: aishah hopes you see the unseen