eid mubarak...

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Syawal comes with amalgam of feelings, I ended ramadhan with one this mountain hope, hoping to be able to meet ramadhan again… looking back at my ramadhan, tonnes of thing need to be improved, perhaps there are still minutes and seconds that were not used wisely, there are still moment that I live without thinking of Him, there are still moment that I hope ramadhan will end fast…. Ya Allah, please…gimme chance to meet the enxt ramadhan so that I could improve, I know that I was not performing up to notch for me to be granted the taqwa, but I know that u are most forgiving ang loving, please ya Allah…. Gimme chance to meet the next ramadhan, I bet….

I know that visiting the cemetry during eid had not been practised by Rasulullah, but realising that was the only golden time for me to visit the cemetry and taking the inrah… it’s a good time indeed to soften my heart by remembering as-sam… I haven't cry for weeks and I need that and alhamdulillah, I got sth….

Coming back from the cemetry, celebrating 1st syawal without tok, pak long… I feel lost… I know I shouldn't be having that feeling, it's not that I'm not redha that they are gone, but deep down inside, I can't deny that I miss them terribly… and I feel thankful and lucky coz later in akhirat, insha Allah we will be able to live together till infinity…… ameen… ya Allah, place us in jannah so that we can still love each other because of You…

Raya visiting tok tam, an oldie that I used to get close too…. Hearing to her stories that she was able to finish the Quran for 4 times made me cry… how lucky u are… tho people could say that she does not have anything to be done other than ngaji…. If only this is my last ramadhan and I could tell Allah that I were not able to recite the Quran many times because I was busy with my IB stuffs, if only…. Ya Allah, forgive me for focusing too much on my dunyah, forgive me for still loving my dunyah, for give for not succeed in treasuring ramadhan, please ya Allah, meet me with the next ramadhan so that I can improve…ameen…

Ramadhan and syawal without my two friends, yeap they are just buddy that comes in my kife, one is my kindergarden friend, muhammad muhsin omar and one is my sahabat nurul jannah ahmad sani… raya made me thinking on them, serious… no one could guaranteen that this won't be my last ramadhan… and often I wonder wether they two realised that last ramadhan was their last ramadhan… I can't stop tears from running out thinking on them having a good rest… ya ALLAH, PLACE THEM IN ONE OF THE JANNAH'S HOLE… they were good servants and good friends… please ya Allah, help their family with their absence and meet them with people that they love in jannah..

Al fatihah to muhammad muhsin omar and nurul jannah sani….

If people said that syawal was a bliss, I could just smile, naah…. Bliss can only be defined the moment I meet Him, not other time… ya ALLAH, u know what in little heart, I bet for ur forgiveness, place us in ur jannatul firdaus, grant us syahid, give us strength to fight for Islam…. ameen

Aishah hopes that u manage to see the unseen