heartless

salam...

tonnes of thing in my mind... academics, dakwah etc....
been very worry with my academics, IA, EE, TOK and other IB rudimentary thingy... and at the same time deep down in my heart, i know that i shouldn't be having this feeling... why do i worry more on my dunyah rather than my akhirat? what kind of servant am i? how terrible a daie that think on herself more than the ummah...

m sorry, iman jatuh ke dalam laut yang ketujuh, betullah biah solehah tu penting tahap giga... susah sangat nak tsabat, i think and m sure that i miss the biah, i miss to tadabbur, i miss to walk with radiant face wisihing everyone assalamualaikum... i miss to sit in halaqah and ponder together...

m sorry but m desperate for reminder.... i know that Allah treats everyone with his/her best way and i believe that ALLAH is teaching me with events and atrocious things in the world... being a thinker, i can't stop myself from thinking and thats the start for me to generate my iman but then thinking without sharing the thoughts makes me crazy... i mean when u have too many things bottle up in ur mind and u can't pour it out, its the time when u will find something as an escapism.... and that escapism is sth bad, i mean it....

m sorry for sharing this out, but reality bites... changing for good is not easy, keeping it for better is even harder... for readers, please pray that i can be better, need to be super strong, need to really work for syahid tho dah lama lupa pasal my golden dream:SYAHID....

i feel annoyed viewing facebook... but i know that i shouldn't.... viewing facebook, i know that Allah is reminding me that my work is still lots more and i need to work everything off... takdairnya umur tak panjang, moga syahid masih di genggaman....

seimbang itu sukar...

aishah hopes that u manage to see the unseen...