SALJ!

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah..

 

I am writing this to myself and you. It's been months since I last write. That reflects how drain I am, perhaps.

 

It's been snowing for 5 days, since Friday. It stops for a while. I walk on the snow while some are still falling. I look out the window from my room, and that tiny little drops mesmerize me. Snow is not the reason why i am here. really! That contributes to why I wasn't that exciting since my first snow. But when that little drops keep on coming, I strongly believe that Allah is teaching me something. something that i try to find even until now.

For the first few days of snow, I keep on thinking on what do I learn from the snow. i gotta walk to university. It's slippery. It makes the journey even harder. I was whispering through out my journey, Allah is teaching that no matter how atrocious life is, life goes on. I have to go on. I have to keep on moving. Regardless of the unfavourable weather, the cold, the slippery pathways. LIFE GOES ON!

My stance was changed on Friday. I got out early in the morning for group discussion. Striving to be there as early as possible but 20 minutes late. the discussion wasn't that satisfactory. I was about to pack my stuffs and leave for the Friday prayer. It's been months since i last sit down properly, listening to the khatib. My group mate told me that classes are cancelled. I was smirking. Thinking and pondering. I walked into the prayer hall, listened to the khatib. I felt tranquil. khutbah ended and I knew that the tough journey home started. Allah! the snow was heavy, I walked full hearted. The traffic was terrible, and for the first time in my life here, I saw traffic jam from university to home. Everyone was looking at  me weirdly. Very few people walked in the snow because people don't walk in heavy snow!. The snow was thick. I keep on walking. tired! slippery! as I moved, my mind kept thinking.  I never thought that university and city would be paralysed just because of snow. It is tiny. But they are not. Seeing that little drop, I wouldn't expect that little drop when unite could drive human paralysed! serious. I kept walking. It is surprising that finally human admitted their weaknesses and surrender the nature. and I wonder, if people can follow nature, why can't they surrender to the creator of nature?

"akhirnya manusia tunduk kepada alam,

mari tunduk kepada Tuhan pencipta alam"

people started posting pictures on facebook. I got annoyed may be. some started sharing this verse.

"Have you not seen how God drives along the clouds, then joins them together, then makes them into a stack, and then you see the rain come out of it? And He sends down from the sky mountain masses (of clouds) with cold hail in them, striking with it anyone He wills and averting it from anyone He wills. The brightness of His lightning almost blinds the sight."
(The Qur'an, 24:43)

alhamdulillah, people realised that the snow is from Allah. no, I'm not going to repeat what others have said. i just want to highlight " striking with it anyone He wills and averting it from anyone He wills"

Going through the verse again and again, Allah allows me to ponder. He lets the snow strike me with His wills. That is a true reminder! it is His wills for me to witness snow. It is His wills that keeps me living. It His wills that makes me who i am today. And with His wills, to Him i should return.

That's the biggest lesson i learn from MR. Salj. Amazing how that little drop is actually from His wills, and even mesmerize when every tiny little drop that i see is in His accordance.

thank you Allah for the biggest, beautiful lesson. i know that You want me to keep in remembering You through Sunshine and snow, come thunder and strong wind.

from You i came, to You i shall return, and may You give me strength to live in the present for You...

ya Allah,

may every little whitey drop that You are sending, improve my iman and make me closer to You and be among the believers.

sungguh. tiada daya dan upaya kita selain dari Allah.

p/s: aishah hopes you see the unseen

 

p/s/s: iman itu licin macam salji tak?

J I N A K

assalamualaikum warahmatullah..

i thought i am concious and aware with my surroundings, what more myself! but when my good friend said to me, "kita telah dijinakkan"! i paused! and i reflect! and i was speechless. indeed i am! indeed we are!!!

Tekad (A Tribute to Izzatul Islam)

Album : Ini Langkahku
Munsyid : Shoutul Harokah
http://liriknasyid.com

Kami sadari jalan ini kan penuh onak dan duri
Aral menghadang dan kezhaliman yang akan kami hadapi
Kami relakan jua serahkan dengan tekad di hati
Jasad ini, darah ini sepenuh ridho Illahi

Kami adalah panah-panah terbujur
Yang siap dilepaskan dari busur
Tuju sasaran, siapapun pemanahnya

Kami adalah pedang-pedang terhunus
Yang siap terayun menebas musuh
Tiada peduli siapapun pemegangnya
Asalkan ikhlas di hati tuk hanya ridho Illahi Robbi...

Kami adalah tombak-tombak berjajar
Yang siap di lontarkan dan menghujam
Menembus dada, lantakkan keangkuhan

Kami adalah butir-butir peluru
Yang siap ditembakkan dan melaju
Dan mengoyak, menumbang kezhaliman
Asalkan ikhlas di hati tuk jumpa wajah Illahi Rabbi...

Kami adalah mata pena yang tajam
Yang siap menuliskan kebenaran
Tanpa ragu ungkapkan keadilan

Kami pisau belati yang slalu tajam
Bak kesabaran yang tak pernah padam
Tuk arungi da'wah ini jalan panjang
Asalkan ikhlas di hati menuju jannah Illahi Robbi... 

 

i remember the first time i heard this song. i cried terribly. and i can't afford to sing. it was during mukhayam. and through out the mukhayam, i ask Allah for the strength, i pray that i can sing this song from the bottom of my heart. and i did. and the moment was priceless. and the song was actually my promise to Allah. our promise actually. did u all remember that?

 

and now, from the bottom of my heart, i would like to ask myself and u my siblings,

 

what is happening to all the panah-panah yang terbujur yang  siap dilepaskan dari busur?

what is happening to all the pedang-pedang terhunus Yang siap terayun menebas musuh?

what is happening to all the  tombak-tombak berjajar Yang siap di lontarkan dan menghujam?

 

moga Allah mengampunkan kita atas segala tindakan, himmah serta cita-cita kita untuk syahid pada masa kita bersama-sama dahulu andai dasarnya adalah atas semangat semata-mata dan bukannya iman.

 

i am saying this to myself and u that i love because of Allah,

 

at times, we complain that we have problems with Allah, our iman is sickening, ukhuwaah problem here and there. and we all believe that the root of all the problem is iman, but i wonder, what have we done to work for our iman? amal is the product of iman. we are busy thinking and realising that we don't contribute much to da'wah, but i wonder, what have we contribute to our relationship with Allah? if we really care about our iman, we will take extreme care on our mutabaah. i am asking myself and u that i love, when was the last time we have our tahajjud, when was the last time we fast? when was the last time we recite istighfar?how's our tilawah? how's our hafazan? people will fight for their iman, for them to complete their mutabahh because they know that is the rope that tie them to Allah. i feel with me and us, for the fact that we are lousy. 

 

it's about time to get serious with Islam. we are 21 sisters, we are not young anymore. we've been playing here and there, it's time to get back to jihad and da'wah. if we have been jinak for all this while, let's istighfar and be back. yes! be back.

 

jemaah is just something to help us. tarbiyyah should make us better, we are tigers sisters! we are not kijang!!! we have lots of potential, let them out, ummah needs them! 

 

i am saying this to me and myself! it's either we move together with da'wah or da'wah will leave us. stop giving excuses, if we do, let's pray that Allah will accept our excuses. we are not kids! we are rijal! we've been in tarbiyyah for quite sometimes, and yet we behave like we have never been. 

 

may Allah forgive us for our ignorance, for our childishness, for our stupidity. it's never too late sisters, NEVER!!!

 

p/s: aishah hopes u see the unseen.

grant us syahid ya Allah

salam...

the only thing in my mind is syahid, m not kidding and the lifeline mission definitely.... i don't know either m right or not but i believe the only thing in the activist heart is syahid... they have work so hard, risking themselves, sacrificing their time, their loved ones and if they do these for the sake of humanity or human rights, my logic can't accept it.... there must be one super strong reason that motivate them to continue doing it tho they know that they might die.... and i believe it's because of Allah!!! what a powerful niat they have? i remember ths verses:

"wahai manusia! sesungguhnya kamu telah bekerja keras menuju Tuhanmu, maka kamu akan menemuiNya" (84:6)

"wahai jiwa yang tenang! kembalilah kepada Tuhanmu dengan hati yang rida dan diridaiNya. maka masuklah ke dalam golongan hamba-hambaKu. dan masuklah ke dalam syurgaKu"
(89:27-30)

the verses comfort people, how Allah knows that they are doing and working because of Allah and i belive that Allah welcomes them most. m not praying that they are dieng but if that what they are all working for and that is what Allah want to grant them, why not? it's so nice to meet Allah dalam keadaan syahid...

i envy them indeed,m serious... i keep on asking myself, why didn't Allah choose me to be in Flotilla? why didn't Allah choose me to be with them? why didn't Allah choose me to syahid like the 19 lucky blessful people? and it makes me realise on my amalan towards Him, my sincerity towards Him, my love and trust towards Him.... yeap.... m so far, far, far away.... i know that Rasulullah and sahabat trust and love towards Allac is too far-fetched, but the people in Flotilla are people like me, we are living in the same era.... m so jealous with the liddle kiddy, how luck u are to be given the chance while u are still young.. very.... u are so lucky, all the people in Flotilla coz out of billion people in the world, Allad had chose u to be His ansorullah, u guys must be great till Allah grant u such opportunity...

i know that there are millions of thing to improve on especially my amalan towards Him, how could Allah grant me such opportunity if i still dare to think on dunyah, indulge myself with unnecessary things... true they said that if we want to know who Allah in our heart, we have to check back our solat... if we manage to think only on Him and khusyuk in solat, then we know that Allah is in our heart..... i have to admit that m still far...

i know that this is not the only field to syahid, 9:122.... but i don't know, somehow i believe that i belong to this field, i know that i have limitations what more thinking that m a girl but i just wanna be in this field... i do know that dakwah is equally important.. and perhaps most of my friends are now thinking on how to spread His words effectively and progressively.... tonnes of thing to think on...

m a bit emotional, sorry but still Aishah hopes that u manage to see the unseen :)

they are at heart....

salam...

there's one thing that keep on bothering me this one week, yes the Palestine people.... i keep on asking myself, what do they want from me and other Muslims? hearing that the lifeline4gaza is reaching the border but enduring a lot of difficulties especially the attack from Israel slap me most of the time, how fortunate they are to risk themselves, how i wish i could be one, one day, insha Allah.... and often i feel useless most of the time for just being an observer, i keep on asking myself, what should i do, tak kanlah nak doa je? is that all that i could, cakap syabab, that full of energy, and now i feel like a stupid useless @@@@@.... and 9:122 comforts me most ofthe time when i have to endure with this internal conflict...

"dan tidak sepatutnya orang-orang mukmin itu semaunya pergi (ke medan perang). mengapa sebahagian dari setiap golongan di antara mereka tidak pergi untuk memperdalam pengetahuan agama mereka dan untuk memberi peringatan kepada kaumnya apabila mereka telah kembali agar mereka dapat menjaga dirinya"
(9:122)

true, so true... while our concern brave brothers are risking their life for sending the food, medicine etc we shouldn't just pray, we have to do sth that equal to what our brothers are doing if we claim that we are Muslims... yes, understand Islam better and spread His words, educate our fellow brothers and sisters so that they know Islam better, develop their awareness and concern towards others Muslims coz we are all brothers and sisters...

dear people....
m reminding myself as well, we have a lot of work to be done... we don't have any more time to indulge ourselves with unnecesary things, there are lots more thing to work on other than our own personal feelings, lets develop the awareness, lets bring back the glory of Islam coz we'll be questionned on our deeds in the Hereafter.... lets be individu Muslim, Islam doesn't need us but we need Islam as our ad-dden... Islam is the solution for all the chaos, bring back Islam, bring back Islam, bring back Islam.....

"wahai orang yang berselimut! bangunlah, lalu berilah peringatan! dan agungkanlah Tuhanmu, dan bersihkanlah pakaianmu, dan tinggalkanlah segala yang keji"
(74:1-5)

aishah hopes that u manage to see the unseen

BM

salam...

it doesn't stand for bahasa melayu,but yes it stands for baitul muslim.... no i'm not saying that i'm gonna say hi to this stage no, it's not the time yet...

for all this while i've been wondering why do people get married coz i just can't understand why, may for the girls they people to protect, easy for them to travel etc... we were having a 10minutes kuliah last week and i accidentally asked the naqibah this question, i know that coolsem shouldn't discuss this topic and i was speechless for her answer.. for a daie, dua't, they choose to get married when dakwah requires them to get married, and they do that for the sake of the continuity of dakwah itself besides the dakwah itself that later will require us to educate people about baitul muslim... ya Allah, this is the answer that i've been looking for coz i just don't understand before this...

if we fall in love with people because he has done a lot of good deeds for us, what's the different between our love and pets love towards the owner?

tonnes of thing to ponder upon now, chal now realise her purpose of life, u? hope to write sth about my POI later on, insha Allah...

hope that u manage to see the unseen

it's INTERNAL BRAVERY

salam....

m borrowing choki's term for IB, hahaha... i found it precise, seriously.... for now, i thank allah because i am still capable of breathing and posting new post, lucky me....

classes are fine, homework, lab reports n etc... maths is interesting, physics is stunnning, chem is challenging, engish is fine, malay is enjoyable and econs is definitely fun... so far so good... i somehow thank college for creating such a hectic environment as this has helped me a lot so far to survive, well... nothing comes easy in life right?

some started to say that IB is tough and the seniors will definitely agree with it, and they keep on reminding us on that, mind you.... but i believe that we actually handle the situation, it's ourself who choose and decide either that particular condition is tough or not... i believe that tough, hard and busy is abstract, i in fact ask the seniors once, how busy is busy? and how hard is hard? and he said that it's tough because u have lots of work that need to be done at one time and it's busy also because of it... and i asked him back do u still have time to leisure urself and have fun with ur friends? and he said yes.... daa, see it's his mindset and it's his believe, that makes it tough and hectic....

well, this is definitely bragging but hopefully this will be a reminder to me and others and a wake up call to me and others who still wallowup in self pity... when god put us in some situation, he knows that we are actually capable of handling it, he who created us definitely knows us better, and we have mind that can be programmed, he who wakes up with a smile and start his day enthusiastically will surely believe that his day is great eventhough it is not, and he who wakes up in selfpity will see his happy day as a mournful day.... when people said that they are sad, i often wonder, how sad is sad actually? and when people said that they are busy, i'll ask the same question and same goes to hard.... people said that maths is hard, hell it is, but after all, we can't never change maths, it's gonna be tough and hard if we still keep on believing that it is but it'll be easier if we believe that it is not, and yeah, THINGS WILL NEVER BE EASIER, YOU JUST NEED TO BE BETTER, u can't change the fate but u can change urself... and the end of the day, in order for us to survive, we have to change our mindset, our believes and and work....

i usually imagine myself struggling in the ocean, the shore is far at the back and there's an island at the front but daaaa, definitely it's far as well.... without life jacket, in otder for me to survive and alive, i have to keep on swimming eventhough i am tired, i have to keep on swimming eventhough i am sleepy and most important, i can't never give up or not, i'll get drowned... and in order for me to ensure that i can reach the siland, i needstrategy, i can't push myself till the limit at firs because later i'll lost my energy and i can't move too slow because there might be sharks waiting for me at seabed, who knows right? at the end of the day, the only way to ensure that u can get to the island is to keep on swimming, by all means...

keep on swimming people =)
p/s: chal was just reminding herself, don't get her wrong, she's not cocky =p

reality :/

salam....

i shouldn't be in this mood, pathetic i know, but hopefully i manage to put my thoughts into words,... i feel bad these few days, don't know, so many things went wrong and i kinda "tak betul" probably because i can't talk to him, never mind, chal is strong enough, she has too, for islam at least.... insha allah
this post will be on my opinion, the experiences and lessons that i managed to learn even after 2 weeks registeration at kolej matrikulasi pulau pinang. hopefully i manage to put my opinions on PPSMI into words, chal is not good in expressing ideas :p
honestly, i came to KMPP with one main reason, i want to feel the experience of meeting malaysians, true malaysians, majority of malaysians, why? after 5 years in bukit merbah, followed by 2 weeks with exxonmobil comrades, i don't think that i met typical malaysians, i mean the average malaysians because most of merbahians are all clever and same goes to my exxonmobil comrades... so, this golden chance in KMPP, i am using it to get to know malaysians, average malaysians who come from average families, having average academic background, having average confidence to converse in english and etc... it's average, frankly...
honestly, i love the orientation week very much, it's so nice to be put in the islamic territory, yes, it's islamic people.... at first, i was shocked to see a lot of sisters( the facilitators) wearing tudung labuh and all... and same goes to the brothers, when we had solat jemaah, u can see them coming very early, performing the solat sunat and all... honestly... i am touched.. i had the experience of being a fac too and i admit that i failed to be a good one :p and i love my faci as well, sys fairus... congrats sys, u didi it well.... she kept on mentioning about couple and stuffs... honestly, i can't accept why people here keep on mentioning about coupling and all, but after thinking and discussing with my few new friends, i came out with this conclusion, it's the teenagers common problem that usually distract their studies, yes people.. distracting!!! kmpp also has this "say no to couple" campaign.... i love it... and about the facis they are all excellent students with 3.8 pointer and above and they are all future professionals, yes studying engineering, medicine, pharmacists and etc and yet they are all commited to da'wah... subhanallah.... m impressed and touched as well... i'll surely miss this islamic territory very much as i am sure enough that i won't be such territory anymore:/ m still thankful because at least he still give me chance to feel the nikmat to be in such territory, it's nice people, very nice :)

this will be about PPSMI... after two weeks with my new exciting comrades, i finally realise one thing, PPSMI should be demolished, yes people!!! we learned science and maths in english for 5 years and theoritically, we suppose to understand the 2 subjects very well and same goes to our english... but after one week having the kuliah and tutorial with malaysians, i finally realise that PPSMI seem not to reach the target.... my classmates prefer to ask lecturers in bahasa and even i have to explain to them in bahasa... and i pity them for spending time to translate the lessons into bahasa... what a waste.... and these average malaysians seem to refuse to converse in english during the lectures and tutors and even in english class... i pity u guys, we are all victims... i even see that some lecturers have the difficulty to put their ideas in english, at the end, they say it in bahasa and the students can understand it well, very well... and reality bites, yes it is.... PPSMI actually benefits people in SBP, MRSM and other ellite schools and students from ellite families... but sadly, majority malaysians are just the average... at the end, yang dikejar tak dapat yang dikendong berciciran... and therefore mr PM, please abolish PPSMI, i pity my friends like hell... understand us....

i am still waiting for letters from JPA, please tell me where should i go.... i can't stand it anymore, learning bio and all... i had enough... no more bio please... but i thank allah for giving and meeting me with very nice friends, they are my strength to bertahan with the obstacles, hopefully i'll be strong... ameen...... i feel bad for jilting petronas, dunno... m suppose to attend btn tomorrow and fly next month. but reality bites... language is tough and ma can't afford to let me go that fast, i kinda understand but i feel bad, very bad.... after all, petronas scholarship is what i wanted since i was 12... but i hope i'll be ok after i know where jpa is going to put me, and please let me go to uk.... ameen

i feel bad, very bad and therefore i ask allah for the strength, chal is strong, yes strong enough to face the obstacles and therefore allah is testing her, her iman... but alhamdulillah, until now chal manage to see the unseen, behind the obstacles... yes, people.... i pray that u manage to see the unseen too....

i thank everyone who read my posts, i hope that u manage to see the unseen and may u get the benefits from my crap... ameen

p/s: albaqarah 216, let's ponder :)

he's there ;)

salam...

yes, he's there to listen to ur prayers and not only listen but also fulfill, thank u allah :) and thinking back about all his nikmat towards me, i feel so small yet thankful, what he gave and is way too much compared to what i gave him, don't make the comparison... u can't never reach that stage and indeed allah doesn't need our prayers actually, our zakat and all... yeah, i remember this saying from one ustaz back in college, rasakan solat itu satu nikmat dari allah sebagai tanda kita bersyukur, u know that u'll say thank you when people give u something; solat is one way to say thank u to allah... that's why we shouldn't take it as a burden, it's soo not.. we perform solat with big heart, to thank him for everything, nose, ears, air and all that we don't have to pay, yes it's free people!!!! i just can't imagine if i have to pay for the air, it's A LOT!!! and i remember this story of a man who asked allah to enter jannah based on his ibadat only, without rahmah(kasih sayang) including syafaat and all... oh, he did a lot of ibadah of course!!! and guess what happened? he didn't even qualify to be in da jannah, yes, without da syafaat, and therefore, there's no use to brag on our ibadat, there's no use to tell people on our solat sunat and all, no need!!!

i got offer from petronas, engineering in france, i was speechless, france had never been in my hope, i wonder why they still give me the offer eventho they know that i didn't have basic, so i may be neglecting the offer...

for exxonmobil, i am still waiting for the confirmation from texas a&m university, fatiah got the confirmation already but i am not sure about syed and syah.... cleo is going for his path, air force while amir is definitely into law... after considering and thinking on a lot of things, i wll jilt exxon, yes people... jilt.... that's the best choice, i'll remember G6 till infinity, insha allah

and alhamdulillah, i got jpa but i still wonder where are they going to campak me, yes JPA is the best choice... it will be easier for me to do my master right after i finish the degree and i can get into my favourite field, aerospace... hopefully.... he's there and i just have to ask for it

people, i am not kufur nikmat and all, rejecting the offer sesuka hati but i have reasons, i am still sane, insha allah :) i have to think a lot, yes a lot!!!

i went for this kuliyah maghrib last nite, wonder why da jews are too successful? it's simple, they are following da quran even just some of the verses, including da good food.... "halalan toyyiba"

p/s: islam akan pasti gemilang dan moga kita antara yang menggemilangkannya... ameen

istiqamah

salam...

m supposed to write something about nocturnal but this istiqamah thingy came out when i was on my way to n25 bukit selambau yesterday, was listening to this ceramah about istiqamah, this ustaz advised everyone to istiqamah with iman, the ustaz said when people asked u who created this universe, definitely we'll say allah right? but what if people ask u who created allah? what are u gonna say? i bet this question always come accross ur mind, this ustas suggested to answer this question by telling this ayat, m not sure but somathing istiqamah and whenever that question come accross ur mind, say lailahaillallah quickly and he saud the lafaz lailahaillah has to be renewed everyday, yes it is. and i just knew that if u happen to "tertelan" something while solat, u have to sujud sahwi, i just knew it, poor chal, humph :/

i believe that as merbahian we are trained to be istiqamah with our amalan just it depends on the individual, hay!!! i had been reading yaasin every friday's night since 13 n same goes to ceramah and lots more that we had even the prep time but the problem with merbahians this istiqamah thingy don't work when we approach our seniors life why? because we don't do domething sincerely, it doesn't come from our heart, i bet u this is the real reason and therefore i believe that in order for us to educate people it must come from our hearts, then only we can be istiqamaah as not every people realise the purpose of living and life, u wonder why why people keep on doing sin without feeling any guilt? u wonder why people keep on breaking rules even though their actions might harm them and the fact that they come from very good family? u can extrapolate the answer on ur own, no guesswork, trust me!!! as for me i don't do something because of the do's and the don'ts.... i pray because i don't see the purpose of not praying, i wear hijab because i don't see the purpose of letting people see my hair, i didn't break school rules during my life back in bukit merbah because i didn't see the purpose of doing it, seriously.. they said that it's for fun, fun? is that the purpose of urliving not ur life, but wait!!!! is that the only purpose of living? enjoy urself? while people in afghanistan, palestin, lebanon are suffering, starving for food, searching and working just to get something for food? is that it? man, that's cruel and atrocious! god forbid!!! think people, life is not about urself, u're living with lots more people in this world, do something people, live with others, i don't ask u to mourn and be sad, staid nad stern all the time, hay! islam is not that atrocious, mind me!!!! m sure u know how to play ur roles, do something for allah and for the ummah, u will be successful, insha allah....

this living and life thingy came after i read ustaz pahrol's article on hidup and kehidupan, his question on isteri itu teman hidup atau kehidupan keep on hitting my mind and i started to like it, i told raihan and semaa' about this and raihan loves this, she agrees and we manage to see the unseen, alhamdulillah!!! see jan, there are something that only we both understand this,... ustaz pahrol is so great... he said that kita membuat amal bukan untuk persediaan mati tapi persediaan hidup selepas mati and kita tak sewajarnya takut akan kematian tetapi takut akan kehidupan selepas mati, if m not mistaken lah...... so far, haven't found his blog but u can read his column in ANIS, never miss it.... if u're the life searcher, he is soooo a good mind readerlah.....

ponder it friends, istiqamah with all ur good deeds, know ur purpose of existence, hope u manage to see the unseen :)

disgruntled

salam...

that's what i feel right now, betul ke chal?(told u that i never know how to describe my feelings)..
so many things came across my mind, adoiiii, :/ hard to describe but this time, yes, it's about future but no more engineering and medic, but it's about marriage, politics and bla..bla..bla...

drop the marriage part(m not gonna tell u now, hish under 18, hahaha)...i am not blaming my school and my friends, not the fate too, but i think it's the mentality, collegians even though we wish and work to be different from others, to put ourselves head and shoulders above others, we work and believe that we are up to the notch but the reality bites, i don't know, may be it's our capability as women(to bee =>) don't know, hard to explain but i think only the collegians understand it kot, the fact that we won't be the future leaders if we keep on behaving like who we were back in the college, i don't know, after 5 years there, seriously i didn't see too much differences between us and the outsiders, don't know, we are actually like them just that kita "perasan bagus" and our ability to do multiple tasks in one time, sorry guys, reality bites, i am telling u the truth, and if we want to talk about "pride", i don't think that we really care like the old collegians used to, i don't know something went wrong and may be we should blame the admin too, to talk about pride, i miss my juniors time when we really care about it, it's actually following the syariah just that since collegians are mostly liberal, we don't take it from da islamic side, don't know.... i think it had turn 360 now, too different, everything as for me i care about pride and stuffs, it's not that we are "kerek" , vain, arrogant or any words yang sewaktu dengannya, just that as muslimah, there are things that u need to really practise and care, islam has bringing us the light but we choose to keep on being in the dark, who to blame?, wait, i don't want to babble on this matter, i am still dangkal, daaa

the environment in merbah is different, if y want to see the young leaders in political arena, i think u can go koleq or other schools, haaa, this is my point today actually, adoiii chal, menyimpang sungguh!!! ok, i think this is because we girls kot, wait, don't get me wrong. well, being and living in the comfort zone, we were drifted to our own world when we think that we are "good", sorry guys, that's the fact. if i need to compare us with the outsiders, they are somehow better than us,(yang berguna jugaklah). we were busy condemning others, yelling them these and those, saying and "kerek" to things yang entah apa-apa until one stage when we are outside the college and mix around with new people that came from various schools, then only we realise our weaknesses, haaa, that's the thing. we were trained to handle multiple tasks at one time, and i think that this gives us the credit but remember guys knowledge and experience should come together, u should juxtapose them, i see this in malays too, sorry but i believe that i can actually see the future of malaysia by just looking at the teenagers and collegians, why because we are among the precious assets that the country has, but may be our "naluri keremajaan"( i use this term because it can helps u to iamgine the teenagers conflicts), drifting us to dream, keep on dreaming while others are in the reality, the real atrocious world. i don't wanna blame us because we are girls but my dearie, we can actually be whoever we wanna be, the future is ours if believe that it is, the world is ours if u know that it is but whatever it is, behave well and follow the syariah,(insha allah, i'll write a post about merbahians yang dah "idiocy"), that's all.. be realistic because i know we can survive, we are survivors, oh NO!!! we are GLADIATORS, standing tough, (but u need to move people).. all the best dearies, may Allah render us rahmat

to all gladiators, selamat pulang ke gagang on thursday, hope to see most of u, i am going tomorrow and hoping to meet makey on wednesday, banyak benda yang i have to tell u semaa', we can change the world, i know we can. redha dengan our result, don't look back, don't regret if u've done ur best but allah didn't give u what u really wanted open ur tafsir and search for sural al-baqarah ayat 216, u'll be greatly fine, i'll make a post on my "advise" cum bebel to all my dearie after the result, we'll see see what i am gonna write, hahaha... welcome to th adulthood, to the real world, may allah bless 140 of us and the altruism teachers

rahmat ALLAH bersama kita :)
chal

knowing me: part 2

salam...

just took this personality quiz which is quite accurate and i feel like sharing =)

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. ( this is me, but the problem-solver part tug agak dubious :p)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. (this is also dibious, don't trust it)

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. ( i am selective, yes!! but love is subjective)

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.( this is sooooo true, it's my main concern and it based on concept "ilal mahdi ilal lahdi" [coorect me if i am wrong])

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.( this is quite true)

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying. (chal can't never run away with conffident,hehs)

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel. (hahaha, i like the word "sometimes", saya manusia)

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an OCEAN. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long. (i am an ocean but that's not how i interpret ocean, ocean is actually SMART and TOUGH, crap i know)

so, as promised to zafer, i'll write the differences between all the in-relationship terms, it's my opinion, u can oppose, i don't mind...

sahabat: i think this term came out to represent the relationship between Rasulullah and his friends, so based on this, for me, sahabat is actually a "term" that u refer to a person whom u love because of Allah, whom u always ready to help her, whom u always ready to CORRECT her wrongs, whom u always ready to support and believe her no matter what happen, to make it short like Rasulullah and sahabat, and as for me, sahabat is veryyyyy hard to find, so build up all the characteristics first and people will be ur sahabat

kawan: this is a "term" to represent a normal relationship, u can be kawan with others, pepatah melayu mengatakan, berkawan biar seribu, so start looking for kawan or friends, sama jerrr

comrade: my online dictionary said that it is refers to a person who shares in one's activities or occupation, it can be ur football comrade or whatever but for me comrade refers to a person that i share something in common between us, it's da unseen bond but u both know it, wait da communists also use comrade but that's not what i mean, daaa

chum: it refers to a close companion or may be roommates, the meaning sounds like comrade but actually chum is a person that u're close without any specific reasons, it may be because of the unseen bond too, just that one of you may be don't realise it lah.

well, there are the differences but either she's ur sahabat, kawan, comrade or chum , the most important thing that we need to remember, ukhuwah fillah, berkasih-sayang kerana Allah, then it can leads u to ever-lasting relationship, insha allah as u both are ready to accept each other's weaknesses, nobody is perfect in this world :p

the ustaz that i listened to his ceramah last nite said, don't hate people but hate their attitudes

so? ukhuwah fillah=)