salam....
after few months of silent, now only i feel like sharing.... i think life is interesting, of course it is, being an Ib student makes me realise that life is about trial and error, u keep on trying....
we just finished our sports carnival, seniors graduation yesterday and i went out for buying the students tickets on friday... in simple words, i don't have time studying... that is fine if only my week is like anybody else.... i'm having maths and statistics test tomorrow and physics on tueday...i haven't finish my economics commentaries and my extended essay.. not to forget my TOK essay... what more revising my sem 1 and sem2 syllabus.... call me crazy for still involving myself in all the MPP work.... often is ask myself on why am i doing all this...sacrifaction is not always easy but thats what i have to do often... don't ask me about sleep coz i seldom get enough sleep... it will all be waste if i'm doing all this for myself, for CAS and for any other stupid things... the only thing why i keep on moving is because i wanna prepare myself for a world that won't last...i'm tired thinking about the world's problem, it never end..... i always love the feeling when Allah keeps me going tho i feel like the world is on my shoulders.... thats the power of niat... MPP life is not easy, IB some more, naqibah, sehati serumpun and lots more... but knowing that ALlah is looking for all ths, i know that i have to work full-heartedly for this path, i know that i gotta prepare my best for the here after..... and oh ALLAH, please allevaiate my way, i'm seeking and begging for ur love and i can't wait to meet u, i need u always and i need u to keep on going.... give me a good date with u later on, i love u....
and i remember a hadith saying that those that ALlah wants good things about him/her, ALlah will grant him the understanding on Islam... and i think odah got that... often i cry shocking with the amazing Allah's works... when Allah gives her the understanding, i couldn't ask for more and please Allah, speed up her way in this path, i love her and i want her to be together in jannah...
ya Allah,
tsabatkan kami di jalanMu, anugerahkan kami kecintaan terhadap pertemuan denganMu melebihi kecintaan kami terhadap dunia dan seluruh isinya, masukkan aku dalam golongan yang engkau redhai dan anugerahkan aku syahid di jalanMu...
p/s: Aishah hopes that u manage to see the unseen
Showing posts with label BT CHANGGANG. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BT CHANGGANG. Show all posts
Sunday, 8 August 2010
Monday, 15 March 2010
last teen!!!!
salam....
tonnes of thng happen and i can feel little by little changes happen, perhaps we're all growing up... i realised one thing, one thng that hitted me most, i always dare to dream, dare to walk my dreams but don't have the guts to face the reality... n i did expect that life will be this crazy but i thought that it just a dream, but seems that Allah knows that i aam capable of handling it....
i gave a talk at SK LKTP Kemasul and i myself touched when i told them the purpose of us working hard is not to succeed but to actually fulfill the task that Allah has given us, we work hard to be who we wanna be because we know that only we deserve for that task/post. failure of us working on that will result in ruining everything, and most important we are accountable on that.... i think it just hard to explain but Paulo's book had helped me a lot.... tho he mentioned a lot on Bible, but i can that he is somehow relating it with the Quran and not many people are ready to talk about life, for us, life is just life but we always forget that life has tonnes of thing to reveal on..... n m working very hard in turning my living into a life, a life that is full of blessing.. ameen
i will say that changes is hard, and yes it is... leaving something that u're used to do is soooo hard, n i do admit that i am being hypocrite for all this while, i act differently in front of collegians, adapting myself with them, living our life like wut we used to be... but after i know that all i've been doing are wrong, i try to leave little by little but dealing with people expectation and perception, i feel it hard coz they always make things harder and complicated... and i feel like carried away whenever i talk to collegians what more meeting them, often i feel ashame on what we are doing but dunno, we are just soooo proud of doing it, ya Allah, forgive us on that...
i know that lots of thing coming in, n i welcome them.... and indeed this short holls is totally an escapism, lari dari realiti or may be i should put it in a better phrase, preparing myself to face more atrocious world....
welcome, welcome and welcome.... chal will surely working to work on those coz now she has the strong believe that she has been searching for, He is always there =)
my naqibah told me that the reason why we are in this path is not because of our prayers, but because of people's prayers that felt teraniaya or may be our parents prayers but most important others prayers, not us...
p/s: this is all nonsense
p/s/s: i am getting more curious about my pen-pal....
tonnes of thng happen and i can feel little by little changes happen, perhaps we're all growing up... i realised one thing, one thng that hitted me most, i always dare to dream, dare to walk my dreams but don't have the guts to face the reality... n i did expect that life will be this crazy but i thought that it just a dream, but seems that Allah knows that i aam capable of handling it....
i gave a talk at SK LKTP Kemasul and i myself touched when i told them the purpose of us working hard is not to succeed but to actually fulfill the task that Allah has given us, we work hard to be who we wanna be because we know that only we deserve for that task/post. failure of us working on that will result in ruining everything, and most important we are accountable on that.... i think it just hard to explain but Paulo's book had helped me a lot.... tho he mentioned a lot on Bible, but i can that he is somehow relating it with the Quran and not many people are ready to talk about life, for us, life is just life but we always forget that life has tonnes of thing to reveal on..... n m working very hard in turning my living into a life, a life that is full of blessing.. ameen
i will say that changes is hard, and yes it is... leaving something that u're used to do is soooo hard, n i do admit that i am being hypocrite for all this while, i act differently in front of collegians, adapting myself with them, living our life like wut we used to be... but after i know that all i've been doing are wrong, i try to leave little by little but dealing with people expectation and perception, i feel it hard coz they always make things harder and complicated... and i feel like carried away whenever i talk to collegians what more meeting them, often i feel ashame on what we are doing but dunno, we are just soooo proud of doing it, ya Allah, forgive us on that...
i know that lots of thing coming in, n i welcome them.... and indeed this short holls is totally an escapism, lari dari realiti or may be i should put it in a better phrase, preparing myself to face more atrocious world....
welcome, welcome and welcome.... chal will surely working to work on those coz now she has the strong believe that she has been searching for, He is always there =)
my naqibah told me that the reason why we are in this path is not because of our prayers, but because of people's prayers that felt teraniaya or may be our parents prayers but most important others prayers, not us...
p/s: this is all nonsense
p/s/s: i am getting more curious about my pen-pal....
Friday, 25 December 2009
surviving=)
salam...
has been months, i know.... chal is soooo an idle, dunno.. feel so bad to blog, i mean blogging sometimes can be tiring, may be bcoz we gotta put our feeling in it kot, may be not for others but yes for me.... lots of thng happen, not that i wanna share but i just thnk that thnking too much about it is useless, let it be, hehs...
sem 1 has finished, done with it, ALhamdulillah, but spooky how time flies, hehs... i never thought that sem exam can be like spm, evryone study like hell n u can see people moving with books, stay up n etc.... man, i can't live with it, hehs...... unlike them, i was busy with the tickets, yes i incharge on da tickets, hehs... went to Pudu friday n sunday, getting da tickets done, buka counter, call people etc,... n i learnt a lot of thngs throught out my life as welfare bureau n Alhamdulillah, little by little, i manage to eradicate myself from the coll shell n i thank Allah for that =) being a collegian(once a collegian always a collegian rite?), i got so many do's n don't's.. but afta being one of da mpp's i need to leave some of them n i found it difficult at da fst place... if before ths i ignore all da unkown no, i walk straight without gvng glance dekat people, i don't gv a damn on wut happen to coll but now da situation hs changed at least 180dgrees, heeeeeeeeeeeeee....
as welfare bureau, commonly knows as someone u can always rely on, i gotta change myself little by little.... i started to get myself ok wif all da unknown no, normally dealing wif tckets, i started to walk wif at least a smile n now Alhamdulillah, i can deal with boys normally, no more cuak tho their voice sgt lah menakutkan =p... but most important, now i know on how to deal wif diff people n wut u need is patience, yeap i got da passion for all ths while but now m cultvatng patience =) n i thank Allah for giving me the opportunity to improve myself for da better =)
n i love my mpp family =) we are complementing each other, n i found that Allah has been allevaiting my path, my task n my life, Alhamdulillah =) n thanx to my mpp family for always there to lend their hand, special thanks to:
DEEB- for sticking up =)
TAPAH- for helping me out wif ur bernas idea =)
ADRI- for ur presence n for sharing ur xperiences =)
FATS- for coloring my life =)
GOH- for pushing my work to the limit =)
SYED- for being da coolest along ever =)
SYAKIR- for invegilating my work, feel secured =)
FIZREE- for always asking on my progress =)
BESSI- for helping me out wif da announcements =)
JANNAH- for always make me feel nearer to HIm =)
ALIIMRAN- for actvating my creative part =)
FAZMI- for making me feel that life is sooo easy =)
KHAi- for making me realise on my s****** to live in coll shell =)
SAM- for helping me out wif my english =)
n yeah.. thanx guys... hope ths everlast bond will help us through out our journey to accomplish our mission, making global players with malaysian identity =), insha Allah
n i can't deny da fact that sometimes i do feel like flagging, sated n even jaded =( n when ths come, i always wish that i can go to matrix n have fun wif others, ok i know that it soundss so wrong, matrix life is even busier, hehs... dunno... i do miss them, muazzam my KP?? funny yet alim in his own way, the one that always remind me =) PQ, n nasi ekonomi.. =) wawa n his loghat penang, balik evry week =), een n her scandal yg banyak nak mampos =), wanie a KISASian tapi still gila =), bro afiq yg sengal =), k echah, n lots more to mention =))) i love u guys tho we are far far away, do tell me whenever u guys nak buat reunion =)
n i do feel that KMPP is soooo homey.... its nice to be there, duno.. i usually hypnotized whenevr da mak cik use loghat utara in conversation, dunno, may be i usually forget that loghat utara can't just be spoken only at home, hehs.. stupid i know... i miss kmpp..... i was sooo thrifty when i was there, impressive i know but now...... man, chal is getting crazier especially wif da food =))))
afta chatting wif alya, i feel glad n lucky to be in KMB, to be given da opportunity to live in community that encourage me to be good, usrah n cera,ah are compulsary, Alhamdulillah... n for all ths while, i thought coll is a good islamic environment, i thought we've been practising Islam fully in coll but i was soooooooooooooooo wrong... n i find it difficult to adapt wif life here, i wanna be good n i know that i gotta be but i thnk it justttttttt so hard to follow the seniors n i've decided to make it in my own way, m giving myself time for that, n insha Allah.... wearing socks, eating in dulang, kiss dekat cheek n wut more u name it, da thngs that we never did in coll n it just sooo hard n i find that the seniors areeee sooo nice, they don't lawan if da boys shushing n ths makes me sgt lah geram.... but never mind, m adapting wif it =), isnha Allah....
oh, my stats teacher, mr Bada, halau me 2 times from class, stupid n funny i know but wut to do, hehs.... in KMB, they got stereotypes on medic n engine students, hehs... n m proud to be known as an engineering student, hahahahha/// i know zack will surely piss wif ths, but hey thats da reality, engine n medic is sooooooooooooo different =)
gtg, dats da update so far....
chal is still leaving Alhamdulillah
n she'll continue surviving in her Ib life, insha Allah...
m scared of changing but if thats wut it takes to be better, i'll do it...
chal hopes that u manage to see the unseen =)
has been months, i know.... chal is soooo an idle, dunno.. feel so bad to blog, i mean blogging sometimes can be tiring, may be bcoz we gotta put our feeling in it kot, may be not for others but yes for me.... lots of thng happen, not that i wanna share but i just thnk that thnking too much about it is useless, let it be, hehs...
sem 1 has finished, done with it, ALhamdulillah, but spooky how time flies, hehs... i never thought that sem exam can be like spm, evryone study like hell n u can see people moving with books, stay up n etc.... man, i can't live with it, hehs...... unlike them, i was busy with the tickets, yes i incharge on da tickets, hehs... went to Pudu friday n sunday, getting da tickets done, buka counter, call people etc,... n i learnt a lot of thngs throught out my life as welfare bureau n Alhamdulillah, little by little, i manage to eradicate myself from the coll shell n i thank Allah for that =) being a collegian(once a collegian always a collegian rite?), i got so many do's n don't's.. but afta being one of da mpp's i need to leave some of them n i found it difficult at da fst place... if before ths i ignore all da unkown no, i walk straight without gvng glance dekat people, i don't gv a damn on wut happen to coll but now da situation hs changed at least 180dgrees, heeeeeeeeeeeeee....
as welfare bureau, commonly knows as someone u can always rely on, i gotta change myself little by little.... i started to get myself ok wif all da unknown no, normally dealing wif tckets, i started to walk wif at least a smile n now Alhamdulillah, i can deal with boys normally, no more cuak tho their voice sgt lah menakutkan =p... but most important, now i know on how to deal wif diff people n wut u need is patience, yeap i got da passion for all ths while but now m cultvatng patience =) n i thank Allah for giving me the opportunity to improve myself for da better =)
n i love my mpp family =) we are complementing each other, n i found that Allah has been allevaiting my path, my task n my life, Alhamdulillah =) n thanx to my mpp family for always there to lend their hand, special thanks to:
DEEB- for sticking up =)
TAPAH- for helping me out wif ur bernas idea =)
ADRI- for ur presence n for sharing ur xperiences =)
FATS- for coloring my life =)
GOH- for pushing my work to the limit =)
SYED- for being da coolest along ever =)
SYAKIR- for invegilating my work, feel secured =)
FIZREE- for always asking on my progress =)
BESSI- for helping me out wif da announcements =)
JANNAH- for always make me feel nearer to HIm =)
ALIIMRAN- for actvating my creative part =)
FAZMI- for making me feel that life is sooo easy =)
KHAi- for making me realise on my s****** to live in coll shell =)
SAM- for helping me out wif my english =)
n yeah.. thanx guys... hope ths everlast bond will help us through out our journey to accomplish our mission, making global players with malaysian identity =), insha Allah
n i can't deny da fact that sometimes i do feel like flagging, sated n even jaded =( n when ths come, i always wish that i can go to matrix n have fun wif others, ok i know that it soundss so wrong, matrix life is even busier, hehs... dunno... i do miss them, muazzam my KP?? funny yet alim in his own way, the one that always remind me =) PQ, n nasi ekonomi.. =) wawa n his loghat penang, balik evry week =), een n her scandal yg banyak nak mampos =), wanie a KISASian tapi still gila =), bro afiq yg sengal =), k echah, n lots more to mention =))) i love u guys tho we are far far away, do tell me whenever u guys nak buat reunion =)
n i do feel that KMPP is soooo homey.... its nice to be there, duno.. i usually hypnotized whenevr da mak cik use loghat utara in conversation, dunno, may be i usually forget that loghat utara can't just be spoken only at home, hehs.. stupid i know... i miss kmpp..... i was sooo thrifty when i was there, impressive i know but now...... man, chal is getting crazier especially wif da food =))))
afta chatting wif alya, i feel glad n lucky to be in KMB, to be given da opportunity to live in community that encourage me to be good, usrah n cera,ah are compulsary, Alhamdulillah... n for all ths while, i thought coll is a good islamic environment, i thought we've been practising Islam fully in coll but i was soooooooooooooooo wrong... n i find it difficult to adapt wif life here, i wanna be good n i know that i gotta be but i thnk it justttttttt so hard to follow the seniors n i've decided to make it in my own way, m giving myself time for that, n insha Allah.... wearing socks, eating in dulang, kiss dekat cheek n wut more u name it, da thngs that we never did in coll n it just sooo hard n i find that the seniors areeee sooo nice, they don't lawan if da boys shushing n ths makes me sgt lah geram.... but never mind, m adapting wif it =), isnha Allah....
oh, my stats teacher, mr Bada, halau me 2 times from class, stupid n funny i know but wut to do, hehs.... in KMB, they got stereotypes on medic n engine students, hehs... n m proud to be known as an engineering student, hahahahha/// i know zack will surely piss wif ths, but hey thats da reality, engine n medic is sooooooooooooo different =)
gtg, dats da update so far....
chal is still leaving Alhamdulillah
n she'll continue surviving in her Ib life, insha Allah...
m scared of changing but if thats wut it takes to be better, i'll do it...
chal hopes that u manage to see the unseen =)
Saturday, 12 September 2009
and it goes on...
salam...
been a tiring day, slep during the whole journey.... n da day finally came, da day that m scared most... thinking and pondering on a lot of things..... and yeah, i had a nice dinner yesterday with makey, raihan and dym.... thanx for the day...
i miss my matriks life, the days that i was strong on inside but dunno what went wrong, i seem fail to see the unseen especially these few weeks.... and yeah, i keep on pondering and slapping myself to recall on my purpose of existence... the fact that m just an ordinary girl and how hard m trying to maintain my awareness..... and how hard m trying to go through this path, the path that i believe that i am destined to.... and how hard m trying to accept people around me, it's hard.... and i somehow pray that i can fly now, and now and end this journey ASAP but i know one thing when he decided to let me go through something, he knows that m capabled of dwelling upon it... insha allah..
i honestly dislike people to notify and recognize me somehow, but the fact that somehow there are people who believe in my capability especially to persuade people, it's hard especially when it comes to campaign and manifesto.... i definitely need to know people expectations and i definitely pray that i can still be myself without promising crap.... ameen... and i pray that he'll alleviate my path; leadership, academics, dunyah and akhirat... insha allah...
and people, life is hard, definitely and i believe that as long as we manage to see the unseen, we'll surely capable of surviving...
may allah bless u aishah
been a tiring day, slep during the whole journey.... n da day finally came, da day that m scared most... thinking and pondering on a lot of things..... and yeah, i had a nice dinner yesterday with makey, raihan and dym.... thanx for the day...
i miss my matriks life, the days that i was strong on inside but dunno what went wrong, i seem fail to see the unseen especially these few weeks.... and yeah, i keep on pondering and slapping myself to recall on my purpose of existence... the fact that m just an ordinary girl and how hard m trying to maintain my awareness..... and how hard m trying to go through this path, the path that i believe that i am destined to.... and how hard m trying to accept people around me, it's hard.... and i somehow pray that i can fly now, and now and end this journey ASAP but i know one thing when he decided to let me go through something, he knows that m capabled of dwelling upon it... insha allah..
i honestly dislike people to notify and recognize me somehow, but the fact that somehow there are people who believe in my capability especially to persuade people, it's hard especially when it comes to campaign and manifesto.... i definitely need to know people expectations and i definitely pray that i can still be myself without promising crap.... ameen... and i pray that he'll alleviate my path; leadership, academics, dunyah and akhirat... insha allah...
and people, life is hard, definitely and i believe that as long as we manage to see the unseen, we'll surely capable of surviving...
may allah bless u aishah
Saturday, 29 August 2009
speechless
salam....
i seriously touched reading a few people's blogs, dunno da fact that they are all having this one feeling that i used to have.... n i guess it's so true, the fact that everyone is good actually, that is people's fitrah n it depends on us on how to actually manage it... n meeting new friends will definitely lead to meet and have new crush... n i am damn touched to know how hard they try to move on, i mean to forget their crush because of allah and focus.... u know da fact that the toughest jihad is to lawan hawa nafsu and now they are doing it... they are not typical islamic girls, mind u... they are just average girls like us the merbahians, with average islamic background and i am speechless on their awareness.... see how awesomw god works right? to sekolah agama girls, it might be easier for them to move on or may be they never had stupid crush like we had, and therefore i respect those people for having, building and maintaining the awareness.... i might not say this directly but chal hopes that u manage to see the unseen...
now i realise why they say that KMB and IB will change ur life, it's simply because u're getting mature and start to think forward.... nad chal seriously hopes that we will somehow work together to bring back muslims glory, insha allah...
dear god,
guide us to find and walk through the right path, give us strength to focus on our IB and bring back muslims glory... ameen
p/s: thanks to arli and ainun... ur posts manage to awake the giant =)
i seriously touched reading a few people's blogs, dunno da fact that they are all having this one feeling that i used to have.... n i guess it's so true, the fact that everyone is good actually, that is people's fitrah n it depends on us on how to actually manage it... n meeting new friends will definitely lead to meet and have new crush... n i am damn touched to know how hard they try to move on, i mean to forget their crush because of allah and focus.... u know da fact that the toughest jihad is to lawan hawa nafsu and now they are doing it... they are not typical islamic girls, mind u... they are just average girls like us the merbahians, with average islamic background and i am speechless on their awareness.... see how awesomw god works right? to sekolah agama girls, it might be easier for them to move on or may be they never had stupid crush like we had, and therefore i respect those people for having, building and maintaining the awareness.... i might not say this directly but chal hopes that u manage to see the unseen...
now i realise why they say that KMB and IB will change ur life, it's simply because u're getting mature and start to think forward.... nad chal seriously hopes that we will somehow work together to bring back muslims glory, insha allah...
dear god,
guide us to find and walk through the right path, give us strength to focus on our IB and bring back muslims glory... ameen
p/s: thanks to arli and ainun... ur posts manage to awake the giant =)
Sunday, 23 August 2009
orang kita =)
salam...
suppose to write this long time ago but as usual m an idle, hehs..
well, m doing my external CAS at SK bukit tampoi(A), the A represents orang asli definitely..... i felt nervous at first, wonder on their perception and etc, takut definitely but after all, i started to enjoy and understand them, just that i need to be more patience and increase my passion on teaching, it's hard to build up their awareness... i find it hard to teach them ABC and 123... how to make them remember that that is A, i wonder often definitely, hehs..... special credit to my kindergarden teacher who taught me ABC because that rudimentary thingy has helped me damn a lot..... m going there every fortnight and now i know teachers' pressure on preparing hand out etc necause we definitely need to have different activities.... n now i realise that i do have the "creative" blood in me n i definitely need to polish them up, insha allah... and yeah, thank god for everything, truly, u're the creator......
and yeah, i sang in front of the class with my groupmates, "kiss me"... merepek and i definitely dislike it, against my principe but had fun with it lah..... and for malay, we study Malay and drama, man.... need to act..... god, segan nak mampos eventho i know that i can do that... dah lah suddenly need to be a romantic wife, like sengal gell and my classmates were eager to see my facial expressions, wonder why, hehs....
i did my quiz badly, serious.... but i know that i can't be an idle anymore, i'll change, definitely
i am fasting, definitely and forcing myself to hayati ramadhan.... i miss ramadhan in Bukit Merbah, definitely....
i feel like going to overseas right now, Loughborough will surely be my next destination, insha allah... need to wait for 2 years, hopefully i'll be fine....
classes are fine eventho i happened to tak puas hati with a few classmates dulu, never mind, i'll be fine with them....
i seriously miss to talk on politics, been sangat berkarat on current issues, feel bad on that but i definitely is not going to spend my life on that, need some space doh....
been busy with my living, feel bad on that, need to find time for my life later on...
i finally realise that IB is what i am destined to.... feel fun doing that, insha allah...
i seriously hope that we'll be together and i pray that everything will be as planned, ameen
i feel lazy and stupid fb and etc... sorry guys, chal is an idle..... u guys can find me here, hehs
ramadhan al mubarak to everyone, may we manage to maintain and increase our momentum to next ramadhan...
i currently helping Tsla to understand islam better, pray for that
i wonder how people in matriks sahur and berbukan, i miss u guys and the teh o ais...
i miss raihan and dym....
chal hopes that we manage to see the unseen behind ramadhan, may allah bless
suppose to write this long time ago but as usual m an idle, hehs..
well, m doing my external CAS at SK bukit tampoi(A), the A represents orang asli definitely..... i felt nervous at first, wonder on their perception and etc, takut definitely but after all, i started to enjoy and understand them, just that i need to be more patience and increase my passion on teaching, it's hard to build up their awareness... i find it hard to teach them ABC and 123... how to make them remember that that is A, i wonder often definitely, hehs..... special credit to my kindergarden teacher who taught me ABC because that rudimentary thingy has helped me damn a lot..... m going there every fortnight and now i know teachers' pressure on preparing hand out etc necause we definitely need to have different activities.... n now i realise that i do have the "creative" blood in me n i definitely need to polish them up, insha allah... and yeah, thank god for everything, truly, u're the creator......
and yeah, i sang in front of the class with my groupmates, "kiss me"... merepek and i definitely dislike it, against my principe but had fun with it lah..... and for malay, we study Malay and drama, man.... need to act..... god, segan nak mampos eventho i know that i can do that... dah lah suddenly need to be a romantic wife, like sengal gell and my classmates were eager to see my facial expressions, wonder why, hehs....
i did my quiz badly, serious.... but i know that i can't be an idle anymore, i'll change, definitely
i am fasting, definitely and forcing myself to hayati ramadhan.... i miss ramadhan in Bukit Merbah, definitely....
i feel like going to overseas right now, Loughborough will surely be my next destination, insha allah... need to wait for 2 years, hopefully i'll be fine....
classes are fine eventho i happened to tak puas hati with a few classmates dulu, never mind, i'll be fine with them....
i seriously miss to talk on politics, been sangat berkarat on current issues, feel bad on that but i definitely is not going to spend my life on that, need some space doh....
been busy with my living, feel bad on that, need to find time for my life later on...
i finally realise that IB is what i am destined to.... feel fun doing that, insha allah...
i seriously hope that we'll be together and i pray that everything will be as planned, ameen
i feel lazy and stupid fb and etc... sorry guys, chal is an idle..... u guys can find me here, hehs
ramadhan al mubarak to everyone, may we manage to maintain and increase our momentum to next ramadhan...
i currently helping Tsla to understand islam better, pray for that
i wonder how people in matriks sahur and berbukan, i miss u guys and the teh o ais...
i miss raihan and dym....
chal hopes that we manage to see the unseen behind ramadhan, may allah bless
Sunday, 19 July 2009
merbahian n changgangian
salam....
i do miss bukit merbah like hell.... it's too different compared to here, bukit changgang.... da environment especially, which i think it's kinda hard for me to adapt myself to the surrounding....
being merbahians, we were trained to live with pride and seniority.... i was shocked to know that the seniors are all tnice and the seniors even can take the syer for the juniors,i know it's a good thing but i used to think that there must be reasons why they make it that way..... n we were trainedto actually "respect" the seniors... that's the main reason why i becoma staid in front of them but they usually take it the wronng way, they thought that since m a merbahian, m arrogant... what the fudge? we were trained to look at the seniors eyes' and jokes are theirs not ours.... look at them with pleasant and eager face, use polite words and be nice but here.... it's hell different..... seniors are like frens, u need to be friends with... and yeah, i find it difficult to adapt..... i miss seremban...
as merbahians, we were trained to be smart and not polite... i don't think we have the word in our daily dictionary... we act smartly, and we believe that we have equal chance like the boys... and yeah, we argue a lot, we give ideas and etc but it contradicts the nature here where girls are meant to follow the boys... yes, u can give ideas but at the end, it's better tofollow the boys... and as merbahians that are used to cheers, lectures, and etc.... it's a common for us to have rough voice,we are not polite i know... we laugh like hell, we support each other by cheering, we love each other by expressing our feelings but they are all contradict... sangat.... it is quite impossible ti find girls laugh like orang gila except merbahians, and we keep on reminding ourselves that we are now in bukit changgang... and it's kinda hard for uus to be polite, i mean talk softly, smile sweetly, and walk nicely.....
as merbahians, we were trained to speak confidently, we believe that we are smart and we used to talk to the seniors like we are smart, but here others usually take it wrongly.... they usually think that we are cocky, which i believe that we are not... we were trained to be stain in front of the seniors and follow their instructions without any objections....
that is just too little.... but after all, chal knows one thing, THINGS WILL NEVER BE EASIER, U JUST NEED TO BE BETTER!!! it is impossible to turn bukit changgang into bukit merbah, but chal knows that she needs to adapt herself to the environment WITHOUT neglecting and forgetting her identity as merbahian... ellmo is right, u'll only appreciate life as merbahians when u are in somewhere else because there is no other place like bukit merbah, u can't never find one... i do hope that i can go there in august... insha allah....
it's not about putting urself in the world, it's about putting the world in u;IF ONLY U"RE GREAT ENOUGH.....
proud to be a merbahian,
chal
p/s: i think i first have to love this place first...
i do miss bukit merbah like hell.... it's too different compared to here, bukit changgang.... da environment especially, which i think it's kinda hard for me to adapt myself to the surrounding....
being merbahians, we were trained to live with pride and seniority.... i was shocked to know that the seniors are all tnice and the seniors even can take the syer for the juniors,i know it's a good thing but i used to think that there must be reasons why they make it that way..... n we were trainedto actually "respect" the seniors... that's the main reason why i becoma staid in front of them but they usually take it the wronng way, they thought that since m a merbahian, m arrogant... what the fudge? we were trained to look at the seniors eyes' and jokes are theirs not ours.... look at them with pleasant and eager face, use polite words and be nice but here.... it's hell different..... seniors are like frens, u need to be friends with... and yeah, i find it difficult to adapt..... i miss seremban...
as merbahians, we were trained to be smart and not polite... i don't think we have the word in our daily dictionary... we act smartly, and we believe that we have equal chance like the boys... and yeah, we argue a lot, we give ideas and etc but it contradicts the nature here where girls are meant to follow the boys... yes, u can give ideas but at the end, it's better tofollow the boys... and as merbahians that are used to cheers, lectures, and etc.... it's a common for us to have rough voice,we are not polite i know... we laugh like hell, we support each other by cheering, we love each other by expressing our feelings but they are all contradict... sangat.... it is quite impossible ti find girls laugh like orang gila except merbahians, and we keep on reminding ourselves that we are now in bukit changgang... and it's kinda hard for uus to be polite, i mean talk softly, smile sweetly, and walk nicely.....
as merbahians, we were trained to speak confidently, we believe that we are smart and we used to talk to the seniors like we are smart, but here others usually take it wrongly.... they usually think that we are cocky, which i believe that we are not... we were trained to be stain in front of the seniors and follow their instructions without any objections....
that is just too little.... but after all, chal knows one thing, THINGS WILL NEVER BE EASIER, U JUST NEED TO BE BETTER!!! it is impossible to turn bukit changgang into bukit merbah, but chal knows that she needs to adapt herself to the environment WITHOUT neglecting and forgetting her identity as merbahian... ellmo is right, u'll only appreciate life as merbahians when u are in somewhere else because there is no other place like bukit merbah, u can't never find one... i do hope that i can go there in august... insha allah....
it's not about putting urself in the world, it's about putting the world in u;IF ONLY U"RE GREAT ENOUGH.....
proud to be a merbahian,
chal
p/s: i think i first have to love this place first...
Thursday, 16 July 2009
it's da fear of....
salam....
i feel bad for thinking that i am good...
i feel bad to think that i was not cocky but actually i were...
i feel bad for believing that i can change the world eventho the fact that i can't...
i feel bad for having what i have after knowing that that's the main reason why i become a looser...
i feel bad for thinking that i am better than others eventho the fact that i am not...
i feel bad for having the good feeling after all the obstacles...
i feel bad for thinking that i am strong enough eventho the fact that i am sooo not...
i feel bad for having the eagerness to conquer and proove something...
i feel bad for putting these into words....
dear chal,
this is just a beginning... lots more to expect and lots more await u, no need to afraid... live life to the fullest and yeah, he is always there to listen... idyllic is impossible and after all, being a lady will never stop u from becoming somebody, just that u need to know the capability... put aside ur self-esteem, start it all over, u're nothing, remember that... u're nothing n u're nothing... start engraving... and after all, he is there for u to listen... he is near, very near...
thank you for giving me this lesson, after all, u need a slap to wake u up from ur dream....
i know that i have to change, it's a must... perrhaps that he is reminding me to focus and give the best score for my IB... day by day, i started to get further n further from him... thank u for showing me the right pah... u're great... n to u all the praises...
dear god,
i am weak......
i feel bad for thinking that i am good...
i feel bad to think that i was not cocky but actually i were...
i feel bad for believing that i can change the world eventho the fact that i can't...
i feel bad for having what i have after knowing that that's the main reason why i become a looser...
i feel bad for thinking that i am better than others eventho the fact that i am not...
i feel bad for having the good feeling after all the obstacles...
i feel bad for thinking that i am strong enough eventho the fact that i am sooo not...
i feel bad for having the eagerness to conquer and proove something...
i feel bad for putting these into words....
dear chal,
this is just a beginning... lots more to expect and lots more await u, no need to afraid... live life to the fullest and yeah, he is always there to listen... idyllic is impossible and after all, being a lady will never stop u from becoming somebody, just that u need to know the capability... put aside ur self-esteem, start it all over, u're nothing, remember that... u're nothing n u're nothing... start engraving... and after all, he is there for u to listen... he is near, very near...
thank you for giving me this lesson, after all, u need a slap to wake u up from ur dream....
i know that i have to change, it's a must... perrhaps that he is reminding me to focus and give the best score for my IB... day by day, i started to get further n further from him... thank u for showing me the right pah... u're great... n to u all the praises...
dear god,
i am weak......
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
bukit again......
salam.....
has been a while, not exactly in the mood but just feel like putting it out..... in banting now, hell much difeerent compared to bukit merbah, oh here is bukit changgang..... surrounded by kelapa sawit, never had any outing sooo far, kinda lazy, hehs....
life is different, not that easy, in fact i do miss bukit merbah, what more kmpp.... drop the facilities part, no need to mention; it's hell different compared to bukit merbah.... no more ironing room, no more luggage room, pantry, and even towel racks.... lots more too mention but well there must be reasons, may be thousands why he is sending me here, probably to be mmore thankful with what i have..... and people said that bukit changgang is gonna change ur life n i wonder what kind of changes that m gonna face.... hehs
i miss dining halll damn much eventho panas nak mampus........ at least, it's clean, veryyyy clean.... credit to the pakcik n mak cik who mop the floor twice a day using DETTOL..... no wonder we can get A.... now i value ur hardwork n definitely ur pleasant smile.... eventho sometimes mak cik-mak cik do membebel when u ask for more food, hahaha..... somehow, i am thankful to have "dewan selera", yeah, delicious food is not ur main focus, we eat to live and not the other way right? hahaha
it's an islamic territory if i can say, hopefully i can be a better person n this will be the platform for me to prepare myself for the atrocious world.... hopefully... n even for agama, the ayat hafazan is tough, we have to finish kan juz 30, kinda good training especially for my memory.... ustaz is teaching me, can't really predict him so far but hopefully he can answers my questions like ustaz najmi did..... n the nakibahs are all fine, just that in here u need to seek for it, nothing comes easy in life after all, i know....
i think the biggest difference between bukit merbah and bukit changgang is the seniors..... man, i still can't accept that the seniors are fine, i know that i should be thankful but somehow it's scarying me.... we used to live with seniority n u know that u have to respect n u can't be arrogant, u need to be tough n they're not gonna pamper u, u can't merengek-rengek with them n lots more life that we had back in bukit merbah..... but here, it's 270 degrees change.... n i have to admit that i still takut with the seniors..... still takut to gelak when they make jokes n all bcoz i can still remember,"the jokes are ours".... aiyoo... need to live with it....
classes are fine...... being an engineering student, having the boys as the majority is something inevitable but the awkwardness is still there, i sometimes forget their presence and live as in i still in bukit merbah,... reality bites but i hope that i'll get use to it.... zack, bazy, ainzu n i even scared to hear them laughing out loud.... we usually leave the dining hall ASAp when we hear that, pathetic.... i know.... hahaha
IB is not that easy but i know one thing THINGS WILL NEVER BE EASIER I JUST NEED TO BE BETTER.... but the seniors keep on telling us that life here is hectic, but i guess they never had one before.... it's gonna be college life again.... working nad studying at weee hours n atc.... tiring, hectic yet meaningful n enjoyful life is gonna start soon, may be next week n i promise that i'll handle it finely, insha allah...
zack, bazy, dinie presence as merbahians will soehow give me strength to fight, to keep the college flag flying up high eventho it's kinda hard here... it's not just abput making a living, it's about making a life..... it's gonna be important, meaningful, tiring, hectic n challenging life but well i have strong reasons why i hvave to do it..... i guess the palestinians' tears is a good reason for us to study well, ..... n yeah, hopefull, Loughborough will be my next destination..... ameen
"if u think u can; u can, it u think u can't; u're right".....
"do u think that u'll enter paradise while such trial has not come to you as came to those who passed on before you? they were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until messenger and those who believed with him said,"whenis the help of allah?" unquestionably, the help of allah is NEAR".....
after all, what i'll be facing is tooo little but i know one thing, he is always there, for me, anytime, anywhere...... ily=)
has been a while, not exactly in the mood but just feel like putting it out..... in banting now, hell much difeerent compared to bukit merbah, oh here is bukit changgang..... surrounded by kelapa sawit, never had any outing sooo far, kinda lazy, hehs....
life is different, not that easy, in fact i do miss bukit merbah, what more kmpp.... drop the facilities part, no need to mention; it's hell different compared to bukit merbah.... no more ironing room, no more luggage room, pantry, and even towel racks.... lots more too mention but well there must be reasons, may be thousands why he is sending me here, probably to be mmore thankful with what i have..... and people said that bukit changgang is gonna change ur life n i wonder what kind of changes that m gonna face.... hehs
i miss dining halll damn much eventho panas nak mampus........ at least, it's clean, veryyyy clean.... credit to the pakcik n mak cik who mop the floor twice a day using DETTOL..... no wonder we can get A.... now i value ur hardwork n definitely ur pleasant smile.... eventho sometimes mak cik-mak cik do membebel when u ask for more food, hahaha..... somehow, i am thankful to have "dewan selera", yeah, delicious food is not ur main focus, we eat to live and not the other way right? hahaha
it's an islamic territory if i can say, hopefully i can be a better person n this will be the platform for me to prepare myself for the atrocious world.... hopefully... n even for agama, the ayat hafazan is tough, we have to finish kan juz 30, kinda good training especially for my memory.... ustaz is teaching me, can't really predict him so far but hopefully he can answers my questions like ustaz najmi did..... n the nakibahs are all fine, just that in here u need to seek for it, nothing comes easy in life after all, i know....
i think the biggest difference between bukit merbah and bukit changgang is the seniors..... man, i still can't accept that the seniors are fine, i know that i should be thankful but somehow it's scarying me.... we used to live with seniority n u know that u have to respect n u can't be arrogant, u need to be tough n they're not gonna pamper u, u can't merengek-rengek with them n lots more life that we had back in bukit merbah..... but here, it's 270 degrees change.... n i have to admit that i still takut with the seniors..... still takut to gelak when they make jokes n all bcoz i can still remember,"the jokes are ours".... aiyoo... need to live with it....
classes are fine...... being an engineering student, having the boys as the majority is something inevitable but the awkwardness is still there, i sometimes forget their presence and live as in i still in bukit merbah,... reality bites but i hope that i'll get use to it.... zack, bazy, ainzu n i even scared to hear them laughing out loud.... we usually leave the dining hall ASAp when we hear that, pathetic.... i know.... hahaha
IB is not that easy but i know one thing THINGS WILL NEVER BE EASIER I JUST NEED TO BE BETTER.... but the seniors keep on telling us that life here is hectic, but i guess they never had one before.... it's gonna be college life again.... working nad studying at weee hours n atc.... tiring, hectic yet meaningful n enjoyful life is gonna start soon, may be next week n i promise that i'll handle it finely, insha allah...
zack, bazy, dinie presence as merbahians will soehow give me strength to fight, to keep the college flag flying up high eventho it's kinda hard here... it's not just abput making a living, it's about making a life..... it's gonna be important, meaningful, tiring, hectic n challenging life but well i have strong reasons why i hvave to do it..... i guess the palestinians' tears is a good reason for us to study well, ..... n yeah, hopefull, Loughborough will be my next destination..... ameen
"if u think u can; u can, it u think u can't; u're right".....
"do u think that u'll enter paradise while such trial has not come to you as came to those who passed on before you? they were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until messenger and those who believed with him said,"whenis the help of allah?" unquestionably, the help of allah is NEAR".....
after all, what i'll be facing is tooo little but i know one thing, he is always there, for me, anytime, anywhere...... ily=)
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