assalamualaikum warahmatullah....

few weeks ago:

cried terribly seeing mr tan's pictures in Turkey. including captions. ya Allah sampaikanlah. i desperately need that...

few days ago:

someone gave me a business class ticket to Turkey. i was about to pack when suddenly my hand pressed the snooze button. cried. ya Allah, sampaikanlah....

yesterday:

edgi (a Turkish): u went to Yemen last summer?
ben (an English): i did.
edgi: i went to Palestine last summer.
me: what? u went to Palestine? serious?
edgi: I did.
me: what did you do over there?
edgi: we had a summer camp. helping the kids. we went there with our groups of pilots.
me: where on Palestine did you go?
edgi: Westbank. we stayed there for 3 months..

my heart was exploding. ya Allah. why so hard? a Turkish. went to Palestine. what a complete set.
and the trials to really beriman with this ayat increasing.

"And it does not beseem the believers that they should go forth all together; why should not then a company from every party from among them go forth that they may apply themselves to obtain understanding in religion, and that they may warn their people when they come back to them that they may be cautious"          (at-Taubah:122)

Allah. weak. i am. even a verse is hard for you to really accept open heartily and work into amal.

oh, ben and edgi are just 20. Allah. i try. i am trying my best actually to really beriman with that verse, accepting the fact that my battle field is here. accepting the fact that going to Gaza is not everything, that's not my goal, redha Allah is. and where ever i am, when ever it is, pleasing Allah is my only desire. astaghfirullah, how intelligent syaitan is. even going to Gaza can actually be wrong if the goal is to satisfy our heart, not Allah.

may Allah place me in Gaza or where ever place that He is please with. and may Allah allow me to meet the Palestinians where ever and  when ever He likes, if not here, insha Allah in the here after.

sungguh! tiada daya dan upaya kita selain dari Allah

p/s: aishah hopes you see the unseen