salam....
i do miss bukit merbah like hell.... it's too different compared to here, bukit changgang.... da environment especially, which i think it's kinda hard for me to adapt myself to the surrounding....
being merbahians, we were trained to live with pride and seniority.... i was shocked to know that the seniors are all tnice and the seniors even can take the syer for the juniors,i know it's a good thing but i used to think that there must be reasons why they make it that way..... n we were trainedto actually "respect" the seniors... that's the main reason why i becoma staid in front of them but they usually take it the wronng way, they thought that since m a merbahian, m arrogant... what the fudge? we were trained to look at the seniors eyes' and jokes are theirs not ours.... look at them with pleasant and eager face, use polite words and be nice but here.... it's hell different..... seniors are like frens, u need to be friends with... and yeah, i find it difficult to adapt..... i miss seremban...
as merbahians, we were trained to be smart and not polite... i don't think we have the word in our daily dictionary... we act smartly, and we believe that we have equal chance like the boys... and yeah, we argue a lot, we give ideas and etc but it contradicts the nature here where girls are meant to follow the boys... yes, u can give ideas but at the end, it's better tofollow the boys... and as merbahians that are used to cheers, lectures, and etc.... it's a common for us to have rough voice,we are not polite i know... we laugh like hell, we support each other by cheering, we love each other by expressing our feelings but they are all contradict... sangat.... it is quite impossible ti find girls laugh like orang gila except merbahians, and we keep on reminding ourselves that we are now in bukit changgang... and it's kinda hard for uus to be polite, i mean talk softly, smile sweetly, and walk nicely.....
as merbahians, we were trained to speak confidently, we believe that we are smart and we used to talk to the seniors like we are smart, but here others usually take it wrongly.... they usually think that we are cocky, which i believe that we are not... we were trained to be stain in front of the seniors and follow their instructions without any objections....
that is just too little.... but after all, chal knows one thing, THINGS WILL NEVER BE EASIER, U JUST NEED TO BE BETTER!!! it is impossible to turn bukit changgang into bukit merbah, but chal knows that she needs to adapt herself to the environment WITHOUT neglecting and forgetting her identity as merbahian... ellmo is right, u'll only appreciate life as merbahians when u are in somewhere else because there is no other place like bukit merbah, u can't never find one... i do hope that i can go there in august... insha allah....
it's not about putting urself in the world, it's about putting the world in u;IF ONLY U"RE GREAT ENOUGH.....
proud to be a merbahian,
chal
p/s: i think i first have to love this place first...
Showing posts with label BT MERBAH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BT MERBAH. Show all posts
Sunday, 19 July 2009
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
bukit again......
salam.....
has been a while, not exactly in the mood but just feel like putting it out..... in banting now, hell much difeerent compared to bukit merbah, oh here is bukit changgang..... surrounded by kelapa sawit, never had any outing sooo far, kinda lazy, hehs....
life is different, not that easy, in fact i do miss bukit merbah, what more kmpp.... drop the facilities part, no need to mention; it's hell different compared to bukit merbah.... no more ironing room, no more luggage room, pantry, and even towel racks.... lots more too mention but well there must be reasons, may be thousands why he is sending me here, probably to be mmore thankful with what i have..... and people said that bukit changgang is gonna change ur life n i wonder what kind of changes that m gonna face.... hehs
i miss dining halll damn much eventho panas nak mampus........ at least, it's clean, veryyyy clean.... credit to the pakcik n mak cik who mop the floor twice a day using DETTOL..... no wonder we can get A.... now i value ur hardwork n definitely ur pleasant smile.... eventho sometimes mak cik-mak cik do membebel when u ask for more food, hahaha..... somehow, i am thankful to have "dewan selera", yeah, delicious food is not ur main focus, we eat to live and not the other way right? hahaha
it's an islamic territory if i can say, hopefully i can be a better person n this will be the platform for me to prepare myself for the atrocious world.... hopefully... n even for agama, the ayat hafazan is tough, we have to finish kan juz 30, kinda good training especially for my memory.... ustaz is teaching me, can't really predict him so far but hopefully he can answers my questions like ustaz najmi did..... n the nakibahs are all fine, just that in here u need to seek for it, nothing comes easy in life after all, i know....
i think the biggest difference between bukit merbah and bukit changgang is the seniors..... man, i still can't accept that the seniors are fine, i know that i should be thankful but somehow it's scarying me.... we used to live with seniority n u know that u have to respect n u can't be arrogant, u need to be tough n they're not gonna pamper u, u can't merengek-rengek with them n lots more life that we had back in bukit merbah..... but here, it's 270 degrees change.... n i have to admit that i still takut with the seniors..... still takut to gelak when they make jokes n all bcoz i can still remember,"the jokes are ours".... aiyoo... need to live with it....
classes are fine...... being an engineering student, having the boys as the majority is something inevitable but the awkwardness is still there, i sometimes forget their presence and live as in i still in bukit merbah,... reality bites but i hope that i'll get use to it.... zack, bazy, ainzu n i even scared to hear them laughing out loud.... we usually leave the dining hall ASAp when we hear that, pathetic.... i know.... hahaha
IB is not that easy but i know one thing THINGS WILL NEVER BE EASIER I JUST NEED TO BE BETTER.... but the seniors keep on telling us that life here is hectic, but i guess they never had one before.... it's gonna be college life again.... working nad studying at weee hours n atc.... tiring, hectic yet meaningful n enjoyful life is gonna start soon, may be next week n i promise that i'll handle it finely, insha allah...
zack, bazy, dinie presence as merbahians will soehow give me strength to fight, to keep the college flag flying up high eventho it's kinda hard here... it's not just abput making a living, it's about making a life..... it's gonna be important, meaningful, tiring, hectic n challenging life but well i have strong reasons why i hvave to do it..... i guess the palestinians' tears is a good reason for us to study well, ..... n yeah, hopefull, Loughborough will be my next destination..... ameen
"if u think u can; u can, it u think u can't; u're right".....
"do u think that u'll enter paradise while such trial has not come to you as came to those who passed on before you? they were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until messenger and those who believed with him said,"whenis the help of allah?" unquestionably, the help of allah is NEAR".....
after all, what i'll be facing is tooo little but i know one thing, he is always there, for me, anytime, anywhere...... ily=)
has been a while, not exactly in the mood but just feel like putting it out..... in banting now, hell much difeerent compared to bukit merbah, oh here is bukit changgang..... surrounded by kelapa sawit, never had any outing sooo far, kinda lazy, hehs....
life is different, not that easy, in fact i do miss bukit merbah, what more kmpp.... drop the facilities part, no need to mention; it's hell different compared to bukit merbah.... no more ironing room, no more luggage room, pantry, and even towel racks.... lots more too mention but well there must be reasons, may be thousands why he is sending me here, probably to be mmore thankful with what i have..... and people said that bukit changgang is gonna change ur life n i wonder what kind of changes that m gonna face.... hehs
i miss dining halll damn much eventho panas nak mampus........ at least, it's clean, veryyyy clean.... credit to the pakcik n mak cik who mop the floor twice a day using DETTOL..... no wonder we can get A.... now i value ur hardwork n definitely ur pleasant smile.... eventho sometimes mak cik-mak cik do membebel when u ask for more food, hahaha..... somehow, i am thankful to have "dewan selera", yeah, delicious food is not ur main focus, we eat to live and not the other way right? hahaha
it's an islamic territory if i can say, hopefully i can be a better person n this will be the platform for me to prepare myself for the atrocious world.... hopefully... n even for agama, the ayat hafazan is tough, we have to finish kan juz 30, kinda good training especially for my memory.... ustaz is teaching me, can't really predict him so far but hopefully he can answers my questions like ustaz najmi did..... n the nakibahs are all fine, just that in here u need to seek for it, nothing comes easy in life after all, i know....
i think the biggest difference between bukit merbah and bukit changgang is the seniors..... man, i still can't accept that the seniors are fine, i know that i should be thankful but somehow it's scarying me.... we used to live with seniority n u know that u have to respect n u can't be arrogant, u need to be tough n they're not gonna pamper u, u can't merengek-rengek with them n lots more life that we had back in bukit merbah..... but here, it's 270 degrees change.... n i have to admit that i still takut with the seniors..... still takut to gelak when they make jokes n all bcoz i can still remember,"the jokes are ours".... aiyoo... need to live with it....
classes are fine...... being an engineering student, having the boys as the majority is something inevitable but the awkwardness is still there, i sometimes forget their presence and live as in i still in bukit merbah,... reality bites but i hope that i'll get use to it.... zack, bazy, ainzu n i even scared to hear them laughing out loud.... we usually leave the dining hall ASAp when we hear that, pathetic.... i know.... hahaha
IB is not that easy but i know one thing THINGS WILL NEVER BE EASIER I JUST NEED TO BE BETTER.... but the seniors keep on telling us that life here is hectic, but i guess they never had one before.... it's gonna be college life again.... working nad studying at weee hours n atc.... tiring, hectic yet meaningful n enjoyful life is gonna start soon, may be next week n i promise that i'll handle it finely, insha allah...
zack, bazy, dinie presence as merbahians will soehow give me strength to fight, to keep the college flag flying up high eventho it's kinda hard here... it's not just abput making a living, it's about making a life..... it's gonna be important, meaningful, tiring, hectic n challenging life but well i have strong reasons why i hvave to do it..... i guess the palestinians' tears is a good reason for us to study well, ..... n yeah, hopefull, Loughborough will be my next destination..... ameen
"if u think u can; u can, it u think u can't; u're right".....
"do u think that u'll enter paradise while such trial has not come to you as came to those who passed on before you? they were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until messenger and those who believed with him said,"whenis the help of allah?" unquestionably, the help of allah is NEAR".....
after all, what i'll be facing is tooo little but i know one thing, he is always there, for me, anytime, anywhere...... ily=)
Friday, 22 May 2009
reality :/
salam....
i shouldn't be in this mood, pathetic i know, but hopefully i manage to put my thoughts into words,... i feel bad these few days, don't know, so many things went wrong and i kinda "tak betul" probably because i can't talk to him, never mind, chal is strong enough, she has too, for islam at least.... insha allah
this post will be on my opinion, the experiences and lessons that i managed to learn even after 2 weeks registeration at kolej matrikulasi pulau pinang. hopefully i manage to put my opinions on PPSMI into words, chal is not good in expressing ideas :p
honestly, i came to KMPP with one main reason, i want to feel the experience of meeting malaysians, true malaysians, majority of malaysians, why? after 5 years in bukit merbah, followed by 2 weeks with exxonmobil comrades, i don't think that i met typical malaysians, i mean the average malaysians because most of merbahians are all clever and same goes to my exxonmobil comrades... so, this golden chance in KMPP, i am using it to get to know malaysians, average malaysians who come from average families, having average academic background, having average confidence to converse in english and etc... it's average, frankly...
honestly, i love the orientation week very much, it's so nice to be put in the islamic territory, yes, it's islamic people.... at first, i was shocked to see a lot of sisters( the facilitators) wearing tudung labuh and all... and same goes to the brothers, when we had solat jemaah, u can see them coming very early, performing the solat sunat and all... honestly... i am touched.. i had the experience of being a fac too and i admit that i failed to be a good one :p and i love my faci as well, sys fairus... congrats sys, u didi it well.... she kept on mentioning about couple and stuffs... honestly, i can't accept why people here keep on mentioning about coupling and all, but after thinking and discussing with my few new friends, i came out with this conclusion, it's the teenagers common problem that usually distract their studies, yes people.. distracting!!! kmpp also has this "say no to couple" campaign.... i love it... and about the facis they are all excellent students with 3.8 pointer and above and they are all future professionals, yes studying engineering, medicine, pharmacists and etc and yet they are all commited to da'wah... subhanallah.... m impressed and touched as well... i'll surely miss this islamic territory very much as i am sure enough that i won't be such territory anymore:/ m still thankful because at least he still give me chance to feel the nikmat to be in such territory, it's nice people, very nice :)
this will be about PPSMI... after two weeks with my new exciting comrades, i finally realise one thing, PPSMI should be demolished, yes people!!! we learned science and maths in english for 5 years and theoritically, we suppose to understand the 2 subjects very well and same goes to our english... but after one week having the kuliah and tutorial with malaysians, i finally realise that PPSMI seem not to reach the target.... my classmates prefer to ask lecturers in bahasa and even i have to explain to them in bahasa... and i pity them for spending time to translate the lessons into bahasa... what a waste.... and these average malaysians seem to refuse to converse in english during the lectures and tutors and even in english class... i pity u guys, we are all victims... i even see that some lecturers have the difficulty to put their ideas in english, at the end, they say it in bahasa and the students can understand it well, very well... and reality bites, yes it is.... PPSMI actually benefits people in SBP, MRSM and other ellite schools and students from ellite families... but sadly, majority malaysians are just the average... at the end, yang dikejar tak dapat yang dikendong berciciran... and therefore mr PM, please abolish PPSMI, i pity my friends like hell... understand us....
i am still waiting for letters from JPA, please tell me where should i go.... i can't stand it anymore, learning bio and all... i had enough... no more bio please... but i thank allah for giving and meeting me with very nice friends, they are my strength to bertahan with the obstacles, hopefully i'll be strong... ameen...... i feel bad for jilting petronas, dunno... m suppose to attend btn tomorrow and fly next month. but reality bites... language is tough and ma can't afford to let me go that fast, i kinda understand but i feel bad, very bad.... after all, petronas scholarship is what i wanted since i was 12... but i hope i'll be ok after i know where jpa is going to put me, and please let me go to uk.... ameen
i feel bad, very bad and therefore i ask allah for the strength, chal is strong, yes strong enough to face the obstacles and therefore allah is testing her, her iman... but alhamdulillah, until now chal manage to see the unseen, behind the obstacles... yes, people.... i pray that u manage to see the unseen too....
i thank everyone who read my posts, i hope that u manage to see the unseen and may u get the benefits from my crap... ameen
p/s: albaqarah 216, let's ponder :)
i shouldn't be in this mood, pathetic i know, but hopefully i manage to put my thoughts into words,... i feel bad these few days, don't know, so many things went wrong and i kinda "tak betul" probably because i can't talk to him, never mind, chal is strong enough, she has too, for islam at least.... insha allah
this post will be on my opinion, the experiences and lessons that i managed to learn even after 2 weeks registeration at kolej matrikulasi pulau pinang. hopefully i manage to put my opinions on PPSMI into words, chal is not good in expressing ideas :p
honestly, i came to KMPP with one main reason, i want to feel the experience of meeting malaysians, true malaysians, majority of malaysians, why? after 5 years in bukit merbah, followed by 2 weeks with exxonmobil comrades, i don't think that i met typical malaysians, i mean the average malaysians because most of merbahians are all clever and same goes to my exxonmobil comrades... so, this golden chance in KMPP, i am using it to get to know malaysians, average malaysians who come from average families, having average academic background, having average confidence to converse in english and etc... it's average, frankly...
honestly, i love the orientation week very much, it's so nice to be put in the islamic territory, yes, it's islamic people.... at first, i was shocked to see a lot of sisters( the facilitators) wearing tudung labuh and all... and same goes to the brothers, when we had solat jemaah, u can see them coming very early, performing the solat sunat and all... honestly... i am touched.. i had the experience of being a fac too and i admit that i failed to be a good one :p and i love my faci as well, sys fairus... congrats sys, u didi it well.... she kept on mentioning about couple and stuffs... honestly, i can't accept why people here keep on mentioning about coupling and all, but after thinking and discussing with my few new friends, i came out with this conclusion, it's the teenagers common problem that usually distract their studies, yes people.. distracting!!! kmpp also has this "say no to couple" campaign.... i love it... and about the facis they are all excellent students with 3.8 pointer and above and they are all future professionals, yes studying engineering, medicine, pharmacists and etc and yet they are all commited to da'wah... subhanallah.... m impressed and touched as well... i'll surely miss this islamic territory very much as i am sure enough that i won't be such territory anymore:/ m still thankful because at least he still give me chance to feel the nikmat to be in such territory, it's nice people, very nice :)
this will be about PPSMI... after two weeks with my new exciting comrades, i finally realise one thing, PPSMI should be demolished, yes people!!! we learned science and maths in english for 5 years and theoritically, we suppose to understand the 2 subjects very well and same goes to our english... but after one week having the kuliah and tutorial with malaysians, i finally realise that PPSMI seem not to reach the target.... my classmates prefer to ask lecturers in bahasa and even i have to explain to them in bahasa... and i pity them for spending time to translate the lessons into bahasa... what a waste.... and these average malaysians seem to refuse to converse in english during the lectures and tutors and even in english class... i pity u guys, we are all victims... i even see that some lecturers have the difficulty to put their ideas in english, at the end, they say it in bahasa and the students can understand it well, very well... and reality bites, yes it is.... PPSMI actually benefits people in SBP, MRSM and other ellite schools and students from ellite families... but sadly, majority malaysians are just the average... at the end, yang dikejar tak dapat yang dikendong berciciran... and therefore mr PM, please abolish PPSMI, i pity my friends like hell... understand us....
i am still waiting for letters from JPA, please tell me where should i go.... i can't stand it anymore, learning bio and all... i had enough... no more bio please... but i thank allah for giving and meeting me with very nice friends, they are my strength to bertahan with the obstacles, hopefully i'll be strong... ameen...... i feel bad for jilting petronas, dunno... m suppose to attend btn tomorrow and fly next month. but reality bites... language is tough and ma can't afford to let me go that fast, i kinda understand but i feel bad, very bad.... after all, petronas scholarship is what i wanted since i was 12... but i hope i'll be ok after i know where jpa is going to put me, and please let me go to uk.... ameen
i feel bad, very bad and therefore i ask allah for the strength, chal is strong, yes strong enough to face the obstacles and therefore allah is testing her, her iman... but alhamdulillah, until now chal manage to see the unseen, behind the obstacles... yes, people.... i pray that u manage to see the unseen too....
i thank everyone who read my posts, i hope that u manage to see the unseen and may u get the benefits from my crap... ameen
p/s: albaqarah 216, let's ponder :)
Friday, 1 May 2009
do i need to be a cikgu???
salam...
wanted to write about this long time ago but chal is an idle, hehs.... this will be my special post about my interview with moe in april, if tak silap, long time ago.... honestly, i dislike the interview, bored tahap giga, asking me about co curricular activities, both in malay and english..... talking about the interview, i love mine with exxon very much.... but my kebosanan terubat when we had the interview in BM, in smaller group, they were 3 of us with one panel.. oh, i was the only girl there, hoping to be cikgu fizik, hahaha.... at first, it was on aktiviti kokurikulum lah until suddenly this man asked me a question, it managed to jagakan my mata yang dah start mengantuk, :p
en x: betul ke awak nak jadi cikgu? awak budak TKC kan?
chal: ye, en... saya memang nak jadi cikgu.......(bohong sunat, at first!!!)
en x: awak tak malu ke nak jadi cikgu? sepanjang saya jadi cikgu sampai saya jadi pensyarah,
saya tak pernah jumpa budak TKC jadi cikgu, tak malu ke? bukan budak TKC hebat-hebat ke? mana layak jadi cikgu?
i was like, apahal kau but i smiled lah, senyum plastik, nak kena kau, nanti aku smash kang :p
en x: saya budak VI, tahu VI?
chal: ohhh?
en x: semua orang tahu kan? VI hebat, lepas jadi cikgu 10 tahun tak jumpa kawan, malu jadi cikgu, orang lain kerja hebat-hebat, saya cikgu jer, awak nak malu macam saya? kalau awak jadi cikgu, apa yang awak nak cakap pasal TKC? nanti senior awak cakap apa?
i was baran lah but well soon after that i like him, seriously..... and here goes my answer, not exactly lah....
saya merasakan profession perguruan perlu menjadi pilihan semua orang, saya tidak pernah memandang sebagai profession kelas kedua kerana tugas ini perlu dipikul oleh mereka yang benar-benar ikhlas untuk mendidik, saya sebenarnya mengimpikan dan akan berusaha untuk menjadi guru-guru seperti kalangan warga MPSI yang bukan sahaja mendidik malahan meniup semangat nasionalisme dan saya merasakan profession perguruan perlu dipandang tinggi seperti mana yang berlaku dalam tamadun china dan sebagainya. saya tidak pernah membataskan pekerjaan saya sebagai guru semata-mata, saya sangat mengagumi allahyarham dato' razali ismail, beliau berjaya meniup kembali semangat rakan-rakan saya yang telah luntur dalam kunjungan beliau ke sekolah kami..... bla...bla...
n the session went smoothly, i love to talk to such people, u're a man en x, i admire ur spirit because u had somehow manage to goyahkan my stand, manage to hasut me to be a cikgu but well, i'll be an enginner, i become an engineer for reasons, my dreams and my hopes....
but hopefully i get JPA scholarship... ameen, i can't never be a cikgu, the tugas, amanah dan tanggungjawab yang dipikul terlampau berat, if i am a teacher, i will have the pressure to procuce students like me, seriously...... eventho i won't limit myself as cikgu semata-mata, but the pressure to produce good students is there, not just good in academics but also behaviour and spiritual, i want students to have very high self-esteem, full of epathy, and yet clever. but it's not easy and therefore i pray for jpa. but i can't deny that i'll be a lecturer in future. it's so nice to have prof in front of ur name, hehs...... i respect teachers who manage to educate and not only teach, thank you to my teachers:
add maths
staid en ahmad for helping me out, and sabar with my pranks, sorry to fool u
altruism pn azizah- i'll remember ur hardwork and love, may allah alleviate ur way
special thanks to my tuition teacher that always full with adrenaline, cikgu latiff, u're the true teacher, thnax for inspiring, i'll remember ur calculus book n hope i can master it one day
physics
genius en anuar ahmad for feeding my curious mind, i love ur coolness to rebut my hujah, ur simplicity . sorry to fool u especially with "selebet" and all
caring pn nafisah- sorry for everything, "awak boleh buat cuma ketatkan screw otak awak jer", haha... i love the words cikgu
chemistry
pn hawa- i am sooooo sorry for sleeping in da class but i love to hear ur stories about ur anak-anak, abg safwan and kak sarah, eventho it just a trick untuk tak belajar, "berjaya jugak awak, dulu nakal nih", hahaha... thank u cikgu for halalkan those ilmu eventho i slept in da class
pn suhaila- i luv u cikgu, thank u very much for helping me to understand chem eventho it was kinda late, i started to enjoy chem bila blajar dengan cikgu, u make it simple :p
biology
enthusiam pn raudhah- thank u for inspiring, i love u eventho takut dengan ur class.... hope u'll be successful
mr tan- i love u sir, i love ur altruism, thank u for all ur videos, u helped me a lot with bio, i even hoped to be a doc once... suke gile ur class, i enjoyed it very much... n i admire ur knowledge and curiosity, u never fail to answer my quest... love yah
maths
pn suhaila- sorry for "cikgu, kita take 5" hahaha... and it's not only 5, often until 30... haha but at least tak seteruk nisa who slept all da way during da class
mr lau- sorry for sleeping eventho i promised not to sleep after u caught me sleeping while u were teaching matrices in class, couldn't avoid lah sir, i am sure u are always in good health, sir kan minum oat everyday? hehs
bahasa melayu
pn azizah- thank u cikgu, selalu ingat ur story pasal ur arwah anak, u're sooo motherly, thank u for always understand our situation and always tak tak kecil hati with us, love u
english
pn nora- i love u pn nora, seriously!!! eventho it took us 3 weeks to finish sonnet 18 and 2 weeks to finish si tenggang, i still remember all da lessons and honestly, i remember it untill now
miss chelvee- u educated us n not tought, but i enjoyed ur class, eventho we spent 3 weeks listening to ur reading on alexander the great and th pearl, i still remember ur tears, sorry for escaping ur class, postponed yet tak pernah hantar ur homework but one thing for sure, u taught me about life, yes, life!!!!
sejarah
en salleh- thank u for all ur stories on politics and all ur doa that usually full of blasphomy and euphemism."mangkuk, hamlau" n all, u name it... hahaha... thank u for being soooo understanding
pn yusma- 4 years with her, thank u, luv yah... still couldn't forget during one class when only 3 of us still alive, yang lain semua dah drift to heaven:p
agama
us najmi- luv u ustaz, thank u for ur candid answer on all my questions, ustaz memang cool habis.... sorry for always "lencongkan" ustaz, hahaha... " nanti lepas awak baca buku apa-apa, pastikan awak tanya ustaz pasal kepastian, saya takut dengan awak nih"... hahaha insha allah ustaz... hopefully i can be good
they are my teachers, banyak lagi of course but they are the people who coloured my senior life in merbah, love u guys.... moga dunia dan akhirat menjadi mudah bagi kita, ameen
1) i had interview with petronas but i will opt it if i get
2) i will jilt exxon soon, chal is still sane, :p
3) i got interview with bank negara but i am not going, chal wanna be an engineer and not ecconomist
4) i am going to kolej matrikulasi pulau pinang for a while, hopefully... my dream since i was 12
5) i got diploma kejuruteraan aeronautik in utm but sadly, i can't.....
all in all, i thank allah for everything, thank u for all the prayers... don't scold chal because chal usuall do something logically :p
advance happy teachers' day to all tecahers, sayang anda
p/s: chal will be a pelarian soon, yes... lari dari realiti :p
wanted to write about this long time ago but chal is an idle, hehs.... this will be my special post about my interview with moe in april, if tak silap, long time ago.... honestly, i dislike the interview, bored tahap giga, asking me about co curricular activities, both in malay and english..... talking about the interview, i love mine with exxon very much.... but my kebosanan terubat when we had the interview in BM, in smaller group, they were 3 of us with one panel.. oh, i was the only girl there, hoping to be cikgu fizik, hahaha.... at first, it was on aktiviti kokurikulum lah until suddenly this man asked me a question, it managed to jagakan my mata yang dah start mengantuk, :p
en x: betul ke awak nak jadi cikgu? awak budak TKC kan?
chal: ye, en... saya memang nak jadi cikgu.......(bohong sunat, at first!!!)
en x: awak tak malu ke nak jadi cikgu? sepanjang saya jadi cikgu sampai saya jadi pensyarah,
saya tak pernah jumpa budak TKC jadi cikgu, tak malu ke? bukan budak TKC hebat-hebat ke? mana layak jadi cikgu?
i was like, apahal kau but i smiled lah, senyum plastik, nak kena kau, nanti aku smash kang :p
en x: saya budak VI, tahu VI?
chal: ohhh?
en x: semua orang tahu kan? VI hebat, lepas jadi cikgu 10 tahun tak jumpa kawan, malu jadi cikgu, orang lain kerja hebat-hebat, saya cikgu jer, awak nak malu macam saya? kalau awak jadi cikgu, apa yang awak nak cakap pasal TKC? nanti senior awak cakap apa?
i was baran lah but well soon after that i like him, seriously..... and here goes my answer, not exactly lah....
saya merasakan profession perguruan perlu menjadi pilihan semua orang, saya tidak pernah memandang sebagai profession kelas kedua kerana tugas ini perlu dipikul oleh mereka yang benar-benar ikhlas untuk mendidik, saya sebenarnya mengimpikan dan akan berusaha untuk menjadi guru-guru seperti kalangan warga MPSI yang bukan sahaja mendidik malahan meniup semangat nasionalisme dan saya merasakan profession perguruan perlu dipandang tinggi seperti mana yang berlaku dalam tamadun china dan sebagainya. saya tidak pernah membataskan pekerjaan saya sebagai guru semata-mata, saya sangat mengagumi allahyarham dato' razali ismail, beliau berjaya meniup kembali semangat rakan-rakan saya yang telah luntur dalam kunjungan beliau ke sekolah kami..... bla...bla...
n the session went smoothly, i love to talk to such people, u're a man en x, i admire ur spirit because u had somehow manage to goyahkan my stand, manage to hasut me to be a cikgu but well, i'll be an enginner, i become an engineer for reasons, my dreams and my hopes....
but hopefully i get JPA scholarship... ameen, i can't never be a cikgu, the tugas, amanah dan tanggungjawab yang dipikul terlampau berat, if i am a teacher, i will have the pressure to procuce students like me, seriously...... eventho i won't limit myself as cikgu semata-mata, but the pressure to produce good students is there, not just good in academics but also behaviour and spiritual, i want students to have very high self-esteem, full of epathy, and yet clever. but it's not easy and therefore i pray for jpa. but i can't deny that i'll be a lecturer in future. it's so nice to have prof in front of ur name, hehs...... i respect teachers who manage to educate and not only teach, thank you to my teachers:
add maths
staid en ahmad for helping me out, and sabar with my pranks, sorry to fool u
altruism pn azizah- i'll remember ur hardwork and love, may allah alleviate ur way
special thanks to my tuition teacher that always full with adrenaline, cikgu latiff, u're the true teacher, thnax for inspiring, i'll remember ur calculus book n hope i can master it one day
physics
genius en anuar ahmad for feeding my curious mind, i love ur coolness to rebut my hujah, ur simplicity . sorry to fool u especially with "selebet" and all
caring pn nafisah- sorry for everything, "awak boleh buat cuma ketatkan screw otak awak jer", haha... i love the words cikgu
chemistry
pn hawa- i am sooooo sorry for sleeping in da class but i love to hear ur stories about ur anak-anak, abg safwan and kak sarah, eventho it just a trick untuk tak belajar, "berjaya jugak awak, dulu nakal nih", hahaha... thank u cikgu for halalkan those ilmu eventho i slept in da class
pn suhaila- i luv u cikgu, thank u very much for helping me to understand chem eventho it was kinda late, i started to enjoy chem bila blajar dengan cikgu, u make it simple :p
biology
enthusiam pn raudhah- thank u for inspiring, i love u eventho takut dengan ur class.... hope u'll be successful
mr tan- i love u sir, i love ur altruism, thank u for all ur videos, u helped me a lot with bio, i even hoped to be a doc once... suke gile ur class, i enjoyed it very much... n i admire ur knowledge and curiosity, u never fail to answer my quest... love yah
maths
pn suhaila- sorry for "cikgu, kita take 5" hahaha... and it's not only 5, often until 30... haha but at least tak seteruk nisa who slept all da way during da class
mr lau- sorry for sleeping eventho i promised not to sleep after u caught me sleeping while u were teaching matrices in class, couldn't avoid lah sir, i am sure u are always in good health, sir kan minum oat everyday? hehs
bahasa melayu
pn azizah- thank u cikgu, selalu ingat ur story pasal ur arwah anak, u're sooo motherly, thank u for always understand our situation and always tak tak kecil hati with us, love u
english
pn nora- i love u pn nora, seriously!!! eventho it took us 3 weeks to finish sonnet 18 and 2 weeks to finish si tenggang, i still remember all da lessons and honestly, i remember it untill now
miss chelvee- u educated us n not tought, but i enjoyed ur class, eventho we spent 3 weeks listening to ur reading on alexander the great and th pearl, i still remember ur tears, sorry for escaping ur class, postponed yet tak pernah hantar ur homework but one thing for sure, u taught me about life, yes, life!!!!
sejarah
en salleh- thank u for all ur stories on politics and all ur doa that usually full of blasphomy and euphemism."mangkuk, hamlau" n all, u name it... hahaha... thank u for being soooo understanding
pn yusma- 4 years with her, thank u, luv yah... still couldn't forget during one class when only 3 of us still alive, yang lain semua dah drift to heaven:p
agama
us najmi- luv u ustaz, thank u for ur candid answer on all my questions, ustaz memang cool habis.... sorry for always "lencongkan" ustaz, hahaha... " nanti lepas awak baca buku apa-apa, pastikan awak tanya ustaz pasal kepastian, saya takut dengan awak nih"... hahaha insha allah ustaz... hopefully i can be good
they are my teachers, banyak lagi of course but they are the people who coloured my senior life in merbah, love u guys.... moga dunia dan akhirat menjadi mudah bagi kita, ameen
1) i had interview with petronas but i will opt it if i get
2) i will jilt exxon soon, chal is still sane, :p
3) i got interview with bank negara but i am not going, chal wanna be an engineer and not ecconomist
4) i am going to kolej matrikulasi pulau pinang for a while, hopefully... my dream since i was 12
5) i got diploma kejuruteraan aeronautik in utm but sadly, i can't.....
all in all, i thank allah for everything, thank u for all the prayers... don't scold chal because chal usuall do something logically :p
advance happy teachers' day to all tecahers, sayang anda
p/s: chal will be a pelarian soon, yes... lari dari realiti :p
Sunday, 5 April 2009
istiqamah
salam...
m supposed to write something about nocturnal but this istiqamah thingy came out when i was on my way to n25 bukit selambau yesterday, was listening to this ceramah about istiqamah, this ustaz advised everyone to istiqamah with iman, the ustaz said when people asked u who created this universe, definitely we'll say allah right? but what if people ask u who created allah? what are u gonna say? i bet this question always come accross ur mind, this ustas suggested to answer this question by telling this ayat, m not sure but somathing istiqamah and whenever that question come accross ur mind, say lailahaillallah quickly and he saud the lafaz lailahaillah has to be renewed everyday, yes it is. and i just knew that if u happen to "tertelan" something while solat, u have to sujud sahwi, i just knew it, poor chal, humph :/
i believe that as merbahian we are trained to be istiqamah with our amalan just it depends on the individual, hay!!! i had been reading yaasin every friday's night since 13 n same goes to ceramah and lots more that we had even the prep time but the problem with merbahians this istiqamah thingy don't work when we approach our seniors life why? because we don't do domething sincerely, it doesn't come from our heart, i bet u this is the real reason and therefore i believe that in order for us to educate people it must come from our hearts, then only we can be istiqamaah as not every people realise the purpose of living and life, u wonder why why people keep on doing sin without feeling any guilt? u wonder why people keep on breaking rules even though their actions might harm them and the fact that they come from very good family? u can extrapolate the answer on ur own, no guesswork, trust me!!! as for me i don't do something because of the do's and the don'ts.... i pray because i don't see the purpose of not praying, i wear hijab because i don't see the purpose of letting people see my hair, i didn't break school rules during my life back in bukit merbah because i didn't see the purpose of doing it, seriously.. they said that it's for fun, fun? is that the purpose of urliving not ur life, but wait!!!! is that the only purpose of living? enjoy urself? while people in afghanistan, palestin, lebanon are suffering, starving for food, searching and working just to get something for food? is that it? man, that's cruel and atrocious! god forbid!!! think people, life is not about urself, u're living with lots more people in this world, do something people, live with others, i don't ask u to mourn and be sad, staid nad stern all the time, hay! islam is not that atrocious, mind me!!!! m sure u know how to play ur roles, do something for allah and for the ummah, u will be successful, insha allah....
this living and life thingy came after i read ustaz pahrol's article on hidup and kehidupan, his question on isteri itu teman hidup atau kehidupan keep on hitting my mind and i started to like it, i told raihan and semaa' about this and raihan loves this, she agrees and we manage to see the unseen, alhamdulillah!!! see jan, there are something that only we both understand this,... ustaz pahrol is so great... he said that kita membuat amal bukan untuk persediaan mati tapi persediaan hidup selepas mati and kita tak sewajarnya takut akan kematian tetapi takut akan kehidupan selepas mati, if m not mistaken lah...... so far, haven't found his blog but u can read his column in ANIS, never miss it.... if u're the life searcher, he is soooo a good mind readerlah.....
ponder it friends, istiqamah with all ur good deeds, know ur purpose of existence, hope u manage to see the unseen :)
m supposed to write something about nocturnal but this istiqamah thingy came out when i was on my way to n25 bukit selambau yesterday, was listening to this ceramah about istiqamah, this ustaz advised everyone to istiqamah with iman, the ustaz said when people asked u who created this universe, definitely we'll say allah right? but what if people ask u who created allah? what are u gonna say? i bet this question always come accross ur mind, this ustas suggested to answer this question by telling this ayat, m not sure but somathing istiqamah and whenever that question come accross ur mind, say lailahaillallah quickly and he saud the lafaz lailahaillah has to be renewed everyday, yes it is. and i just knew that if u happen to "tertelan" something while solat, u have to sujud sahwi, i just knew it, poor chal, humph :/
i believe that as merbahian we are trained to be istiqamah with our amalan just it depends on the individual, hay!!! i had been reading yaasin every friday's night since 13 n same goes to ceramah and lots more that we had even the prep time but the problem with merbahians this istiqamah thingy don't work when we approach our seniors life why? because we don't do domething sincerely, it doesn't come from our heart, i bet u this is the real reason and therefore i believe that in order for us to educate people it must come from our hearts, then only we can be istiqamaah as not every people realise the purpose of living and life, u wonder why why people keep on doing sin without feeling any guilt? u wonder why people keep on breaking rules even though their actions might harm them and the fact that they come from very good family? u can extrapolate the answer on ur own, no guesswork, trust me!!! as for me i don't do something because of the do's and the don'ts.... i pray because i don't see the purpose of not praying, i wear hijab because i don't see the purpose of letting people see my hair, i didn't break school rules during my life back in bukit merbah because i didn't see the purpose of doing it, seriously.. they said that it's for fun, fun? is that the purpose of urliving not ur life, but wait!!!! is that the only purpose of living? enjoy urself? while people in afghanistan, palestin, lebanon are suffering, starving for food, searching and working just to get something for food? is that it? man, that's cruel and atrocious! god forbid!!! think people, life is not about urself, u're living with lots more people in this world, do something people, live with others, i don't ask u to mourn and be sad, staid nad stern all the time, hay! islam is not that atrocious, mind me!!!! m sure u know how to play ur roles, do something for allah and for the ummah, u will be successful, insha allah....
this living and life thingy came after i read ustaz pahrol's article on hidup and kehidupan, his question on isteri itu teman hidup atau kehidupan keep on hitting my mind and i started to like it, i told raihan and semaa' about this and raihan loves this, she agrees and we manage to see the unseen, alhamdulillah!!! see jan, there are something that only we both understand this,... ustaz pahrol is so great... he said that kita membuat amal bukan untuk persediaan mati tapi persediaan hidup selepas mati and kita tak sewajarnya takut akan kematian tetapi takut akan kehidupan selepas mati, if m not mistaken lah...... so far, haven't found his blog but u can read his column in ANIS, never miss it.... if u're the life searcher, he is soooo a good mind readerlah.....
ponder it friends, istiqamah with all ur good deeds, know ur purpose of existence, hope u manage to see the unseen :)
Monday, 30 March 2009
mereka :)
salam...
i hate to be in this abominable mood, god... help me!!!!
and well i miss my chums, my comrades and mates.... i know that i seldom say this and i even hate to reminisce all the memories but i think i need to say a few words, anda diingati dan dirindui... may allah allocate time for us to meet and talk, just talk....
shuhada-my mak cik
the only person who knows that i just need a listener not an advisor, miss our mid-nite talk, hahaha... i talked a lot, seriously.. the one who will just listen to my crap and now i suffer for not having her around, i need to talk mak cik, may allah render u with rahmah and patience... ameen
raihan- my comrade
the one that i care and love because of allah, we never had fight and i thank him because of that, the one that i can say it all-out, advises me, helps me, appreciates me, i love the honesty and the bond that we have, since we were 14, love u till jannah, hope we still have time to talk and advise each other...may allah also render u with good health, i know u're strong, insha allah..ameen
semaa'-my chum
the one that i always argue, hahaha... i miss the time that we had, we share dreams, hopes, ambitions and lots more.... u make me realise that life is not about u and i, it's about me,... i love ur determination, i admire it very much, u make me strong, seriously!!!may we can achieve our dreams and hopes, the person that keeps me aware and stronger to pursue my dreams, the one who knows why i choose to be an engineer, the one that i hope i can go to muslims country and overcome poverty, philantropists, insha allah....
dym-my buddy
the one that i can talk to, i don't know about our similarities but i believe that we share something in common, wonder is that... the one that knows my dreams and hopes to study abroad, the precise reason... the one that i show my "other" self, hope we both will succeed, ameen.... hope to meet u in front of kaabah, one day....
they are them, we were not close but we know that we are there for each other, i pray that allah will help us with our future, may we are the people who are going to bring back muslims glory... ameen
to my otherm mates, thank you for teaching and giving me lessons in life, directly or indirectly, thank you for everything, sorry to vex u, but i appreciate ur presence, i pray that allah will render all of us with rahmah and fullfill our doas that we "niatkan" because of him.... ameen
anda diingati... my GLADIATORS:)
truly,
chal
i hate to be in this abominable mood, god... help me!!!!
and well i miss my chums, my comrades and mates.... i know that i seldom say this and i even hate to reminisce all the memories but i think i need to say a few words, anda diingati dan dirindui... may allah allocate time for us to meet and talk, just talk....
shuhada-my mak cik
the only person who knows that i just need a listener not an advisor, miss our mid-nite talk, hahaha... i talked a lot, seriously.. the one who will just listen to my crap and now i suffer for not having her around, i need to talk mak cik, may allah render u with rahmah and patience... ameen
raihan- my comrade
the one that i care and love because of allah, we never had fight and i thank him because of that, the one that i can say it all-out, advises me, helps me, appreciates me, i love the honesty and the bond that we have, since we were 14, love u till jannah, hope we still have time to talk and advise each other...may allah also render u with good health, i know u're strong, insha allah..ameen
semaa'-my chum
the one that i always argue, hahaha... i miss the time that we had, we share dreams, hopes, ambitions and lots more.... u make me realise that life is not about u and i, it's about me,... i love ur determination, i admire it very much, u make me strong, seriously!!!may we can achieve our dreams and hopes, the person that keeps me aware and stronger to pursue my dreams, the one who knows why i choose to be an engineer, the one that i hope i can go to muslims country and overcome poverty, philantropists, insha allah....
dym-my buddy
the one that i can talk to, i don't know about our similarities but i believe that we share something in common, wonder is that... the one that knows my dreams and hopes to study abroad, the precise reason... the one that i show my "other" self, hope we both will succeed, ameen.... hope to meet u in front of kaabah, one day....
they are them, we were not close but we know that we are there for each other, i pray that allah will help us with our future, may we are the people who are going to bring back muslims glory... ameen
to my otherm mates, thank you for teaching and giving me lessons in life, directly or indirectly, thank you for everything, sorry to vex u, but i appreciate ur presence, i pray that allah will render all of us with rahmah and fullfill our doas that we "niatkan" because of him.... ameen
anda diingati... my GLADIATORS:)
truly,
chal
Monday, 9 March 2009
disgruntled
salam...
that's what i feel right now, betul ke chal?(told u that i never know how to describe my feelings)..
so many things came across my mind, adoiiii, :/ hard to describe but this time, yes, it's about future but no more engineering and medic, but it's about marriage, politics and bla..bla..bla...
drop the marriage part(m not gonna tell u now, hish under 18, hahaha)...i am not blaming my school and my friends, not the fate too, but i think it's the mentality, collegians even though we wish and work to be different from others, to put ourselves head and shoulders above others, we work and believe that we are up to the notch but the reality bites, i don't know, may be it's our capability as women(to bee =>) don't know, hard to explain but i think only the collegians understand it kot, the fact that we won't be the future leaders if we keep on behaving like who we were back in the college, i don't know, after 5 years there, seriously i didn't see too much differences between us and the outsiders, don't know, we are actually like them just that kita "perasan bagus" and our ability to do multiple tasks in one time, sorry guys, reality bites, i am telling u the truth, and if we want to talk about "pride", i don't think that we really care like the old collegians used to, i don't know something went wrong and may be we should blame the admin too, to talk about pride, i miss my juniors time when we really care about it, it's actually following the syariah just that since collegians are mostly liberal, we don't take it from da islamic side, don't know.... i think it had turn 360 now, too different, everything as for me i care about pride and stuffs, it's not that we are "kerek" , vain, arrogant or any words yang sewaktu dengannya, just that as muslimah, there are things that u need to really practise and care, islam has bringing us the light but we choose to keep on being in the dark, who to blame?, wait, i don't want to babble on this matter, i am still dangkal, daaa
the environment in merbah is different, if y want to see the young leaders in political arena, i think u can go koleq or other schools, haaa, this is my point today actually, adoiii chal, menyimpang sungguh!!! ok, i think this is because we girls kot, wait, don't get me wrong. well, being and living in the comfort zone, we were drifted to our own world when we think that we are "good", sorry guys, that's the fact. if i need to compare us with the outsiders, they are somehow better than us,(yang berguna jugaklah). we were busy condemning others, yelling them these and those, saying and "kerek" to things yang entah apa-apa until one stage when we are outside the college and mix around with new people that came from various schools, then only we realise our weaknesses, haaa, that's the thing. we were trained to handle multiple tasks at one time, and i think that this gives us the credit but remember guys knowledge and experience should come together, u should juxtapose them, i see this in malays too, sorry but i believe that i can actually see the future of malaysia by just looking at the teenagers and collegians, why because we are among the precious assets that the country has, but may be our "naluri keremajaan"( i use this term because it can helps u to iamgine the teenagers conflicts), drifting us to dream, keep on dreaming while others are in the reality, the real atrocious world. i don't wanna blame us because we are girls but my dearie, we can actually be whoever we wanna be, the future is ours if believe that it is, the world is ours if u know that it is but whatever it is, behave well and follow the syariah,(insha allah, i'll write a post about merbahians yang dah "idiocy"), that's all.. be realistic because i know we can survive, we are survivors, oh NO!!! we are GLADIATORS, standing tough, (but u need to move people).. all the best dearies, may Allah render us rahmat
to all gladiators, selamat pulang ke gagang on thursday, hope to see most of u, i am going tomorrow and hoping to meet makey on wednesday, banyak benda yang i have to tell u semaa', we can change the world, i know we can. redha dengan our result, don't look back, don't regret if u've done ur best but allah didn't give u what u really wanted open ur tafsir and search for sural al-baqarah ayat 216, u'll be greatly fine, i'll make a post on my "advise" cum bebel to all my dearie after the result, we'll see see what i am gonna write, hahaha... welcome to th adulthood, to the real world, may allah bless 140 of us and the altruism teachers
rahmat ALLAH bersama kita :)
chal
that's what i feel right now, betul ke chal?(told u that i never know how to describe my feelings)..
so many things came across my mind, adoiiii, :/ hard to describe but this time, yes, it's about future but no more engineering and medic, but it's about marriage, politics and bla..bla..bla...
drop the marriage part(m not gonna tell u now, hish under 18, hahaha)...i am not blaming my school and my friends, not the fate too, but i think it's the mentality, collegians even though we wish and work to be different from others, to put ourselves head and shoulders above others, we work and believe that we are up to the notch but the reality bites, i don't know, may be it's our capability as women(to bee =>) don't know, hard to explain but i think only the collegians understand it kot, the fact that we won't be the future leaders if we keep on behaving like who we were back in the college, i don't know, after 5 years there, seriously i didn't see too much differences between us and the outsiders, don't know, we are actually like them just that kita "perasan bagus" and our ability to do multiple tasks in one time, sorry guys, reality bites, i am telling u the truth, and if we want to talk about "pride", i don't think that we really care like the old collegians used to, i don't know something went wrong and may be we should blame the admin too, to talk about pride, i miss my juniors time when we really care about it, it's actually following the syariah just that since collegians are mostly liberal, we don't take it from da islamic side, don't know.... i think it had turn 360 now, too different, everything as for me i care about pride and stuffs, it's not that we are "kerek" , vain, arrogant or any words yang sewaktu dengannya, just that as muslimah, there are things that u need to really practise and care, islam has bringing us the light but we choose to keep on being in the dark, who to blame?, wait, i don't want to babble on this matter, i am still dangkal, daaa
the environment in merbah is different, if y want to see the young leaders in political arena, i think u can go koleq or other schools, haaa, this is my point today actually, adoiii chal, menyimpang sungguh!!! ok, i think this is because we girls kot, wait, don't get me wrong. well, being and living in the comfort zone, we were drifted to our own world when we think that we are "good", sorry guys, that's the fact. if i need to compare us with the outsiders, they are somehow better than us,(yang berguna jugaklah). we were busy condemning others, yelling them these and those, saying and "kerek" to things yang entah apa-apa until one stage when we are outside the college and mix around with new people that came from various schools, then only we realise our weaknesses, haaa, that's the thing. we were trained to handle multiple tasks at one time, and i think that this gives us the credit but remember guys knowledge and experience should come together, u should juxtapose them, i see this in malays too, sorry but i believe that i can actually see the future of malaysia by just looking at the teenagers and collegians, why because we are among the precious assets that the country has, but may be our "naluri keremajaan"( i use this term because it can helps u to iamgine the teenagers conflicts), drifting us to dream, keep on dreaming while others are in the reality, the real atrocious world. i don't wanna blame us because we are girls but my dearie, we can actually be whoever we wanna be, the future is ours if believe that it is, the world is ours if u know that it is but whatever it is, behave well and follow the syariah,(insha allah, i'll write a post about merbahians yang dah "idiocy"), that's all.. be realistic because i know we can survive, we are survivors, oh NO!!! we are GLADIATORS, standing tough, (but u need to move people).. all the best dearies, may Allah render us rahmat
to all gladiators, selamat pulang ke gagang on thursday, hope to see most of u, i am going tomorrow and hoping to meet makey on wednesday, banyak benda yang i have to tell u semaa', we can change the world, i know we can. redha dengan our result, don't look back, don't regret if u've done ur best but allah didn't give u what u really wanted open ur tafsir and search for sural al-baqarah ayat 216, u'll be greatly fine, i'll make a post on my "advise" cum bebel to all my dearie after the result, we'll see see what i am gonna write, hahaha... welcome to th adulthood, to the real world, may allah bless 140 of us and the altruism teachers
rahmat ALLAH bersama kita :)
chal
Thursday, 5 March 2009
dizzy...
salam..
so many things that need to be shared but i am sad because i can't make it in BM, adoi... i just can't pull it out, so just a draft, never mind, i hope i can write a post in BM, it's da real BM, 100% BM... insha allah
nuryn and najie wrote(or may be mail) utusan a letter regarding the PPSMI thingy, obviously they are into it lah, support of course but i am sorry, i am proudly said that i oppose PPSMI, don't worry i am not jumud or mentaklik buta, i have my own stand and i did write an article about this thingy just that i malas to share it with others but if one day i think i have too, then I'll do it. as for me, i am learning from the past, from Turkey, from tulisan jawi and all. there are so many things that u can learn, i am not saying that those who are agree with PPSMI, do not read and learn from the past, NO!!! just that from what i read, none of the articles manage to even "goyahkan" my stand, i am sorry... but congrats to najie and nuryn for having the guts to mail utusan, even i myself are scared of posting and mailing something...
result is gonna be out on 12(people said)... it means it has been almost 4 months i am indulging myself, living in the comfort zone and all. i keep on asking what have i done for the past months, seriously, i still have 8 juz to khatam, 22 juz to understand, i didn't master my tajwid yet, didn't finish the misconceptions about Islam, out of the tempurung, the future of freedom and the doctrine of Muhammad in the bible, god!!!! banyaknya, i have to complete all these before the result is out, that's my target, impossible? i know i can do it, but i never regret with it? for all these holiday, i praise and thank Allah for giving me this time, when i used to "mantapkan" my faith on Islam, even though i can't came out with hadis and ayat Quran when talking about an issue but at least now i can bersyahadah dengan yakin bahawa sememangnya muhammad itu pesuruh Allah dan hanya Allah tuhan yang aku sembah, why is it important for me? because as I've mentioned in my previous posts, i don't wanna be a muslim because i was born as a muslim, if we can see how the sahabats' love towards Rasulullah, it is amazing, everyone knows about Abu Bakar and his story during their hijrah to Madinah, i am touched with his love, they are men but how can he loves Rasulullah and they are not gay? it's simply because of the love, love because of Allah, it's ukhuwahfillah, subhanaalh, i admire that. and if we still remember sumayyah's story, bilal and all, do u touched with their story? how they are willing to live in pain just because of Allah, this is what i am searching for, it's the believe, which is hard, very hard to get. if before this i am wearing tudung because i have to wear tudung, now alhamdulilah, i am wearing tudung because i want to wear, i believe in Allah and nobody can argue on it. i believe that most of the problems happen on this earth because of the believe, when the obstacles come and knock the door, how many of u s believe that it comes from Allah and Allah knows that u can handle it? how many of us know taht the answers for this are stated in Quran? how many of us prefer to look at the Quran to release our stress and find the strength? Allah keep on saying in the Quran, Allah tidak akan membebani manusia melebihi kesanggupannya,( i forget to count how many of them), yeap this is the sentence that we should remember, this is what i wish i can remember when i feel like giving up in my uni life, i always wonder what makes muhammad al-fateh strong? what makes him different and what makes him successful to conquer Constantinapole? even though he failed for the first time but he keep on trying and preparing for the best and at the end, alhamdulillah, i can't imagine how much his believe towards Allah, this is what i gained so far and i keep on searching and therefore i never had the regret for spending my time like this, even though i don't have the money( i am not working, doh!), even though i didn't have my driving licence yet(for car), and even though i failed to read all the facts on war and revolutions, i am not regret at all, at least now i am proud to be a muslim, thank you Allah for giving me this kesedaran, i believe that this is one kind of "hidayah" too... at least if i manage to live in next 50 years and my grandson ask me what did i do after my SPM, i can tell him all these without shame at all, yes, i am proud to be a muslim. i am telling you that it is amazing to read the translation, to read the experience how people get hidayah and all, it's amazing!!! i thank allah for all these things as i know that i will never have it again, thank you to DIA yang memahami dan dia yang tidak pernah menghampakan, i love Islam even though not as much as Rasulullah did, as i i know that it's growing,.... thank you to for meeting me with the right people, i don't know how did they know me but seriously, i am touched reading all the mails and messages even in the facebook, so who said that facebook is lagha? u can choose people!!!
i don't know what is happening with politics and all, lazy to think of it, i believe that this has something to do with the believe too, wake up people!!! i wonder why people is crazy about wealth and i just can't believe that wealth, money and women can actually drift u away from ur fitrah, away from Allah, think about it people, something need to be done to stop all this manipulations, bribe and all...
i read this blog, a 23 years old mother-to-be, ex-KISAS, i was touched when she wrote that around two months before her SPM, her ustazah called her and told her somebody wanted to marry her. don't get the wrong picture, i am impressed with the boy, 23 years old too, a very matured boy i believe, i never think of it before SPM, instead of coupling like others, he choose to marry this girl and the decision came before SPM, how ready and strong he is to hold the responsibility, this is what people that have the strong believe in Allah will do, but they got married when they were 21 lah, but i want u to understand his situation and his believe in Allah, seriously, even though i oppose early marriage especially if u're still students but i give exception for this case, i respect u brother, subhanaalah, thanx for giving me values and lessons to learn, ily because of Allah
i wish that i can write a post about kawan, sahabat and etc, sorry zafer, instead of mailing u, it's better to write apost je, senang, laterlah if i have the mood...
i seriously putting my future on Allah, something is wrong with the admission, adoiii, but never mind Allah knows better, if i can't go for it, i'll never forget G6, u're among the amazing friends that i have, too precious to describe, even though we met only for a few days, but i love the bonds that we have, may all of us will be successful... ameen
dym is having her exam and interview in this week, ganbatte ne, i pray for the best to u, if u can't make it, just believe that allah knows that japan is not good for u, he knows it better...
sorry to admit but i don't feel like meeting my friends, raihan is right, i just wanna meet a few. sorry guys, i wonder why i don't really miss u guys, same goes to the debate club, i am sorry, i believe that u don't need my help, i think my college life is a mistake, don't know, seriously, it's a mistake but i know he knows it better, it's a mistake but i learn a lot lessons that i can't never get if i don't go there, ukhuwah fillah...
lots of thing that need to be ponder in order for us TO SEE THE UNSEEN, if u're muslims, i urge u to read the translation and u'll get to see the unseen and if u're not muslims, try to get the translation and i believe that u can see the unseen,
may ALLAH bless all of us.... ameen
p/s: ignore all the errors even for my previous posts, malas to correct, sorry
so many things that need to be shared but i am sad because i can't make it in BM, adoi... i just can't pull it out, so just a draft, never mind, i hope i can write a post in BM, it's da real BM, 100% BM... insha allah
nuryn and najie wrote(or may be mail) utusan a letter regarding the PPSMI thingy, obviously they are into it lah, support of course but i am sorry, i am proudly said that i oppose PPSMI, don't worry i am not jumud or mentaklik buta, i have my own stand and i did write an article about this thingy just that i malas to share it with others but if one day i think i have too, then I'll do it. as for me, i am learning from the past, from Turkey, from tulisan jawi and all. there are so many things that u can learn, i am not saying that those who are agree with PPSMI, do not read and learn from the past, NO!!! just that from what i read, none of the articles manage to even "goyahkan" my stand, i am sorry... but congrats to najie and nuryn for having the guts to mail utusan, even i myself are scared of posting and mailing something...
result is gonna be out on 12(people said)... it means it has been almost 4 months i am indulging myself, living in the comfort zone and all. i keep on asking what have i done for the past months, seriously, i still have 8 juz to khatam, 22 juz to understand, i didn't master my tajwid yet, didn't finish the misconceptions about Islam, out of the tempurung, the future of freedom and the doctrine of Muhammad in the bible, god!!!! banyaknya, i have to complete all these before the result is out, that's my target, impossible? i know i can do it, but i never regret with it? for all these holiday, i praise and thank Allah for giving me this time, when i used to "mantapkan" my faith on Islam, even though i can't came out with hadis and ayat Quran when talking about an issue but at least now i can bersyahadah dengan yakin bahawa sememangnya muhammad itu pesuruh Allah dan hanya Allah tuhan yang aku sembah, why is it important for me? because as I've mentioned in my previous posts, i don't wanna be a muslim because i was born as a muslim, if we can see how the sahabats' love towards Rasulullah, it is amazing, everyone knows about Abu Bakar and his story during their hijrah to Madinah, i am touched with his love, they are men but how can he loves Rasulullah and they are not gay? it's simply because of the love, love because of Allah, it's ukhuwahfillah, subhanaalh, i admire that. and if we still remember sumayyah's story, bilal and all, do u touched with their story? how they are willing to live in pain just because of Allah, this is what i am searching for, it's the believe, which is hard, very hard to get. if before this i am wearing tudung because i have to wear tudung, now alhamdulilah, i am wearing tudung because i want to wear, i believe in Allah and nobody can argue on it. i believe that most of the problems happen on this earth because of the believe, when the obstacles come and knock the door, how many of u s believe that it comes from Allah and Allah knows that u can handle it? how many of us know taht the answers for this are stated in Quran? how many of us prefer to look at the Quran to release our stress and find the strength? Allah keep on saying in the Quran, Allah tidak akan membebani manusia melebihi kesanggupannya,( i forget to count how many of them), yeap this is the sentence that we should remember, this is what i wish i can remember when i feel like giving up in my uni life, i always wonder what makes muhammad al-fateh strong? what makes him different and what makes him successful to conquer Constantinapole? even though he failed for the first time but he keep on trying and preparing for the best and at the end, alhamdulillah, i can't imagine how much his believe towards Allah, this is what i gained so far and i keep on searching and therefore i never had the regret for spending my time like this, even though i don't have the money( i am not working, doh!), even though i didn't have my driving licence yet(for car), and even though i failed to read all the facts on war and revolutions, i am not regret at all, at least now i am proud to be a muslim, thank you Allah for giving me this kesedaran, i believe that this is one kind of "hidayah" too... at least if i manage to live in next 50 years and my grandson ask me what did i do after my SPM, i can tell him all these without shame at all, yes, i am proud to be a muslim. i am telling you that it is amazing to read the translation, to read the experience how people get hidayah and all, it's amazing!!! i thank allah for all these things as i know that i will never have it again, thank you to DIA yang memahami dan dia yang tidak pernah menghampakan, i love Islam even though not as much as Rasulullah did, as i i know that it's growing,.... thank you to for meeting me with the right people, i don't know how did they know me but seriously, i am touched reading all the mails and messages even in the facebook, so who said that facebook is lagha? u can choose people!!!
i don't know what is happening with politics and all, lazy to think of it, i believe that this has something to do with the believe too, wake up people!!! i wonder why people is crazy about wealth and i just can't believe that wealth, money and women can actually drift u away from ur fitrah, away from Allah, think about it people, something need to be done to stop all this manipulations, bribe and all...
i read this blog, a 23 years old mother-to-be, ex-KISAS, i was touched when she wrote that around two months before her SPM, her ustazah called her and told her somebody wanted to marry her. don't get the wrong picture, i am impressed with the boy, 23 years old too, a very matured boy i believe, i never think of it before SPM, instead of coupling like others, he choose to marry this girl and the decision came before SPM, how ready and strong he is to hold the responsibility, this is what people that have the strong believe in Allah will do, but they got married when they were 21 lah, but i want u to understand his situation and his believe in Allah, seriously, even though i oppose early marriage especially if u're still students but i give exception for this case, i respect u brother, subhanaalah, thanx for giving me values and lessons to learn, ily because of Allah
i wish that i can write a post about kawan, sahabat and etc, sorry zafer, instead of mailing u, it's better to write apost je, senang, laterlah if i have the mood...
i seriously putting my future on Allah, something is wrong with the admission, adoiii, but never mind Allah knows better, if i can't go for it, i'll never forget G6, u're among the amazing friends that i have, too precious to describe, even though we met only for a few days, but i love the bonds that we have, may all of us will be successful... ameen
dym is having her exam and interview in this week, ganbatte ne, i pray for the best to u, if u can't make it, just believe that allah knows that japan is not good for u, he knows it better...
sorry to admit but i don't feel like meeting my friends, raihan is right, i just wanna meet a few. sorry guys, i wonder why i don't really miss u guys, same goes to the debate club, i am sorry, i believe that u don't need my help, i think my college life is a mistake, don't know, seriously, it's a mistake but i know he knows it better, it's a mistake but i learn a lot lessons that i can't never get if i don't go there, ukhuwah fillah...
lots of thing that need to be ponder in order for us TO SEE THE UNSEEN, if u're muslims, i urge u to read the translation and u'll get to see the unseen and if u're not muslims, try to get the translation and i believe that u can see the unseen,
may ALLAH bless all of us.... ameen
p/s: ignore all the errors even for my previous posts, malas to correct, sorry
Sunday, 1 March 2009
result, future
Vegetoz-Kuatkan AkuOh Tuhan
kuatkan aku
Untuk lalui jalan hidup ini
Yang ku inginkan selalu
ada dalam ridhoMu
Berikanlah petunjukMu
Agar diriku tak tersesat
Untuk menuju surga
yang telah Kau janjikan
Ampunkan diriku
jikaSelama ini
hanyalah berbuat dosa
Tak sanggup diriku
bilaDi akhir hidupku
menanggung siksaMu
Aku hambamu yang lemah,
tak sempurna
Berlutut sujud dihadapMu
salam...
it's march, just can't believe, so many things that need to be done and da resultwill be out on 12, so many things that need to be read, 10 more juz' to read and 24 more to understand, i haven't finish the future of freedom and out of the tempurung, same goes to miscanception about islam and the doctrine of muhammad in bible, adoiiii!!! don't know what have i done but seriously i don't have any regret for spending my precious time like what i am doing, at least i understand life better and yeah, it helps me preparing myself for the atrocious world, don't know....
it's hard talikng about future, it's even harder to talk about ur capabilities, it's hard.. i know and i believe that i can survive, i mean dicampakkan ke any path, just that the different is either i have to struggle or not lah, but then i believe that i am somebody on this earth and i believe that allah created me for reasons and allah believes that i can do something to make this world a better place, that's what i believe, and because of that i am preparing myself to except for the worst, yeah. i can't do engineering(aeronautics specifically), i can't go overseas(study there lah, daa), and i can't go to matriks, ya allaah, god forbid but sometimes itulah pengajaran terbesar in you seperti mana penjara boleh menjadi sekolah terbaik bagi manusia, but seriously, living in this world, we can't never run from people's expectation, budak tkc study kat malaysia? and all those stupid questions, well... welcome to the adulthood chal, be matured chal, be prepared chal, life is not that easy chal and most important chal, he knows it better...
i know that he knows me better and diri ini telah aku wakafkan ke jalanmu, one thing for sure i'll work hard no matter where i am, insha allah
yes chal, he knows it BETTER=)
p/s: it's 4th Rabiulawwal, i am 18, da same age that salahuddin was when conquering palestine, hang conquer apa aishah?)...... errrr????
kuatkan aku
Untuk lalui jalan hidup ini
Yang ku inginkan selalu
ada dalam ridhoMu
Berikanlah petunjukMu
Agar diriku tak tersesat
Untuk menuju surga
yang telah Kau janjikan
Ampunkan diriku
jikaSelama ini
hanyalah berbuat dosa
Tak sanggup diriku
bilaDi akhir hidupku
menanggung siksaMu
Aku hambamu yang lemah,
tak sempurna
Berlutut sujud dihadapMu
salam...
it's march, just can't believe, so many things that need to be done and da resultwill be out on 12, so many things that need to be read, 10 more juz' to read and 24 more to understand, i haven't finish the future of freedom and out of the tempurung, same goes to miscanception about islam and the doctrine of muhammad in bible, adoiiii!!! don't know what have i done but seriously i don't have any regret for spending my precious time like what i am doing, at least i understand life better and yeah, it helps me preparing myself for the atrocious world, don't know....
it's hard talikng about future, it's even harder to talk about ur capabilities, it's hard.. i know and i believe that i can survive, i mean dicampakkan ke any path, just that the different is either i have to struggle or not lah, but then i believe that i am somebody on this earth and i believe that allah created me for reasons and allah believes that i can do something to make this world a better place, that's what i believe, and because of that i am preparing myself to except for the worst, yeah. i can't do engineering(aeronautics specifically), i can't go overseas(study there lah, daa), and i can't go to matriks, ya allaah, god forbid but sometimes itulah pengajaran terbesar in you seperti mana penjara boleh menjadi sekolah terbaik bagi manusia, but seriously, living in this world, we can't never run from people's expectation, budak tkc study kat malaysia? and all those stupid questions, well... welcome to the adulthood chal, be matured chal, be prepared chal, life is not that easy chal and most important chal, he knows it better...
i know that he knows me better and diri ini telah aku wakafkan ke jalanmu, one thing for sure i'll work hard no matter where i am, insha allah
yes chal, he knows it BETTER=)
p/s: it's 4th Rabiulawwal, i am 18, da same age that salahuddin was when conquering palestine, hang conquer apa aishah?)...... errrr????
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